A Tale of Ari
by Invader Ari
Summary: Fancharacter Warning- A story about a girl, who's probably lost her mind already, who decides to plot her way into Zim's "partnership" and help get rid of her own race for a price.
1. Ari's Sad world

Disclaimer and Authors Note- I don't own Zim. Sad but true. And if you clicked the link, bad! Bad you! This is a story, about a girl. That's all she is. Now leave and be happy or read and die, whatever suits ye best.  
  
Ari's stomach rumbled as her alarm blared. A lightly tanned hand flew over the bedside and smacked the Off button as a sleepy eyed girl of 14 sat up in her bed. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Ari glared at the blankets that lay scattered and piled at the foot of her bed. Shivering, she got up and made her way down to the kitchen. Knowing all too well what would be inside the refrigerator, she grabbed the metal door handle and yanked. Inside was nothing but a cold 20 bill as usual.  
  
Ari sighed as she went back upstairs to see if she could find a clean outfit to wear to school, seeing as how she hadn't done the laundry lately. It took her 10 minutes to find a clean looking outfit of the usual fire edged shirt and black baggy pants under her bed.  
  
Slowly she changed, showered, and grabbed her school stuff along with a piece of toast that was still in the toaster from yesterday. Shuddering at the thought of what could be on the toast for a moment before she ate it.  
  
It was depressing, knowing that today was no different from the others. She'd been in school for about four weeks, and rumors had been fluttering through the school already. "There goes that gothic girl again, yeesh she always acts like she's miserable." "Yea, why can't she just get a life?" "C'mon, lets go, she's almost within 10 feet of us!"  
  
Ari gritted her teeth, her hands balled themselves into fists as they were shoved into her pockets as she watched the flock of preps scurry off. Despite the fact that she was ok looking and pretty intelligent, she just chose not to be like the others. That meaning everyone.  
  
"All my life I've wanted to be different, have superpowers, be half animal, or maybe be from another world, but noooo, I have to be a stinking worthless human being. I hate myself." she thought to herself angrily as she dragged her feet along the cold concrete steps leading into her yearly prison.  
  
Ari pushed the dilapidated door open and slowly proceeded towards her "desk" in the corner of the room which was the skools way of saying table that was accidentally fused into the wall. Not to mention she was almost in back of the teachers desk from where her table was situated. She walked over to a desk that had a sticker saying "Kumari Jones" on it. She didn't hesitate to rip the front and last words off, so it just said Ari.  
  
"I wonder why he always puts these on my table. . ." she muttered, her overly happy teacher was always leaving pathetic notes and nametags on the kids' desks, did he expect them to forget their names overnight?  
  
More sleepy eyed and tousle-haired kids (or was their hair always like that?) wandered into the classroom to see a very odd looking girl with her head on her desk. As always, she was ignored.  
  
Ari's stomach rumbled once more, so she was seriously considering eating the 20 dollar bill in her pocket when she heard bickering outside in the hall.  
  
"Admit it Zim! Admit it that you're an alien! Someday I'll show the world- Agghhh!" That was followed by the sound of something large being thrown in the trashcan.  
  
Ari sighed as the teacher Mr. Smith came in the room, he used to have a wonderful habit of humiliating Ari daily, until the joke he made about her slitting his tires was made true. His cheery eyes glinted at the class as the first block bell rang.  
  
"Chemistry! I know all of you are dying to play with acid! So get out your beakers and test tubes and get out your chemicals!"  
  
20 minutes into class, a rather large explosion happened as one of the kids threw a small beaker of blackish liquid at Ari's head. She glared as it exploded all over the table, but before she could cast any death glares, the liquid found its way into some of her beakers, causing mass explosion.  
  
The wall had a good sized hole in it as Ari sat up from the rubble. She shook pieces of plast out, glaring at the fake wall. No wonder you could always hear the other teachers lecturing, the walls were only sheetrock with some filling. Mr. Smith glared at her through the hole.  
  
"FINE, you DO that troublemaker, BLOW UP our walls ya little terrorist! In fact, STAY THERE! YOUR OFFICALLY BOOTED OUT OF OUR CLASSROOM! I HOPE YOUR HAPPY-!" And with that, plaster and filling proceeded to fall and cover up the hole before a big poster was slapped over it. Ari sat confusedly in a pile of rubble looking at the other students, some of which were oblivious to everything that had just happened.  
  
Ari dusted herself off and sat in an empty desk in the back, so far you couldn't really tell if that blob was a kid or another desk. Oh wait, no. . .That was a kid. . .He was just blending in with the green desks. . .Wait a minute.  
  
She peered at the kid, he was quite Green.  
  
"Well THAT was unexpected." Ari murmured. Her voice seemed to carry to the freaky snake woman asleep at her desk.  
  
"Oh great another one. State your name and why your existing in my class." snarled the teacher, suddenly right behind Ari.  
  
"Woah. . ." she regained her composure and explained. My names- Kumari-" she cringed "Jones and I blew up the wall and now I'm in this class." She held back the urge to salute to the creepy figure as it hissed.  
  
"Fine whatever." First block seemed to be Let-the Teacher-Sleep-In-Peace-Or-Your-Desk-Will- Spontaneously-Combust time, as that was what happened to the first few kids that spoke. Her eyes wandered around boredly, looking at the odd hairstyles of the class, then wondering about herself faintly. Sure, the two uneven triangle wedges of goldish hair that always managed to elude being brushed and the shoulder length rest of it that once had said to have looked as if it was "cut with zigzag scissors" but whatever. She smirked as her eyes landed on the scythe of Dib.  
  
She watched him for a bit, he kept glaring at Zim, once in a while scribbling madly on a piece of paper and flinging it across the room. Ari's eyes followed it and now looked at Zim.  
  
"Zim. . .Zim and Dib. . ."The only way she could remember their names was because the teacher has barked something at the both of them around 5 times now. Suddenly Ari remembered something that had been bugging her. She was in the class with the crazy kid and the so-called alien. A grin spread faster than a weed across Ari's face.  
  
"If I do this right this could be my chance. . .to finally become Inhuman. . ." she paused and smiled, snickering away until the lunch bell rang.  
  
While sitting in her favored empty table, Ari's eyes wandered the cafeteria, it wasn't hard to find what she was after. The tell-tale jet- black scythe stuck up and she knew where Dib was. She dodged her way past the other kids, as when your at her level of ignoring kids tend to not see you as well, your more like a shapeless blob than a person.  
  
"Dib?" she asked, it was a bit of a question with a hint of a command to it. He turned his head; maybe he was shocked at having other people actually converse with him.  
  
"Uhm. . .yea?" he replied, turning towards Ari. She sat down and fidgeted.  
  
"Do you know if Zim is really an alien or not? I just wanted to know so I could.er, be prepared." she said, her smile concealing what her brain wasn't saying. "Damnit Ari! That was so friggin stupid! I mean, please, 'So I could be prepared?!' That is so lame!" Her brain screamed in an annoying echo-y high-pitched voice.  
  
"Are you kidding!? Of course he's an alien! He's got no nose, no ears, and he's got green skin!"  
  
From across the cafeteria came a faraway voice, "IT'S A SKIN CONDITION!"  
  
"Oh.k. Just checking.you know. I gotta go an um, be prepared some more.ummmm.yeah." (Ari's brain was pretty much tweaking out now with her horrible responses.)  
  
As she turned to leave, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Ready to spaz out because she hadn't had much contact with human life before, she whipped around and pulled out a dagger strapped to her ankle which was concealed in those baggy pants of hers.  
  
"Eeep." said Dib as he quickly retracted his hand.  
  
"Sorry about that, not much contact with other people gets you a little weird I guess."said Ari as she shrugged and placed the weapon back where she got it.  
  
"I could tell." said Dib quietly. "Anyway, I was just going to ask you if you um, might want to go and uh, spy on Zim's house or something? Its always better with company." he said as he blushed a bit.  
  
Not being used to affection before since her mother was a scientist in some lab place 24/7 while her dad disappeared years ago, Ari didn't know what to say.  
  
"Um.maybe later, k? I'll uh.um.gotta go!" and with that she ran off.  
  
Gaz, who just now seems to get in the story, raised an eyebrow. "Who was that?" she said, it wasn't really as if she cared, but she felt inclined to at least pretend that she knew what was going on with her brother.  
  
"Her name is Ari..." he said, and with that he went back to eating his bologna.  
  
Zim sat at his own table alone as usual when a blonde haired stinkbeast flew past him and ran out the doors. "Stupid humans, always in a rush," he thought to himself as he dissected with his fork (what appeared to be) a turkey leg.  
  
Another two hours of Miss Bitters ranting on about how doomed the world was until the bell rang. Slowly students disappeared and filtered out of the classrooms, some going through the windows or falling through bad floorboards into the underground classrooms. Ari took her time packing up her heavily doodled on notebook of furres and dragons until she and zim were nearly the last people in the classroom. Zim walked out of the schoolyard, unaware (or so Ari hoped) that he was being followed.  
  
Everything went well, after many twists and turns and walking through dark alleys, even when a scary looking lobotomy dog nearly sent both of them running, Ari managed to tail Zim all the way to his house. She hid in the bushes as she watched him walk up the sidewalk.  
  
"Something is very, very wrong about those gnomes.why don't I have gnomes???" Ari thought to herself as the robotic gnomes turned to identify their master. A small robot tackled Zim as he opened the door, and then the both of them ran into the house. Ari's plan might work after all.  
  
Night had come as the shadowy figure darted through the dark alleys and around shady corners as she tried hard to remember her directions, realizing she was not the best cartographer as she had made up things like, "go around corner" and "avoid small children". It took her a good hour to retrace her steps and find the right house.  
  
The full moon's light glinted as Ari unsheathed what appeared to be a Light Sword, it was an easy wielding sword, and Ari had trained with it for years. (When you're that lonely, you realize if you had friends they'd have ditched you because of your weirdness)  
  
Just out of curiosity, Ari picked up a rock and threw it at one of the gnomes. In midair there was a flash of light, a laser no doubt, and the rock was nothing but dust.  
  
"Shit." said Ari as she thought about how she could get over to the doorway still partially alive. "If I destroy them, an alarm could go off, and if I don't, they could set off an alarm anyway. Damn, damn, damn, damn. "  
  
Ari sheathed her sword deciding that she would have to be shifty to get past them. "If I'm not seen by them, they won't know I'm here, therefore no alarms can go off. Good job brain, you worthless organ you! Hehehehehe!" she pondered to herself, her tongue sticking out with happiness at her plan.  
  
No one noticed the teenage girl with a sword scurry up the side of Zim's neighbors' house. She edged along the rooftop before leaping silently onto the roof across from her. Praying the gnomes hadn't seen her; she unsheathed her sword for balance and made her way down to his front door.  
  
"DING DONG!"  
  
"I'll get it!" screamed Gir as he leapt into his disguise. Nacho cheese was dripping down the ear of it and cupcake stains were everywhere. Oblivious to these, he opened the door to face a random girl.  
  
"HI!" he said with an excessive amount of happiness.  
  
"Hi. Is Zim here?"  
  
"Ummmm, lemme check.MASTER!? ARE YOU HERE? MASTER??? A KANGAROO IS HERE!!!" with that he ran to the trashcan and jumped down it with Ari standing on the steps.  
  
Ari slowly edged into Zim's house, and nonchalantly stood there looking around. His house was a lot more interesting than other peoples. (Believe me, she does a lot of stalking) Ari liked the green monkey picture, it was funny. It also made her think of cake. Mmm, I like cake.  
  
Gir appeared once more, except this time he came up from the floor. Ari guessed there was a lot of secret entrances and doors in Zim's house for some reason.  
  
"My lord will see you when the cupcakes are ready!" Gir said insanely as he put on an apron and chefs hat.  
  
Ari sighed. Zim emerged from the kitchen (out of the trashcan perhaps?) with an odd look on his face. Dib had broken into his house it was almost a normal thing now. Except instead of finding Dib, a random girl was standing in his living room.  
  
"What the-? YOUR NOT DIB! WHO ARE YOU!?" he screamed as he put his weapon down in surprise.  
  
"My name is-"  
  
"WHO ARE YOU?! TELL ME OR FACE MY WRATH!" exclaimed Zim once more.  
  
Ari smiled; maybe he wasn't as smart as she'd hoped. "I'm Ari and I come asking a question."  
  
"A question? WHO SENT YOU!?" Zim once more exploded, his armed hand slowly rising.  
  
"Put down the gun or I'll be forced to shish-ka-bob you." Ari said drawing her sword. "No one has sent me, I come of my own will to ask a simple question, now are you going to make this a pleasant experience or a painful one?" Ari said, her temper rising with the green kid.  
  
Zim put the gun down and Ari sheathed her sword once more. (Will she ever use it???) "Then talk now stinkbeast." Zim said with disgust.  
  
"This is going to sound stupid I know, but I was just wondering if you're an alien." Ari said, her eyes wandering.  
  
"Of course not! Pffft, me, an alien? Your crazier than Dib. Really, ME, I'm just a normal human wormbaby-"  
  
"Really. . .Do you know who Einstein was? Or what Hitler did? Or maybe how Soap Opera's originated? And how fast a train can travel, Or what an Echidna is? And of course the meaning of life?"  
  
". . . . . . ." He looked pretty confused then looked away arrogantly. "I don't have time for your pathetic knowledge quizzes! Besides, all humans know those things anyway, why shouldn't I?"  
  
"Oh well then.I guess you wouldn't need any ideas, or more importantly, plans, for world domination if your not an alien."said Ari with a hint of fake sadness in her voice.  
  
"Wait, what!?"  
  
"Yeah, its sad really when your so alone you design and create possible ways to take over the hideous world." said Ari, this time with real sadness mixing with fake, although she quickly covered it up.  
  
"Tell me more about these plans, not that I'm interested in them or anything." Zim said. "Maybe I can use this humans plans, then I will destroy them all and finally conquer this horrible planet once and for all!"  
  
"Nope, sorry Zim, since your not an alien, I guess I'll have to go burn them.or hand them over to the FBI."said Ari coyly. The conversation was going almost as well as she had planned it. She headed for the door.  
  
Zim quickly locked it and stepped in front of her. "Listen to me human, I'm exactly like you are, I'm not an alien of any sorts.but tell me your plans just for the fun of it, ok?"  
  
"Wow, his excuses are almost as bad as yours!" thought Ari's brain to herself. "Listen Zim, I've seen proof of it, and I know for a fact you're an alien, and I just wanted to come over here to convince you to let me join you, I have the money, and enough knowledge to know you need help doing this. And I can get Dib out of the way if you know what I mean." said Ari with a bit of an evil smile.  
  
Zim looked torn between something as he stood silent for a few minutes. He had never told anyone he was an alien, and never would, he trusts no one! But this human, she might have the answer to conquering the planet, she had been her longer and certainly would know more about the planet than he did, all of its defenses and everything.but to join him?  
  
"Come back tomorrow, and bring your plans." he said grimly. "I haven't said anything yet, and you have no proof of anything, so don't try it."  
  
"Oh but Zim, I would do nothing of the sort!" said Ari as she unsheathed her sword and pointed the tip to Zim's neck. "I am no double-crosser." She said as she nicked his neck with the tip of her blade and disappeared into the foggy night air.  
  
"We'll see human." said Zim with a twisted smile as he put a hand up to his neck to gaze at the drop of deep greenish blood that lay on his finger. "We'll see." 


	2. The Brain Pulse Reader

Chapter 2  
  
Authors Note: Yay, second chapters up! Hehehe, remember, tell me whatcha think, feel free to say it sucks lol. Well yes, my story is INCREDIBLY boring and all, but suffer with me or just read a better story, I recommend the Wizard of Ak, great story by Nadine. Anyway, yeah, ignore any mistakes and crud you'll find, if I wrote this, its bound to suck anyway. - Amanda ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
Skool went by miserably slow that day, Ari took care to avoid all contact with Dib, he was just plain weird, like an overly happy child with a case of insanity..She decided to keep the hopeful partnership idea under wraps, she didn't want anyone finding out for some reason, mainly because she became paranoid of Dib.  
  
Ari almost cried with joy when the bell rang out at the end of the day, the students' only way of happiness in Miss Bitters class was made from that glorious bell..But enough about that, Ari had caught up with Zim, who walked surprisingly fast. She checked behind her for anyone watching but it appeared to be safe. The two said nothing until they reached Zim's house. Ari didn't take a step onto his walkway until he pulled out a key chain- like object and typed in a few numbers. The gnomes appeared to have been deactivated as Zim walked through with Ari tailing close behind..She didn't like lasers or guns as much as swords, they were cheating weapons, and always would be to her.  
  
Somewhere, far, far, off in the middle of a galaxy, aboard the Massive ship, Almighty Tallest Red fell down on the floor clutching his head in pain.  
  
Purple rolled his eyes in disgust as Red cried out, "Laser-senses-TINGLING! Someone-disliking-lasers! Aghhhhhh!" Red continued to twitch while Purple continued eating his nachos. I like nachos.  
  
Ahem, back to the story..  
  
Ari, just beginning to feel like her life was about to go right stepped inside the oddly shaped door of Zim's house. Before she could say another word, Zim's gloved hand covered her mouth and nose in a liquid soaked rag, and Ari fell unconscious. The last thing she heard was, " Heh, stupid Humans.."  
  
Gir sat in the middle of Zim's lab while sticking stuff to the floor with nacho cheese and paste. He had just started on making a rubber piggy tower when Zim's enraged cry rang out through the house.  
  
Gir ran over to Zim, his metallic legs clinking on the hard floor. "What is it master? Did they get the pizza wrong?" he said innocently.  
  
"No Gir, they did NOT get the pizza wrong, every single one of these plans, every one, is in code! And the computer has never seen it before, it doesn't exist on Earth!"  
  
"Maybe the human made it up to play G.I. Joe with!"  
  
Zim returned a blank stare at his crazed little robot when his eyes lit up. "GIR! YOUR RIGHT!"  
  
"Finally."  
  
"No, not really, but in a way you've given me an idea! The Ari human has obviously made the code as a fail-safe plan, so I would have to let her join me to decode the plans.. Ingenious for a human really, but still I have a way to win.."GIR! Attach the human to the brain pulse reader, we will see where she's keeping the information that we need by going inside her mind..Plus we can see all her embarrassing memories!" added Zim as a bonus.  
  
Gir had too much trouble trying to life Ari into the chair-like machine so Zim was forced to do it. Ari sat slumped over in a large black and purple chair complete with wires from the back connecting to the large computer screen Zim would talk to the tallest on. Gir had actually managed to get the Brain Pulse Band onto Ari's head, or as Gir called it the Head Psychic."  
  
Gir obediently brought his own chair and a horrible buttery bag of popcorn, which made Zim so sick he was forced to sit in his own chair 7 feet away. Shaking off the stench of butter that lingered heavily in the air, Zim turned on the band. Instantly, millions of memories flooded onto the screen, some larger than others. "I suppose that means they are more important to her..Fascinating."  
  
Zim and Gir watched some of them, at least 30, and most were very unhappy ones. Ones where Ari had tried to runaway but ended up starving and returning back home 8 days later. Another was when she had her 13th birthday party she had been planning all year (It was VERY large on the screen) and her mother had been too busy to send out invitations. Smaller memories of her crying, drawing, and writing but Zim hadn't found the code yet.  
  
"ZIM WILL NOT GIVE UP!" he said triumphantly as he began searching once more.  
  
Ari's eyes twitched unpleasantly as the effects began wearing off. It felt as though millions of needles were stabbing into her mind all at once, over and over again!  
  
Meanwhile, Zim had stumbled onto a section full of dreams, most where day dreams that were gruesome and twisted, others of her being half animal and half human where she ran free..Zim found this quite odd. Surely other humans weren't like Ari, he had brain pulsed many others and he had never seen things like this before.  
  
Ari's eyes and arms now twitched in unison as Gir smeared a buttery smiley face on her shirtfront. His insane giggling was almost enough to drive her insane, luckily Zim yelled at him to stop.  
  
He had found something very sad in a way..It was a very vivid dream, with the lines of what appeared to be a song in the background. It showed Ari and strangers all around her, laughing and prodding and teasing, others shoving her in the dirt while more and more gathered to see her. She was trapped now, and then everyone exploded away in a burst of blue and black, images of an older man who appeared to be her father packing a suitcase and leaving. He kissed her and said, "Don't worry sweetie, I'll be back soon!" more images and song, then a gravestone saying Luke Jones on it. Now it showed a picture of Ari standing there while tears fell in the background. By the time the dream was done, Zim had searched for everything. But he was busy thinking of this new odd feeling that burned inside of him to be angry at having failed to locate the code breaker.  
  
"Computer! Analyze this emotion, quickly!" Zim shouted out to the computer as a thin cable shot out from the computer into his I.D. Pak.  
  
"Emotion is Pity and Sadness. Caused by unknown source." said the computer monotonously.  
  
"Pity? What is this Pity?! Zim lets no one have his pity! Computer, define pity!"  
  
Before the computer could respond, Ari spat "Pity is when you feel bad for someone because they've had it worse than you, and because they know deep inside their worthless and always will be. And I don't need your pity Zim, don't waste it on me." Ari's head hung nearly limp, talking while the brain pulse reader was on was extremely tiring and made her head feel as if it were to explode with each word.  
  
"What the-? How are you awake?! No human ever is able to regain consciousness while the machine is on-Oh no!!" said Zim; barely realizing he and Gir both had no disguises on. But his decision would make it so that disguises would no longer matter.  
  
"Gir!"  
  
"Yes, master?!"  
  
"Un-strap the Ari human and bring her upstairs to the living room and let her rest."  
  
"We can keep her!?" asked Gir with enthusiasm.  
  
"Maybe if your good and do as your told Gir." said Zim with a smile.  
  
"Yayyy!" screamed Gir as he propelled himself over to Ari and unlocked the steel cuffs that held her arms and feet to the chair. He ran off somewhere and shortly returned with something that resembled the voot runner carrier, except it was long and square shaped. Easily Enough Ari (with Zim's help) was slid onto the carrier and brought up to the living room.  
  
Ari was running, through a hallway of horrible eyes all gleaming and shining with evil intentions, gunshots echoed in the background along with the voices of people talking casually. Ari stumbled and instead of falling down she fell through what she thought was the floor into a box like room. Strange shapes whirled about her, dragons and griffins and others. Ari seemed to smile before huge jaws of a deep red something enveloped her into inky blackness.  
  
The 14-year-old girl sat up straight. She was in a strange place, this wasn't her room! Ari was more confused than scared though, she had always hoped to just fall asleep and wake up in another place..Although this wasn't what she meant. Ari placed a hand to her head where an unpleasant tingling sensation was, that jolted her back to her senses; she was at Zim's house!  
  
"That conniving little alien! If he doesn't want my partnership then fine, I really don't care anymore, as long as he hurries up with his destruction of the human race thing, it doesn't really matter to me." said Ari, a result of having no other friends was that she had begun to converse with herself.  
  
Zim stood in the doorway; two blazing red eyes shone through the darkness slowly approached her. A silhouette stood in front of Ari as she started to space off, luckily for her she noticed that the light had dimmed much more from the window since Zim was in front of it.  
  
"Hello Zim, why aren't I dead yet?" said Ari simply.  
  
"Because human, I have decided to use your plans, but I will er.require your assistance in decoding them."  
  
"You weren't able to find the information you needed were you." A smile snaked its way across Ari's face.  
  
"No..I chose not to um..find it because you would be much more useful to me alive. Plus I'm going to make you decode the maps yourself." Zim said, obviously not used to asking.  
  
A rather evil smirk appeared on Ari's face. "But Zim, what do I get in return for helping you out? Think about it, I know earths defenses, Human law enforcement, their latest technology, I can be very useful to you Zim, but how would you repay me for it?"  
  
"What on Irk do you mean? You get the honor of 'helping' the almighty ZIM! Does that not feed your human thirst???"  
  
"Never mind Zim, we'll work that out as we go."  
  
"You humans.."said Zim with a short sigh. "But first, I can not allow you to leave my house until I can be sure that you won't er," Zim had a faint recollection of Ari's sword tip at his neck the last time they talked about loyalties. "Betray m-" he paused at the murderous glare from Ari.  
  
"Don't even finish that sentence Zim, if there's one thing I am, its loyal. Never forget that Zim, never." Ari put much emphasis on "never".  
  
"Fine then, but as I was saying, you will be kept here until I consider you trustworthy enough."  
  
"So your saying I can't leave here until you know I won't tell everyone about you? Oh that is so lame..But what about my house, let me go home tonight, you can come with me if you want, I've got to set everything up so no one notices my disappearance." Ari ignored the fact that her mother only came home 1 every 2 weeks and had a maid clean the house and give Ari food money.  
  
"On one condition..." smiled Zim as Gir walked out of the kitchen.  
  
Soon a very unhappy looking Ari walked out of Zim's house after she was sure the gnomes were off wearing a very thick glowing collar and leash with matching glowing wrist cuffs. Gir pranced happily about them in the chilly night air, his dog suit making squeaky noises randomly. Zim held the other end of the leash as an embarrassed Ari led the way to her house.  
  
"I just hope the weirdoes don't eat us." said Ari calmly as Zim shuddered with disgust. (Or maybe it was fright? Ah well. Anyway-)  
  
Ari glanced around as a clock struck 3 A.M. Sighing, Ari continued walking although she quickened her pace when she heard more than 3 pairs of feet walking, but it only turned out to be a cat.  
  
Soon they reached a normal sized house with an incredibly amount of scientific alarms. Ari had to argue with Zim for a while to let her have the handcuffs off so she could turn off the alarms for him. Ari slid her hand under a fake patch of grass near the mailbox and pulled out a key. She yanked the flag down on the mailbox to reveal a keyhole.  
  
"Much more difficult than a key chain Zim." she said in a playful teasing voice. Zim made a wry face. As the alarms were shut off, Ari climbed up a plant riddled ladder that lead to an old abandoned tree house next to her 3rd floor window. Bracing herself for lacerations, she leapt from a far tree branch and met full contact with the window. Glass shattered as Ari checked herself over on the floor of her room, only finding two cuts on her; she walked over to her bed and pulled out a small duffel bag. With her free bleeding arm and hand Ari had used to protect her face it was hard to pack. Soon enough she had clothing, and whatever else she would need. Although she knew to bring only essentials, she couldn't leave behind her sword.  
  
Ari slid the scabbard on and put her trusty sword into its place as she threw her duffel bag out the window. After she then emptied the family piggy bank, which was a minor sum of about 300 dollars.  
  
(It was a good thing her mother was a well paid scientist sometimes) Ari thought to herself as she held her bleeding arm with an equally bloody hand. She leapt from tree branch to tree branch until she was low enough to jump to solid ground seeing as how her arm would only get worse if she used the ladder, plus bloody handprints were never a good thing to be found when your missing.  
  
Zim put on a look of revolt as Ari held out her bloody limbs to be handcuffed again. Instead Zim just put the leash on her. It seemed all three of them walked a bit faster this time, except for when Gir almost blew their cover for shouting out "TACOS" when they passed a Crazy Taco billboard.  
  
"What IS that on your arms?" asked Zim in an oddly curios voice. "And why do Humans secrete it at odd and inconvenient times?"  
  
"This, Zim, is blood." Ari said in a pained voice, obviously her cut was deeper than she had thought while her arm dripped an unsightly trail as the three walked. "Humans have it to keep them alive kinda, it gives our muscles oxygen, like if you lose too much blood, your organs stop working cuz they don't get enough air sometimes, and you get cramps and stuff." Ari sighed in relief as she spotted Zim's eerily glowing house.  
  
"Weird..Then why is your blood red? And mine is green?" he asked, his curiosity almost becoming unbearable.  
  
"Zim, please, just get me a towel or something, then we can talk more about blood, but first make sure I don't lose all of mine.."she smiled despite the not-so-humorous situation.  
  
"Oh, ok. Gir run ahead and shut off the gnome field and bring the human a towel!"  
  
"Yes, my master! Towelly for da kangaroo!" said Gir in his usually high- pitched voice. Ari wondered what their conversation sounded like to the people she hoped were still asleep. By the time Ari was back on the couch, she had started hallucinating for some reason. (Hopefully from loss of blood lol)  
  
"Wow, I didn't know that hippos could do that!" she voiced, causing Zim to shoot her a more than confused look as he wrapped a towel around her arm and hand. Ari's eyes flashed at the sense of something unknown touching her. She whipped out her dagger that she used to intimidate Dib and nearly sliced off on of Zim's antennae.  
  
"Computer, Recovery Bay!" said an unnerved Zim as the entire couch slowly sank down 3 floors while he restrained Ari. Before the couch had stopped, Ari had lost consciousness. (She seems to do that a lot in this story doesn't she?) Zim panicked, this human was the only way to decode the plans, if all of her "blood" ran out, then he would never be able to understand the foreign language!  
  
"Computer, Search for Human Blood Loss Recovery Process! Quickly!"  
  
Gir quietly walked over to Ari as she was transported from the couch to a flat, padded tube-like container. Zim followed the instructions the computer had given him while muttering Irken curses about humans and their blood under his breath.  
  
Soon Ari had a crude yet sufficient enough bandage on her arm, at least the blood flow had stopped. Another bandage adorned her left hand along with scratches from the tree branches.  
  
Zim sat with his face pressed up against the glass lid of Ari's containment chamber to keep out all germs while circulating air still. (Through his other lab patients he had disturbingly found out that humans needed air..) He went back to thinking when he noticed Ari's bag laid on the couch. He went over to it and sat down as he rummaged through it. There was a picture of three people, Ari as a smaller stinkbeast, along with two others who appeared to have been her creators.  
  
Zim studied the face of the man closely, and realized that it was the same man from her dream! "How strange, her dreams reflect her life, I've never seen this before in a human."  
  
Soon Zim had found Ari's sketchbook, he peered at her drawings, more dragons and monsters, then some dark comics and- a spaceship design model? As Zim flipped more to the back of the book, models and blueprint designs littered each page for a complex ship, what astounded Zim so much though was that her theories were very close to Irken Science.."Another odd look was shot at the human that laid silently in the tank next to Zim.  
  
"I hope this works.."said the alien as he curled up on the couch and slept. 


	3. Gir Pants Chaos

The Decoding Begins  
  
Authors Note: Thank you PoisonTears for leaving me such a nice review, you made me all tingly! As well as everyone else who did! Thankee! Now, back to our story.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
A searing pain was welling up in Ari's right arm and left hand. She twitched as she dozed fitfully. She was in a land entirely of candy; she could even smell the sweet scent of bubblegum and chocolate mingling together. (Although it actually didn't smell good, but they're both good.Mm, chocolate)  
  
Ari's eyes snapped open as a drop of cold liquid splattered onto her forehead. Her eyes met Gir's as he noisily sucked a brainfreezy then stared openmouthed at her while she slept. Rubbing the sticky chocolaty blob off of her forehead and grateful it missed the two triangle shaped locks of blonde hair that always stuck off her forehead, Ari glanced around again.  
  
"Gir, where am I?" she asked with interest. She had never seen such a place before in her life, buttons and levers were everywhere, the computer screen was busy playing the Scary monkey show, and scientific looking alien equipment littered the surface of the counters.  
  
"Location is Recovery Wing, third floor of secret base, Sir!" said Gir, his eyes flashed red for a moment but quickly returned to blue again as he said "Want some!?" and shoved his brainfreezy rather close to Ari's face.  
  
"No..I'm good, thanks."  
  
"Jus a lil sip?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Pleeese? Sip?" as his eyes began to water with tears.  
  
"No Gir, no si-oomph!" said Ari as the straw was shoved up into her mouth. Ari sighed, giving up and sucked on the straw before it was yanked out of her mouth. Ari struggled to swallow the chocolaty mass of bubblegum now in her mouth.  
  
"Like it!?" Gir cried out loudly as Ari nodded her head forcing a smile before jumping out of the container she slept in and running to a trashcan and spitting the whole thing out.  
  
"Wha was that?" said Gir behind her a few feet.  
  
Ari, not wanting to hurt the robots feelings, (Something's not right in that sentence..) threw out the first excuse her mind could think of. "That was just..my spine."  
  
"Ohhhhh. Okeedokee! Lets go eat waffles!" screamed the robot as he tugged on Ari's bandaged hand.  
  
"Gaaahhh! Ow! OW OW OW OW OW!" Screamed Ari as the robot continued to tug on her hand. Zim probably had heard the commotion and entered the room from the couch elevator.. thing.  
  
"Gir! Stop harassing the human and clean up the pile of mud upstairs."  
  
"My waffles!" yelled the robot so turned on his jets and flew upstairs.  
  
"Showoff." Zim muttered.  
  
"How are your cuts?" Zim asked, well, it sounded more like a command really but Ari ignored that.  
  
"They'll heal soon enough, but I won't be doing anything very active for a while. I can start decoding the plans now if you want, but it will be much easier if you tell me how far your technology has gone, these plans are all based on what you could do with Human science, not..yours."  
  
"Its Irken for your information." Zim puffed up his chest a bit. "The fiercest race of invaders ever to see the light of day, we have conquered over 12 galaxies, and that was just operation impending doom! Soon, all of the races of the Galaxy will serve the Irken Empire! Muawww-Hahahaha!" yelled Zim triumphantly although a hint of insanity was present in his voice.  
  
"You do realize I'm standing right next to you." Ari said as she put a finger to her ear to make sure it still functioned right.  
  
"Oh uh, whoops. Anyway, tell me more about your human 'science'. And I want to know about 'beaches' and 'sub-weighs' and everything! Begin spilling your information juices to Zim!"  
  
Ari walked over to the couch and sat down, Zim followed and the long conversation began.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
Gir heard the doorbell ring as the little robot sat amidst the pile of dirt and filth Zim had told him to clean up 2 hours before. "Puppies!" giggled the robot as he bounced into his disguise and opened the door only to find no one was there. He glanced down and saw a fluttering piece of paper with a rock on it.  
  
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Gir squealed as he picked up the envelope and ripped the top off. He shook the envelope roughly until a small piece of paper flew out saying, "Absence of Skool, day 24. Please refrain from skipping Skool and call ahead to inform us if your poor doomed child is sick and won't be able to participate in the rest of the doomed classes activities."  
  
"Yay!" Gir remembered when the first on of these arrived when Zim stayed home because of Keef Zim said to eat every one. Gir hastily shoved the paper into his mouth and chewed happily.  
  
-----------------------------------------Meanwhile-------------------------- --------------------------  
  
"So your saying that creation of living creatures can be accomplished through body forming prior to the creatures existence? So you could literally design your own monsters as long as the bone structure and muscles all worked together? That's really amazing." said the astounded girl as Zim proudly announced,  
  
"That's nothing, you should see our weaponry!"  
  
"Well, I think you've got a good idea about Earth now, Subways are modes of transportation, Most people aren't as suspicious as Dib, Humans DON'T Have robot slaves, humans live to about 70 years old, and that the FBI isn't actually a government law enforcement agency designed to fight aliens. Yeah, I think we went over most of the important stuff." Ari closed her eyes as she sat on the couch comfortably, watching Zim out of the corner of her eye.  
  
"You still didn't explain why your doing this." Zim said simply as he held a screen that had written down all they had said.  
  
"What, helping you? That's an easy question, I'm tired of humanity, it thinks it is the highest and most intelligent of all the races, prides itself for knowing the most and crushes down the smaller species that are forced to live below it. So I want to escape from it. That's all."  
  
"You know, you can be very weird at times." said Zim quirking an invisible eyebrow.  
  
"Won't the school be suspicious if BOTH of us are missing? And once Dib finds out about this, he's not going to like it very much." Ari said lamely as she tightened the bandages that encased her arm.  
  
Zim's red eyes narrowed at his name. "And how, exactly, would Dib find out?" his voice was silky yet murderous.  
  
"Please Zim, you can't stay here the entire time, the school will send someone over, and if you don't trust me and we go to school with me wearing a glowing collar that's not going to look very normal now is it?" Ari scratched her nose for no reason. "I guess you'll have to trust me sooner or later, before the entire plan is ruined due to your stubbornness to trust a human. A human who has nothing to lose and nothing to gain from this, while you could become King of the world in a matter of months. Think about it Zim.." Ari took out her sketchbook and began doodling more monsters while Zim pondered what she had said.  
  
"I would be given the respect an Almighty Tallest would only receive!" he said quietly to himself. Ari's non-visible ears (hidden under her thick blonde hair) heard this. "You'd be the what?"  
  
"Who are the tallest?" asked Ari innocently. Zim gasped.  
  
"I forgot to give you the honor of saying who the Almighty Tallest are! They are the leaders of the entire Irken Empire, with a height over 6 earth feet!"  
  
"Zim, most humans grow to be 6 feet tall."  
  
".....Well um...THEY ARE STILL ALMIGHTY AND POWERFUL! Even the smallest of smeets can recognize their awesome omnipotence!"  
  
A low snuffling sound could be heard by Ari, as she had fallen asleep on the couch. Zim frowned but hesitantly pulled a blanket over Ari and went off to look for the plans. When she woke it would be time to get down to business..  
  
It was a glorious sight, as Ari sat atop a mug winged beast. Humans ran in every direction as gigantic monsters chased them down, smashing buildings and destroying things and they went. Two dark figures loomed in the background watching, one with dark purple eyes and one with deep red. Zim was below Ari on another monster as he headed off in another direction. Two other strange figures rode monsters, underneath her flying creature she struggled to see their faces but everything went black as a horrible smell filled the air.  
  
Ari choked and coughed in her sleep as the stench of tacos infiltrated her sweet dream. Blinky slowly, she opened her eyes to none other than Gir. The little robot had left a taco in front of her face while she slept, thinking her hair would eat it.  
  
Before Ari could wonder where the troublesome robot was, something moved up her pants leg. Eyes widening in shock that something cold and greasy was slowly inching up her leg was more than terrifying as she slowly stood up, Gir's head popped out of her more-than-loose pants. Zim slowly walked into the room sipping a cup of something when he saw the scene.  
  
"Gir, what are you OH MY TALLEST! WHATS GOING ON HERE?!?" Zim screeched as Ari yelled; "GET IT OUT OF MY PANTS!"  
  
"I's riding in da Kangaroo's pouchy!! Weeeheehe!!!" Gir pulled out a quarter and dropped it into Ari's pocket, thinking it was a coin slot.  
  
Gir's horrible greasy hands had begun to drip now onto Ari's pants where the little robot lost his grip and tumbled down the leg and promptly got stuck halfway. Ari started hopping on one foot and trying to shake the little monster off of her while Zim stood there and watched dumbfounded.  
  
After a good 3 more minutes of madness, Gir finally was kicked out with extreme force from Ari's pant leg where he quickly got up and made a run back for it. Luckily for Ari, Zim made a dive towards the maniacal robot and managed to shut him off. Followed by that was a rather embarrassing silence as Ari began to take off her slimy dripping pants.  
  
"What are you DOING?"  
  
Ari stopped unbuttoning her pants halfway as she was struck with, 'What the hell AM I doing???"  
  
"Sorry, I don't know what happened, usually I'm always alone so I really don't care where I change..Sorry if your scarred for life now..Do you have a bathroom?" Ari knew that question sounded stupid and that she now looked like a slut taking her pants almost off without noticing when Zim interrupted her thoughts.  
  
"Uh, yeah but the toilets upstairs and the showers in my lab. Don't ask why." he said quickly, remembering when he had to build a new shower in the lab for water and glue testing.  
  
"Oh..kay. Could I maybe use your shower? I'm horribly..cheesy now and feel the need to scrub myself."  
  
"Sure yea, ok. I'll lock the lab doors until your done so Gir doesn't interrupt you..The little robot had turned back on of his own accord and was casually rummaging through Ari's bag.  
  
"Thanks a lot Zim. Wow, this feels weird actually talking to other...things." Ari said embarrassedly as she grabbed her bag and took Gir out of it before she walked upstairs. She looked at Zim with a clueless expression.  
  
"Oh, sorry. Elevator, Take Ari to the Main Lab!"  
  
"Da kangaroo went bye bye.." said Gir sadly as he glued his feet to the floor.  
  
Ari felt odd as she stripped off her horrid taco smelling clothes and wrapped the shower around as far as it could go, which was about 3/4 of the circular rack. The only open part was facing a blank wall anyway and the doors were locked so she didn't feel very "exposed"  
  
As Ari stepped out of the shower she tried to rub the water from her eyes while getting her towel from her bag until a confused and surprised noise came from the wall. Until she opened her eyes.  
  
A picture of the two tallest appeared on the wall, which was indeed NOT a wall but a transmission screen. Ari's blue eyes began to twitch.  
  
Slowly she turned away and promptly ripped the shower curtain in front of her as she put on her towel. She ripped the curtains back again to face the tallest in her towel.  
  
"Um..This never happened." said Tallest Red oddly.  
  
"Deal." said Ari as she walked out of the room. 


	4. High OnCheese crunchies?

Chapter 4- Here Be Monsters!  
  
Ari smiled to herself as Miss Bitters ranted on about mutant toilet rats. She prided herself at having Zim come with her to school. Not that she was really missing anything, in fact quite few of the students were missing. Ari remembered the answer Miss Bitters had cut her off with before as she asked.  
  
"Miss Bitters, where did the rest of the students go-"  
  
"Underground classrooms. Sit down or you'll join them."  
  
"Eeep!" squeaked Ari and sat down. The day went by particularly well, that is, until Lunch. Ari had explained the entire, "Dib- stalker" thing to Zim so he wouldn't be pissed off for talking to him.  
  
"Hi Ari! Why weren't you here on Thursday? Huh? Huh? Huh? Were you sick? Did you spy on Zim? Find anything out about him that we could use? Didja? Huh?" said Dib. For a moment he reminded Ari of a little dog.  
  
"Uh, Dib, I think that I'm just going to ignore Zim and everyone else right now..I'm returning the favor." Said Ari slowly.  
  
Dib blinked. "You mean, just block out the world? How could you do that? I mean, there's an alien sitting right-over-there!" he pointed at Zim who responded with a glare at Dib.  
  
"Simple, I start by ignoring you first." and with that she took another bite out of her sandwich. Dib looked both hurt and angry as he marched off back to Gaz. Ari smiled.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
The Tallest were back on the screen again as Zim was filling them in in the plan he and Ari had come up with together.. Oddly enough the Tallest appeared to be listening to him this time.  
  
"Your going to use Advanced Irken Monster Creation Technology just to destroy the humans?" said Red questioningly.  
  
"Yes! I have already made plans for the skeletal structures to be made, they are being made from the strongest metals Irk can offer!"  
  
"What kind of energy source will your creations run on? You know that's why those inventions aren't widely used anymore. Besides, anyone who uses those usually just gets blown up from malfunctio- I mean, That's a great idea Zim!" said Purple enthusiastically.  
  
"Thank you for realizing my Tallest. Now I must go, the skeletal design program is finished being installed. Invader Zim, signing off!"  
  
"Wow. I think he's finally snapped." said Purple blatantly.  
  
"Or else he's finally discovered a plan that could actually work..."  
  
"......"  
  
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" laughed the two figures insanely.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Zim took the elevator to the room Ari was in as she fiddled with the skeletal designing program. A picture of what looked like a dragon's bone structure was on the screen.  
  
"Alright Zim, I've thought of a new plan, it's the most possible one so far. I'm designing monsters with Artificial intelligence, but they can be controlled from the inside mechanically. Like Big..robot...things. Yeah, anyway it turns out that one of the metals acted oddly when I exposed it to the air, or maybe it was the sun. Either way it turns out that something, probably a chemical of some sort in the earth's atmosphere carries an Irken form of energy that reacts positively to the metal and somehow...I don't know, but it can act as an ever-present fuel for our machines! Wow, I sounded pretty smart saying all that stuff, glad that's over." Ari sighed with relief as she had said everything in one entire breath.  
  
One of Zim's antennae twitched as he looked back over to Ari, clearly not paying any attention to her. "Did you say something?" he asked with all-too- much innocence to his voice. Ari restrained herself from punching Zim square in the nose (if he had one that is) as she turned her attention back to the computer. Soon, many different monster designs were on the screen, winged ones, hoofed ones, ones that were terrifying to look at even.  
  
Ari smiled proudly as she announced, "Pick one." Sighing at the look of immense confusion that replaced the innocence, she explained.  
  
"Ok Zim, pick a monster, this will be the monster that I team you up with, as in, destroying stuff together, etcetera."  
  
"What, you want me to ride, one of...THOSE?" he exclaimed pointing at one of the monsters and waving his arm to emphasize his reaction. (It was a very large moose with wings and sharp teeth, creative huh?)  
  
"No, not really, you could if you wanted to I guess. But the way I had it planned we'll be inside where the monster's brain should be, but since it runs on a single A.I chip, there's a lot of space, so it can act as our control rooms. Its even got a TV!" Ari said happily, her tongue sticking out of her mouth in a crooked smile.  
  
"Hmm...Yes, we will build an army of monsters! Then, we will obliterate every human trace on this planet!"  
  
Both of the figures started laughing manically in unison.  
  
"Nice laugh." said what appeared to be an impressed Zim.  
  
"Thanks. I've been workin' on it."  
  
"Ahem, uh, so if you need any help, just tell Gir and he'll come and get me." Both of them suddenly shot a glance at the little robot who randomly started singing "Hello Dolly". Ari gave Zim a doubtful look.  
  
"Er, or you could just go to my sleeping quarters..."  
  
"I think I'll stick with that idea, thanks. But I don't think I'll need any help, all we need now if something to store all the monsters files on, like a huge floppy disk or something, because then all we'll have to do is slip it into the computer, I think it works for Voot cruisers too, anyway, and the creature will be created. And after their done being used, we can just take the disk out and its all reversed, the creature is broken back down and its parts stored back onto the disk. Man, I'm so boring! I hate myself when I'm all smart.and stuff." Ari added.  
  
"No, as long as you actually make sense its ok. I can't STAND those-people- at school who think they know everything! It makes me want to-" Zim smashed his fist into the wall of wires and electronics, causing the screen with the monsters to black out. "D'oh!" said Zim as he blushed a lighter shade of green. "I sort of...lose my 'temper' as you humans call it."  
  
"No Zim...that's ok. Why don't you go try and find something that we can store the files on, ok?"  
  
Zim's lowered antennae flew back to where they belonged as he finally felt like he was actually part of this mission after all. Lately he had noticed Ari was doing a lot of the work by herself, Zim admired this in humans, they called it "determination" he believed.  
  
Zim turned and walked off towards the elevator with a slight bounce in his step. Ari smiled when she saw this and laughed to herself. "He's sort of cute when he walks like that." Ari realized what she was thinking and slapped herself before beginning to repair the heavy damage done to the computer wall.  
  
--------------~Back at the Massive, the Tallest's fits of laughter had subsided~---------------  
  
"Red, what would happen if Zim actually conquered Earth?" Purple asked as an irken servant girl gave him a fresh plate of snacks  
  
"The apocalypse would come, why?" came the remark from Red.  
  
"No Red, really. If Zim actually did conquer Earth, what would he do then?"  
  
Red's eyes widened with realization. "He, he'd come back to Irk for a celebration! Oh no, who knows what damage he could do this time!? We're still suffering from Horrible Painful Overload Day two!" Both the Irkens bowed their heads for a second or two, in memory of all the lost smeets that never were programmed with an I.D. Number, which meant they never would be able to go into the Irken Database, therefore legally didn't exist. Many smeets that didn't have an I.D. Number had to be killed that day...All because of Zim.  
  
Suddenly, the two deep red eyes lit up on the face of Almighty Tallest Red, a vicious gleam shone shining off of his eyes.  
  
"Hey wait, what if Zim never conquers Earth? What if we...do something... To prevent him from screwing up anything of ours any longer?" said Red with an evil hint to his voice.  
  
"Of course! We'll neuter him!" exclaimed Purple loudly. The guards outside the Tallest's door opened their eyes before making a mad run towards the nearest exit.  
  
"Um...no. I meant assassinate him." Red said as he gave Purple a wry look.  
  
"Oh. Um...Can we neuter him anyway?" Purple smiled cheekily.  
  
"Your mind must be a horribly scary place."  
  
"You know, I think their putting stuff in these new Cheese crunchies, they're really addictive! Whoa, since when did we have a rug on the ceiling???" said Purple, his eyes twitching as he looked above at the overhead window of the Massive.  
  
"Purple! Stop getting high on cheese crunchies and help me think of something!" Red said through gritted teeth. He massaged his temples until Purple's drowsy voice broke his concentration once more.  
  
"Why don't you hire some pretty girls...they can make your troubles go away in an iiiinstant-" Purples speech was cut off as he tipped backwards and keeled over onto the floor.  
  
"Purple you son of a-Hey wait! I know what to do!" said Red, grinning evilly. "What a convenient way to meet up with Jaz..." He dialed a number on an Irken Phone thingy and said "Mission Bay, contact Invader Jaz for me, I.D Number 8642, locate immediately."  
  
A voice responded on the other end, "Tallest Red, is this one of those 'Pleasure Calls?' Because you know that's against Tallest Leadership rule-"  
  
"Damnit! I only wanted to see Jaz ok!"  
  
"Naked?"  
  
"NO! Well.maybe later but, hey wait a minute!, STOP THAT!" Red's furious cry echoed through the halls. "Oh shi*!!!" He thought to himself realizing he was on the intercom.  
  
Purple opened his eyes and got up. Shaking off the effects of the evil snack he looked at the unhappy Tallest Red and asked,  
  
"Hey Red, why was I passed out on the floor just-Hey! Cheese Crunchies!"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
A sketch of a an Irken girl wandered around Ari's notebook. She wore little barrettes on the base of her antennae, and an odd Irken uniform. Ari didn't notice Gir pop up behind her and ask, "Whasat?"  
  
"This? This Gir, is what I wish I could be. An Irken, like Zim, except a girl of course." Ari laughed, it struck her as odd. She couldn't even remember laughing when she was actually happy. But why was she happy? She was helping plot the downfall of her home planet and she was actually truly happy?  
  
"I guess that's what makes me different Gir."  
  
"I know what you meaaaan." the android said, drawing out the last word.  
  
"No Gir...No you don't. But I'll pretend you do anyway."  
  
"Will you take me to the store in your pouch ta get a brainfreeeeeezy?" he asked in what appeared to be bad persuasion.  
  
Ari tapped her pencil on her notebook for a second thinking about it.  
  
"Sure Gir, lets both go get brainfreezies. Except, keep yours away from my face this time." she smiled.  
  
Ari typed a note down to Zim who had finished the repairs on the damaged comuter screen. The words scrolled across the screen. "Going to store with Gir to get Brainfreezy. Want to come?"  
  
A gloved black hand typed two letters and ran to the elevator in what seemed like excitement.  
  
"Ok."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
A tall female Irken stood in front of the door leading into the Tallest main transmission room. She smoothed her antennae straight and walked through the doors. An alarm sounded, obviously reacting to the two thieves knives and her trusted energy sword. Before soldiers could come to the Tallest aid, Jaz whipped out a knife in each hand and sliced them into the door sides. She dragged them quickly downwards and hit the alarm which was silenced immediately.  
  
"Jaz, you haven't changed much since I last saw you." Red smiled as he opened his arms in a sort of welcoming gesture.  
  
With unnatural ease Jaz put the knives back where they belonged and walked towards Red.  
  
"Good to see you too, I don't think I could say the same though. First you were a hopeless mind in the Academy, now your...Well actually now that I think of it, no not much has changed at all." she said jokingly, her dark blue eyes narrowed playfully.  
  
Purple had gone off into his own world again, random comments could be heard from where he was sitting, but they did their best to ignore him.  
  
"So, you the rough type of the sissy type?" Asked Purple, obviously unaware that he had just doomed himself.  
  
His comment was met with a sharp punch from Jaz.  
  
"Temper Temper...Whoppeeee!" said Purple as he sank down to his knees and was soon knocked out.  
  
If Red wasn't there to hold the black and gold clothed Irken she may have finished him off, but being tallest is unbearable if your alone. Who would make fun of Zim with him if Purple was dead?  
  
"Ahem...Now, what did you want me here for My Tallest?" asked Jaz with a smirk.  
  
"Oh I have a very special mission for you Jaz, top secret...But it involves you-". 


	5. The Alien Sleep Cuffs Return

Authors Note: Sorry for the retarded chapter 5, I screwed up something when I was uploading number 4 and did it twice so I needed something to replace it with. Um, yeah, any Disclaimers will be end of the story, so you can't sue me unless you read it! MUAWHAHAHAH! Um, or you could just go to the last chapter..Back to the story I suppose.  
  
----------------------------Once again, we find the Tallest back at their ship-------------------------  
  
"YOU WANT ME TO WHAT?" screeched Jaz, making the tallest cower. Despite the fact she was 6 Earth inches shorter than her leaders, she was very intimidating at times.  
  
Red put his hands behind his back and gave Jaz a sad puppy dog look, his eyes becoming glassy.  
  
"That didn't work before and its not going to work now." came the response from Jaz.  
  
"Damn, it always worked on everyone else..." he said quietly to himself. "Come on Jaz, please? You know what damages Zim could do if he came back to Irk!" As red went on about how much trouble Zim caused, Jaz pulled put a snack and began munching on it quietly.  
  
"Why didn't you just send him to a sun or a planet of broken glass or something?"  
  
"HAH! I TOLD YOU RED! I TOLLLLLLLLLD YOU!"  
  
"I didn't think he'd ACTUALLY find a planet! I thought it was just another black hole or something!" said Red embarrassedly as he shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"But what's in it for me? Sure a mission, but I really don't think being an assassin is that great, I mean violence is good for the soul I don't have and all but.."Jaz said coyly, knowing she could manipulate Red like she always did.  
  
"Um..pick something."  
  
"Annnything?" grinned the evil Irken as she exchanged a look with Red.  
  
Red smiled embarrassedly as he put a hand behind his forehead (lol, anime poses).  
  
"Well, not anything.. " he said. Purple raised an eyebrow as the Cheese Crunchies lost their effect once more. (He had eaten 4 bags of them so far) Purple guessed their was something more by what they meant.."  
  
"Rats." came the reply from Jaz. "Well then, I'll just have to settle for a new customized Imperial Voot Cruiser then. Red was about to object but kept his mouth shut instead.  
  
"Have my ship ready for me in 8 krangs tops Red, 8."  
  
Purple ticked off the numbers on his two fingers, "But that's about 56 earth days! We can't make you a flying suite in-"  
  
"8 krangs, no more, no less." and with that Jaz left through the newly fixed doors, the alarm going off once more, but that was soon silenced once more.  
  
"I don't see why you like her so much." voiced Purple as he stared pathetically at Red who gazed through the doors, hoping to catch a last glimpse of Jaz.  
  
"Go shove a cheese crunchy up your- wait, never mind, you might take that too literally." Red smiled like the jackass he was as he dodged a punch from Purple.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
"Bright white bubbly clouds, not a care in the world, flying high up in the sky where nothing can affect them at all.." Ari gazed peacefully up at the light blue sky as she laid on Zim's oddly shaped rooftop. "That cloud looks like Zim." she said lazily as a cloud rolled by with what looked like antennae.  
  
It had been about 2 months now since Ari and Zim had been working, due to Gir. He had "accidentally" played dollhouse with Pig inside the wires of the main computer. Then the pig spontaneously caught on fire and ripped out some of the computer memory cords. Zim was cursing for weeks about that one.  
  
Ari laughed to herself, realizing how much Zim had affected her life when none other than Zim himself popped his head up through the roof top door.  
  
"Hey Ari, I managed to hook up a fail safe system, Gir won't be able to screw up our stuff anymore."  
  
"There is no such thing as a fail-safe system Zim, always remember that." replied Ari as Zim closed the roof door and sat down next to her.  
  
"I guess your right when you have Gir for a Sir..So why are you up here?"  
  
"No reason, I'm just looking at the clouds and thinking about stuff. Its called taking a break." she added playfully. Zim had been working himself really hard for the past week and she was a little worried about him.  
  
"I see. I feel weird, just sitting here and doing ..nothing though."  
  
"That too has a name Zim, we call it laziness." a smile came over Ari's face. Zim, who knew so much about technology and important things neglected the things that humans considered necessary for everyday life. It was funny to think about, and made Ari appreciate Zim even more.  
  
"What's it like up there Zim?"  
  
"Up where?" Zim had laid down now and was joining Ari in sky gazing.  
  
"Up in space. What's it like?"  
  
A faint sigh issued from Zim. "Its pretty 'cool' as you humans say. And your theory on Black holes is wrong, you don't get crushed if you build the right kind of ship. They actually can be made into transporters, in case you need to get somewhere really fast or something. But other than that you've got it right."  
  
"Will you take me to space Zim?" asked Ari, her tan cheeks getting a slight hint of pink.  
  
Zim's face blushed as well, although with a dark emerald color. 'Uh, sure if you want to sometime I guess. I keep forgetting humans buy themselves cars and don't buy themselves rockets."  
  
"Don't ask me Zim, I'll never understand my own kind. I'm going to go take Gir for a walk, he's being unusually silent and nothing has blown up for a while, are you coming?" Ari stood up and opened the rooftop hatch.  
  
"I'll be down in a second."  
  
Ari disappeared from sight as Zim took one more glance at the sky to see a bright blue flash sparkle in the sky far off. He shrugged and went down to join Ari.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
"Umi! GET AWAY FROM THE CONTROLS, YOUR GOING TO CRASH US!" screamed an agitated Jaz as her cousin maniacally gripped the control lever. The ship sped past Saturn, diving in and out of its rings. Ember read Jaz's emotions and the gold plated Sir leapt for the emergency shutdown button. Immediately the ship lurched to a stop as Umi, Jaz, and their two sirs Ember and Biz were flung forwards.  
  
"Control Shutdown, lock up procedure in place!" came the ships voice.  
  
"Umi, what have you done! Why did you switch it to lock down! Now we're locked inside, and the only way to fix it is, wait, I'll let you guess!"  
  
"To feed it to the SLORBIES! HEHEHEHEH!" the insane Irken screamed happily. Umi. He was insane in real life, that Jaz knew. He had been locked in a freezing room and lost 50% of his brain cells, while the rest of them went insane. Biz was nothing like Umi, thank the tallest..Biz was actually very obedient surprisingly enough since Umi was its owner. Jaz could feel Ember's eyes staring at her from behind.  
  
Jaz turned to face the black and gold Sir unit designed for her a long time ago. The large golden Z on its forehead and two slicked back antennae were special requests though.  
  
Jaz stomped her foot down as she glared into Umi's crazed cyan blue and silver eyes. Jaz's dark blue (narrow by birth) eyes narrowed even more as her temper she supposedly didn't have breached.  
  
"Great Umi, we're stuck halfway to Earth, I'm STILL sick from that black hole, and now we're locked aboard our own ship. The only way for us to get the power back online is-"  
  
"WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO EAT OUR OWN FEET!" screeched Umi as he cackled insanely with Biz by his side.  
  
"What, you want to eat each others?" she retorted, her voice dripping sarcasm. Umi took no notice and began running around the room like a bird, his arms outstretched as he cried, "Ca-caw! Ca-caw!"  
  
Jaz sighed, rubbing here forehead where her dark sapphire jewel sat in the middle of a headband. It kept her in one form, Irken. Naturally she was a shape shifter, but few knew that and she intended to keep it that way.  
  
-------------------------------------------Back at the Massive-------------- -------------------------  
  
Purple stared into space (literally) as Red flipped through the pages of an Irken Playboy type magazine. Purple glanced over and noticed this due to Red's murmurs.  
  
"What on Blorch are you muttering about? I mean, if your gonna look at porn, at least do it somewhere else!" cried out Purple in exaggeration.  
  
"Pffft, please! They call that beauty??? Jaz is 10 times prettier than these wannabes! And that's with her clothes ON!"  
  
Purple's eye twitched. Not wanting to know how Red knew that, he kept trying to persuade Red put down the magazine.  
  
"What if Zim came on right now or something?" Purple sighed, seeing Red wasn't listening. "Ok, what if JAZ came on right now?"  
  
Red's antennae twitched when he heard her name. He gasped, "She'd be jealous I bet! She'd probably think she wasn't good enough for me, and I'd had to resort to pathetic Irken model skanks! Waiitt, this is JAZ I'm talking about, she wouldn't be jealous!"  
  
"She wouldn't?" said a surprised Purple.  
  
"Naww, she'd be beating me into a bloody Irken pulp. But I'd be a good Irken pulp if beaten by Jaz."  
  
"That is the most pathetic thing I have ever heard from your mouth." replied Purple in an undertone.  
  
----------------------------Back to Zimmy goodness-------------------------- ----------------------  
  
Ari kicked her legs back and forth as she sat alone on the bench in the park. Gir ran around stuffing Squirrels into his mouth, but he could only hold about 4 so they all escaped eventually, then the game would begin again. (Bonus points for small children and bunnies)  
  
Ari drew out her sword and drew funny pictures in the dirt below her. One was of a big headed Dib, another was Gir with a tail sticking out of his mouth, and another was Zim and Ari just standing there. Gir ran over and drew a heart in between them when she wasn't looking though.  
  
Ari smiled, the thought of her liking someone else was laughable..Or was it? She had grown really attached to Zim, and as she had said before was loyal. "Like a dog!" her mind said viciously. "Stupid brain." she thought back to herself, realizing she was quite crazy looking.  
  
Ari anxiously looked for Zim. "Really, he goes off to buy brainfreezies and never comes back!" Ari told Gir to stay in the park as she went off to find Zim. Somewhere in the back of her mind a sinister voice echoed, "Maybe he was found out" "And their operating on him right now!" "Or he left you and went to destroy the world by himself, you were only a tool!" Actually, the last one didn't really bother Ari, seeing as how that's how humans treated others, so why shouldn't aliens return their own favor?  
  
As she turned a corner, she saw a shadow followed by faint maniacal laughter. It sounded very familiar..She started running down the curvy alleyways, trying to figure out where it was coming from, but it echoed off the walls and made it nearly impossible to trace back to its original spot!  
  
"Stay away from me earth beast!" spat Zim as he backed up. Dib had corned him and he knew it. Zim's gloved hands felt hard brick wall behind him. Dib twirled a brand new fancier looking set of Alien Sleep Cuffs on his finger.  
  
"Its about time Zim, no Gir to save you now, its impossible. Just surrender, it'll make everything a lot easier." Dib smiled a hideously creepy smile. Ari whirled around more corners, the voices where getting clearer.  
  
"Never!"  
  
Zim's response was met with Dib's fist, Zim stumbled backwards and hit the wall exposing his hands. Dib struck, the cuffs latched over Zim's wrists as a violent wave of energy ran through Zim's body. His I.D. Pak blinked for a moment but nothing else happened.  
  
"Stay away from Ari.." Zim's voice was barely a whisper as he sank to his knees and fell to the ground. Dib smiled, amazed that he had finally caught Zim, He had done it! Until he heard an enraged hissing like a cat behind him.  
  
He turned to face Ari's sword tip to his neck. 


	6. Bubblegum and Cookiedough

Authors Note: Sorry bout the lateness, I just started high school and the workload is awful! Pity me! Wait, I NEED NO PITY! Hmm, if I had a laptop ::hint hint Mom:: I could work on my story during all my free periods that I seem to have so many of lol. Ah well, their might be a bit of a longer wait. And my fan art thing SHOULD be up by now, so go check it out if you suffer from boredom! And, I don't own Zim, its all Jhonen's, he's crazy and I love him! (Not as much as Zim though..) Oops, I started ranting again. BACK TO THE STORY NOW!  
  
Dib's eyes widened in shock as Ari's ragged breathing grew steadier, the sword point quivering under his jugular vein. One quick slash and it would be all over for Dib.  
  
"Ari? Ari, look! I caught Zi-"he said excitedly, not realizing the look on Ari's shadowed face. He tried to maneuver his neck away from the blade while talking, but Ari shoved it back into place, its cold metal tip a hair away from his neck now.  
  
"What did you do to him!" her voice deadly quiet, suppressing the rage that burned within her.  
  
"What do you mean? I caught him! Earth is safe-" he continued on, oblivious to the danger his neck was in all the while.  
  
"What's that on his wrists." she nodded towards the blinking lights on the Sleep Cuffs.  
  
Dib slowly turned his head to glance at Zim. "They're Alien Sleep cuffs, but that's not important-"  
  
"Shut your filthy mouth Dib." she spat, the sword blade rose right between his eyes. "Now take those things off of him."  
  
"Wha?" What do you mean.. Take them off? But, he'll.." he trailed off when he stared deep into her eyes as she now stepped into the small patch of light. Her eyes shone furiously with an odd expression on her face, like hatred and determination mixed with something else.  
  
"You want me to let him go!?" it took him a while, but the message her eyes showed could be none other. More silence from Ari. "Why? Why would you want me to do that? You know he'll just go on and destroy all of mankind!"  
  
"Heh, mankind?" her voice filled with spite and hatred. "What has your precious mankind ever done for you Dib? Why do you try so hard to save this planet and protect us all, yet only in return we taunt you, deny you your rights, and call you insane. This world isn't worth saving Dib, give it up."  
  
"What ARE you talking about Ari? This is the fate of the world in our hands! Your asking me to doom the entire human race by letting him go! Why would I do that Ari!?" he said, confusion omnipotent in his voice.  
  
"Why. That's all humans and mankind ever ask isn't it? Why can't you just be happy knowing your alive? That your purpose in life is to survive and survive alone? We humans are so damn full of ourselves we're bound to end up killing us all off eventually, why prolong the suffering of millions? As we speak, hundreds of people are dying, why aren't you saving them Dib, really Zim's doing us all a favor.. Just let him go Zim go Dib, I don't have the time, or the patience," she added with a snarl, " to explain it all to you."  
  
"And if I refuse?" His dark brown eyes shone fiercely, the sword gleamed as the sun shifted and a cloud moved from its path.  
  
The two slits on Ari's face that were eyes narrowed more as she said simply, "Then I cut your throat. Understand?"  
  
-----------------------------------Back at the Park------------------------- --------------------------  
  
Gir looked around, dragging three squirrels by their bushy tails, looking desperately for Ari and Zim.  
  
"Awww, kang'roo an' master wen away on da' honeymoon.. . .I'S GONNA BE DA BABY! EEEEHEHEHE!" He screamed as his jets from his oddly shaped legs turned on. Luckily, no one was around to notice the small green dog propelling himself out of the park.  
  
A few minutes of him flying around in a giant circle went by until his jets went out. He glanced anxiously around, temporarily wishing he hadn't dumped it on the ground to make a swimming hole for the worms earlier that day. But his problem was soon solved as he spied a half full cup of Cookie-dough bubblegum Brainfreezy lying in the trash nearby.  
  
Gir stuck out his tongue cutely as he had trouble shoving the slow moving syrupy "liquid" into his legs. It merged with his remaining fuel, creating a horrible dark brownish-black blob type substance. He giggled insanely as he poked it once and flipped the metallic lids back over the bottoms of his feet. He paused for a moment as he prepared for takeoff as his jets warmed up. Suddenly, the small green dog flew up into the air before promptly exploding.  
  
Peoples heads appeared from windows and doorways as they stared into the sky, as a tiny green something plummeted down back towards the ground at an odd angle.  
  
"Ooooooooo! Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Said the crowds they watched the clueless Gir explode repetitively in the air, his metal body limp from the explosions in his legs.  
  
Soon, he was out of sight, the last explosion sent him hurtling down the street, barely 8 inches from the ground as he glided helplessly through the air. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he faintly screamed into the distance.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
"No! I'll never let him go Ari, and soon, he won't even care, can't you see his I.D. Pak is damaged? Those weren't the old types of Cuffs, they've been improved, now they can be programmed to whatever setting I like Ari, and its all controlled by me."  
  
Ari's eyes widened as Dib slyly smiled and stepped backwards as he withdrew from his pocket a small black controller. He twisted a knob to the right on it, Zim's eyes fluttered.  
  
"Whoops, wrong setting, I almost turned them off!" he said maliciously, an evil grin slowly spreading over his face. "But I wouldn't have wanted to do that now would I?" he said maliciously, taking pleasure in Ari's anger. He turned the knob in the opposite direction and Zim's I.D. Pak shuddered. He kept turning until a small explosion issued from Zim, part of his Pak seemed to have burst open, exposing Zim's green flesh with a mass of burnt smelling wires. Dib turned his head away to glance at what caused the noise, big mistake.  
  
It happened too fast to be seen by human eyes, or at least someone with glasses, soon Dib was pinned to the ground, the controller lay discarded in a dark corner of the alley. She pinned Dib down to the dirty ground, one hand around his neck while the other pressed the swords blade across his neck under her hand. Dib choked, his only air supply being cut off by the unusually firm grip from Ari.  
  
"I warned you Dib! I gave you a fair chance! I never wanted to do this, but I guess I have to, and once your out of the way, NOTHING will stop Zim from reigning supreme over us all!" Her voice slowly rising from a whisper to a roar.  
  
"Your insane!" he gasped with what should have been his last breath.  
  
She leaned close to his ear, and with a clear whisper she said, "I'm not insane, I'm just misunderstood." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
The green dog costume ripped and flew off of him a few minutes into his flight, exposing the now black, white, and blue robot. Gir hit with a thud, his airborne time had finally ended as he crashed into he side of a building. His antennae snapped with a sickening crunch on impact and his left eye was totally static, not to mention both the bottoms of his feet where malfunctioning. He watched his foot sadly as it smoldered, a light blue tear leaking from the androids eye.  
  
"My leggy is broked.. They's gonna throw me out!" he thought to himself. His irken technology came in handy though and his damage repair system was still online. He glanced at his blackened feet to see that they were slowly becoming a glossy metallic white again. His left camera that substituted as an eye recorded everything he saw onto his memory, a backup eye for him.  
  
He slowly struggled out of the bush and realized he was missing a hand. Ignoring this he attempted to skip happily down the dark path that wound behind the buildings.  
  
He paused as he heard a faint peeping noise. He followed it down another path between more houses and found a big row of bushes. Sticking his tongue out happily he squeezed into one of them to find a nest of baby birds. Gir placed the wildly squeaking next of birds on top of his head until the mother bird came into view. She hissed or..something and proceeded to attack the little android. He screamed and dropped the nest, the angry mother pecking his damaged eye. Gir wedged himself through a fence on the other side of the bushes and popped out, escaping the mad bird.  
  
A low humming noise sounded as he tried to locate himself. His front pocket on his chest flew open to reveal a scale, with the words "Power Low" in Irken on the side the arrow was on. His legs gave out a few steps more as the robot collapsed onto the cold ground, his face peering around the corner, he had been unable to make it around, And only if he had, how it would have mattered.  
  
His eyes grew black, except for the static one, it stared blankly around the corner as the video camera rolled on.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
Ari could see Dib getting ready to kick her but it was too late, his legs met full force with her stomach, she flew off of him and into the wall behind her. Her body temporarily going limp as she slid down to the ground. Dib look a bit surprised, he was breathing hard and nervous looking.  
  
Ari's eyes ripped open, her dark blue eyes shone from the darkness eerily. She slowly got up, but when she reached for her sword, she paused.  
  
"No, I think I'll make this a fair fight after all." she said quietly to herself, although it was made clear that Dib heard as he cocked an eyebrow. She picked up her sword and threw it to Dib, who gasped and fumbled with the handle. She reached down to her shoe and grabbed a dagger. Its slightly curved edge making a sinister sight.  
  
There was an odd silence as Dib looked wildly around for an escape from her, she was obviously insane! What kind of a weirdo carries TWO weapons around with them, nonetheless one?  
  
"Sorry Ari, but I don't hit girls."  
  
"Neither do I, but this is can be an exception."  
  
Metal on metal clanged as Ari charged, her dagger met by her sword, knowing she was on the lesser end of winning but she had the skills to make up for it. She whirled around Dib, coming up from behind him in the shadows, another clang of metal, clash clang clang rang out from the alley.  
  
Dib stopped and threw down the sword, Ari stopped, her lunge interrupted. She smiled in response.  
  
"No weapons? Fine by me, but I had hoped you weren't that type.."  
  
Ari was thrown backwards as she was met with a sharp blow to the face. "That would be a bruise" she though subconsciously as she returned the favor to Dib, a smash of glass was heard as his glasses shattered outwards, one of the shards hit Ari under her left eye, others inflicting smaller wounds as they went.  
  
Dib held up a hand to his eye to check if it was bleeding. Ari pushed him back a step before giving him a nice uppercut. Soon Ari and Dib were an entangled mass of arms and legs. Hatred kept Ari going, as she fought for the destruction of the human race, and Dib fought to save it.  
  
Punches and kicks flew as the two tried as best as they could. Ari had pinned Dib down once again and smiled. Dib glanced anxiously around, spying a large stray shard of glass, he grabbed it and dragged it across Ari's collarbone.  
  
She took off her hands from his shoulders to check her freely bleeding collarbone. Dib broke free and scrambled up, his eyes glancing to Zim and the controller across the alley. He made a dash for it, but Ari leapt for his legs. He fell as Ari clutched onto his boots. Leather boot collided with Ari's nose as Dib lashed out with his foot.  
  
This just kept Ari going more, she struggled to her feet and ran to the small controller. Dib reached it first though. He grabbed it, but before anything could be done, Ari had her arm around his neck, slowly she tightened as she hissed "Give it to me Dib."  
  
"Ga-ack! No, never!" he struggled to say it as her elbow flexed, cutting off more of his air supply. His hands twitched convulsively.  
  
"You wouldn't- wouldn't kill your own flesh and blood would you?" he said, his air supply running out rapidly.  
  
Ari's grip loosened slightly. "What the hell do you mean that by!?" She said, confusion slipping into her voice.  
  
Dibs eyes widened, Ari had never seen Dib so surprised before. "How could you not know this entire time? My dad, he got married last week, and now your.. your my step-sister."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Sorry, its so predictable, and lame and all that crap but eh, if anyone knows html for bolding and italicizing and stuff, PLEASE tell me! I think all the bolded stuff is capitalized.eh, crap. 


	7. Shattered glasses, shattered dreams

Authors note: Yes, yes, I know I know, this story continues to grow ever crappier and more and more predictable, but action and fighting is always good lol. Lalalala, lets see, I'm ranting again. Um.Oh yeah, my fan quarter account it up! Yay for me! I'm also thinking of getting an account at side7 too, because so many people seem to have accounts there. Wooo! I'm listening to the ZIMPHONY! Back to the crap!  
  
------------------------------In some dark nasty alley---------------------- -------------------------  
  
"What?! How in hell does your father getting married have ANYTHING to do with me?? TELL ME!" she barked as Dib looked away for a moment, she jabbed him with her hand to get his attention.  
  
"Agh! My spleen!" he cried.  
  
Shoving him backwards into a brick house enforced corner, Ari advanced on him, taking a quick glance at Zim as she went.  
  
"My dad got married to some scientist at the lab, named Crystal Jones! That's your mom. Don't you even know what's going on in your life???" he said, panicky yet confused.  
  
Ari looked around, trying to keep the sneer on her face. (as the story goes nowhere, the plot worsens.. boohoo I suck, back to the story!) She had to end this soon, but her code went against killing relations, even if they weren't direct ones. Ari grimaced and gritted her teeth together as she shifted her sword in her free yet damaged hand. After a moment of awkward silence she spoke;  
  
"Listen to me Dib, I'm not like you, and I never will be, I would be better off just being left alone, if this bullshit your saying about us being siblings is true, then I advise you to stay out my way, not that this is going to affect me, just a fair warning, and besides, you'd be MUCH easier to kill in your sleep.."  
  
"You need help Ari! You're a homicidal killer! Listen to yourself for gods sake! This is crazy!" he ferociously spat. He thought Ari needed help, and soon. "I can help you-" said Dib before Ari struck.  
  
She pushed him forwards into the wall and whirled her sword blade around. The sword handle came to Dibs skull with a horrid deep "thunk", not enough to break anything important, just to get him out for a few moments.  
  
Ari curled a lip and answered the soon to be out Dib. "No Dib, you can't." she shook her head slowly as she grabbed the controller, her hand bleeding profusely where she had wrapped the sword blade in her sleeve. (To knock out dib with the handle.) A small clicking noise was heard as the sleep cuffs detached themselves, Ari turned the controller to the off position, then crushed it with her foot.  
  
Frantically rolling Zim's seemingly lifeless body over, her eyes began to water for no apparent reason. Angrily brushing the tears away she pressed the switch on Zim's ID Pak to reactivate. His ID Pak shuddered and sparked, a voice issued from its electrical mess.  
  
"ID Pak damaged, reactivation sequence damaged, auto repair malfunction!"  
  
Swallowing the lump in her throat at these words, Ari sheathed her sword and struggled to lift Zim's body up. She held his gloved hand around her neck and slowly moved forwards. The sun would be setting soon, and Dib would wake up in less than an hour. Ari's eye had swollen, a black ring forming around the outside.  
  
"Stupid punching Dib, stupid pain, stupid-OW!" Screeched Ari, her muttering interrupted as her foot hit something hard and cold. She glanced down menacingly, but her expression changed drastically when she saw what she had kicked.  
  
------------------------------------Back on the finally functioning ship---- -----------------------------------  
  
Jaz glanced around the ship. Everything was quiet.. Too quiet. "Umi!" Jaz's resounding yell echoed off the many hallways of her new ship. Soon, a horrible blob shaped THING ran into the room where Jaz was with Umi following after it.  
  
"No Biz! You'll upset the mighty Mushrooms! Stand still while I chew you free!" yelled the insane Irken as he made a mad leap for Biz's head. The tiny crimson and black robot slowly disappeared into the gooey dough-like substance that was soon taking over the room. Jaz's eye twitched.  
  
"UMI!? What have I TOLD YOU ABOUT MAKING OFFERINGS TO THE MUFFIN GOD-" her voice was drowned out as the creation swept over her.  
  
"Aghhh!" she screeched as she found herself inside the blob, it appeared to be hollow or something. . .  
  
"Umi, do you know what face I'm making?"  
  
"Ummmmm, lemme see." Umi squinted his eyes into Jaz's and stared into her narrow royal blue eyes for a few moments.  
  
"Oh, I remember now, that's the face when I do..something...bad." he slowed his words down as he understood. "Ohhhhh, I guess you want me to explain then." he said cheekily.  
  
He was met with an icy glare.  
  
Giving Jaz a lopsided smile, he hurriedly explained. "Well, me and Biz were making cupcakes and I told Biz to put the yeast in and we put too much cuz I tripped and fell over and all the yeast fell out of the packet into the bowl so we thought it would just make them more fluffy so I sorta crammed it all into the easy bake oven I put in Biz's head a few months ago and then we started baking it but it all went horribly wrong, oh so horribly wrong!" he said quickly, cringing playfully under the glare of Jaz.  
  
"Umi you-never mind, just help me figure out how to get out of here." Jaz said, she'd never be able to force any sense into Umi, she glanced over at him again, he was burrowing in the squishy prison floor.  
  
Jaz grabbed his thin green tail that poked out from under his shirt. With surprising strength, Jaz lifted him up. If YOU had a tail, and someone lifted YOU up from it, its like someone giving you a wedgie and hanging you from a pole on the Eiffel tower. Umi squealed oddly like pig before hissing dramatically and snatching Jaz's headband off.  
  
"AHHHHH!" Jaz exclaimed, without her band she turned into her original form, a Jaz sized female fox. Her white furry lips curled as she snatched the gem back, making a wry face at Umi who returned the favor with a raspberry. Jaz fiddled with the jewel for a bit before placing it on her head.  
  
"If you weren't my cousin, I would take your squeedily spooch-" she began, only to be cut off by Umi once more.  
  
"NOT BY THE HAIRS OF MY CHINNY CHIN CHIN!" he laughed manically before disappearing into the thick foamy dough walls.  
  
Sighing, Jaz quickly made sure she was Irken again before using her I.D. Pak's spider legs like a machete to escape. After a few horrible moments in the dough creation, (her foot got stuck and sucked off her boot, a string of Irken curse followed shortly after that) her spider-legs snapped through the now stretchy skin of the gooey blob.. thing.  
  
Seeing another hole nearby, she assumed Umi and Biz had escaped as well. Slowly edging out of the room, she locked the doors shut to trap the still growing cupcake monster-like creation.  
  
"Ember!"  
  
A gold and black Sir unit flew through the halls to her master. She saluted, her robotic hand grazed the Z? mark on her forehead. The Sir's two antennae stuck straight backwards and pointed down, the slightly smaller than average mute Sir smiled .  
  
"Ember, begin creation of a new boot, you know, the kinda I like, black, knee high with the gold band around the top? Thanks." she said, patting the mute Sir on the head gratefully as Ember began working on it.  
  
Jaz lopsidedly walked into the control screen room and flopped onto the black couch, her light green foot exposed. She shivered and pulled up a blanket. She was deciding whether or not to watch a movie when Tallest Red came onto the screen behind her.  
  
His eyes widened as he saw her laying on the couch, tapping her barefoot back and forth. (In the Irken language, taking off your boots was similar to taking off your shirt for Humans)  
  
Red thought to himself, "Damn, if only I was there instead of here! Jaz-so- tempting.. But Tallest law states that the tallest can't go anywhere without another individual for protection! Hmmm.." Jaz didn't see Red as he snuck off the screen and it went blank again.  
  
Purple sat on a large couch in his room reading, light music playing in the background. His antennae flew upwards as he heard the doorknob turn. Luckily, he had it locked. Soon, a small explosion followed as the door was blown off its hinges. Red stood in the middle of doorway, dark red smoke rising from the doorframe. A creepy smile was plastered onto Red's face as he slowly advanced on Purple with a Gun in one hand and a rope in the other. . . . .  
  
-------------------------------Back at Zim's house-------------------------- ------------------------  
  
Ari had just begun to get over the shock of seeing the shattered Gir at her foot in the dark alley, who knows what he had done to damaged himself, all she knew was that he wasn't functioning and she had to get to Zim's house immediately. The agonizing pain that seared up her body from the fight with Dib was taking its toll on Ari's body, her muscles tensed up, some bloodied body parts her and there, but she couldn't stop, if she did, it would mean the end for all of them if they were found.  
  
Finally, after an hour of painstakingly slow progress, Ari trudged through the purple "Men's Room" labeled door of Zim's house. She took the elevator downstairs as she placed Zim's body on a floating stretched like device that came from the ceiling. She stepped into the lab and announced;  
  
"Computer! Quickly, uh, analyze damage done to Zim's ID Pak and begin repairs!"  
  
"Memory chip and Arm and legs control station damaged" came the electronic reply.  
  
"Then fix it!"  
  
"Miss Ari, I have not been programmed to fix Irkens, only machines!"  
  
"What's that mean??? You can't fix him?" Ari started spazzing out. Her entire life depended on the survival of Zim. . .  
  
"No, but I do know the process of building an ID Pak. Would that help?"  
  
Ari sighed. "Yes, yes it would, Display image of Regular ID Pak on screen!  
  
A complicated picture of an Irken ID Pak was shown on the screen, wires that connected into tiny chips, and masses of alien looking creations littered the screen. Ari gasped.  
  
"Ok..Computer, run a scan and highlight all damaged areas of Zim's Pak!"  
  
Ari stood motionless as she watched a bar come down from the ceiling of wires and slowly move over the lifeless looking body of Zim as he lay on an a long table-like bed. (For experimenting on humans most likely). Ari jumped as the computer loudly announced. "Body Scan of Subject Zim completed, showing results!"  
  
Ari swallowed her fears, it was up to her she supposed. Zim hadn't explained much about the Irken ID Pak construction or any of that, but the images would be good enough, she would just need to reattach and melt some wires back together, make that a lot of wires, and then fix the chip that had overloaded, causing the explosion in the first place. . .  
  
"Stupid Dib, once I get my hands on him. . ."  
  
-------------------------------------Speaking of Dib------------------------ ------------------------------------  
  
Dib's eyes twitched, he slowly opened them, the glass pieces that remained on the rim of his shattered eyewear broke away from the left frame, leaving him to use only one eye to guide himself back home.  
  
How degrading, he had been beaten up by a girl. . .Well, asides from Gaz, he had been beaten up by a normal average girl. . .But that wasn't right, Ari wasn't normal, as he had learned the hard way, she was different, and not in a way he had hoped her to be. The thing that surprised him most was her lack of knowledge about the marriage, it had been a few weeks now, hadn't she been told? He hadn't been talking to her in a while, figuring she was still getting used to the idea that they were now siblings. . .  
  
He wondered if she had just ignored everything, and pretended it didn't happen. But something struck him as odd, something his dad had said when talking on the phone with Crystal.  
  
"Hmmm, your daughter hasn't been seen around your house for over 2 months now? Hmm, very odd, must be a teenage hormone thing, anyway about that new chemical we were testing out-"  
  
Dib had zoned out after that. He was suddenly struck with the answer. Why had Ari always refused to help him after meeting Zim? Why had she stopped taking the bus to her house? Why did she almost completely change from the first impression she gave to everyone (from the cold hearted evil looking weirdo girl everyone ignores) to the slightly more cold hearted evil looking weirdo girl that everyone ignores! But where had she been all these months? He thought to himself, holding a bleeding hand to his chin. Zim! Of course! She was with Zim! THAT'S why she always walked home from school towards Zim's house, maybe she was brainwashed into being his slave!  
  
As Dib thought about this, the more and more it made sense, how she and he would ALWAYS get together as soon as the bell rang to go home, and how they were always seen with each other. . ."In fact, I think they were going somewhere today!" Dib says, speaking to himself. He noticed the sun had gone done some, he had to get home before the bums came out, he would ponder this new theory some more on his way. . .  
  
----------------------------------Back to Jaz.bum bum bum!------------------ -----------------------------  
  
Purple was fuming as he chewed the red and black gag in his mouth, both his arms tied behind his back as Purple lead him floating along through the corridors of Jaz's ship.  
  
"That went WAY better than I planned, I didn't even have to shoot him once!" He yanked the rope a little tighter and smiled to Purple's wide eyes, "See, why can't all of Jaz's little visit trips go like this from now on? We take the transporters here, I find Jaz, I tie you up and leave you here in a random room for an unknown period of time. . ." he paused, thinking about it. "Everybody wins."  
  
Before Purple could even try to say anything, he was shoved into a storage closet, the horrible smell of burnt cupcakes lingered in the air around him as Red shut the door and saluted to his co-tallest smugly.  
  
Jaz opened her eyes to see Ember at her side, her telepathic connection with the little Sir told her that her boot was done. Saluting, she left the room happily as Jaz told her to go check on Umi, it was too peaceful again. The large steel door shut tight again as the robot left, but soon they slid open once more, but this time it wasn't Ember.  
  
Jaz had just begun to put on her new boot when a voice said, "Leave it off. . ."  
  
She gasped, and quickly hid her foot under the blanket as Red sauntered over.  
  
"Red?! What are you doing here? What's going on, am I in trouble? I haven't killed anyone lately- I mean, Whose controlling all of Irk???" she said frantically (and surprisingly enough, truthfully)  
  
"Don't worry about it Jaz, I got substitutes. . " he explained calmly, slowly edging  
  
Red's thoughts shifted back into the massive where the puppets he and purple had used to play with Zim's mind sat blankly on the couch, with Skoodge and a table-headed-service-drone named Ed played recordings of the tallest speaking, and moved the strings, then he thought of Purple sitting gagged and tied in the closet, then of all the Irkens he was lying to by pretending he was back on the Massive.  
  
"I am really doing the right thing?" he asked himself in his mind. He looked Jaz up and down before answering his own question.  
  
"Damn she's hot, therefore I MUST be doing the right thing!" he smiled and sat down next to Jaz. She returned it. . .  
  
Meanwhile, Umi had been skipping down the corridors and dragging a Bat-like creature by the horns to show Jaz when he remembered his cupcake stash. Stomach rumbling, he opened up the secret room, which he had clearly labeled, "Storage room" to throw Jaz off track. He yanked the doorknob open (it was one of the few rooms aboard ship that you had to turn, that added to the perfection of the spot) and there sat a very confused looking Purple.  
  
"AHH! CUPCAKE STEALERS!"  
  
That affectionate Jaz and Red were too busy to hear the yells echo across from the other side of the ship. . .  
  
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Ok, that's it, sorry, but I'm busy failing high school and everything right now, it should pick up soon though, this chapter is worse than the last, no? Feel free to leave html tips, or IM me on slothcumbergirl or email me! (Slothcumbergirl@cs.com, gasp) I'm so lonely.YAY, NEW CHARACTER SOON! Its one of my favorite characters, that's why I'm actually inspired to write more of this SUCKTACULAR story. . .Sincerely, the biggest loser on earth- I mean, Amanda. 


	8. Purple Pancakes With A Hint of Blue

A Tale of Ari-Chapter Eight

Hours slowly passed, as wire upon wire had been painstakingly reconnected and melted back together, the chip was all that was left, as Ari downloaded and uploaded information from Zim's stored memory backup chip (luckily, it hadn't been damaged). Time seemed to stand still as Ari paused to wipe the hot liquid from her eyes once more, it burned as it coursed down her face. 

The dark form of Ari let out a sigh, placing the hot melting-tool down where it belonged, its job finished at last. She (with the computers help) placed Zim on a large hovering table as she brought him upstairs to an unknown level of the house where she had never been. She opened the doors, one with what looked close enough to a bed (and asking for the computers knowledge to make sure) she placed Zim's still motionless body under the covers.

She swallowed the lump in her throat that had returned, laying Zim's head on the greenish blue pillow as she smoothed the black and purple Irken signed blanket over him.

Slowly, she crept back downstairs to where the couch was with the TV. Gir was being fixed as best as he could by Zim's computer, so she had nothing else to do, except worry. And wait. She hugged her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, and for the first time in over 7 years, she broke down and cried.

-------------------------------------At the Membrane Household------------------------------------------------

"Heh, what happened to you?" Gaz smirked, glancing away from her gameslave 2 as the door clicked shut. 

The bleeding and battered Dib scowled, but ignored the mock in her voice by answering anyway. "I got into a fight with our new sister you could say. . ."

Gaz's eyes widen as she almost dropped her gameslave 2. "What the- ohh yeaaa, we have a sister now don't we? I keep forgetting, nothing has changed since they got married, I thought that Ami was dead." she calmly explained, the buttons on her gameslave being rapidly clicked once more.

"Its Ari." he said, grimacing, he would not soon forget her name, hearing the word just made his heart beat a little bit faster, he blushed in shame.

"So wait, when did you see her?" More buttons being clicked in the background. . .

"Gee Gaz, did I have these when I woke up this morning?" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he gestured towards the bruises and cuts all over his body.

"How should I know, I try NOT to look at you. . .But she did get you pretty well. . ."

"Thanks for your support Gaz. And she had a sword and knives too! I'm grateful I'm alive after what she did to me, I'm surprised she didn't rape me or anything."

Gaz stared at her brother for a second. "Girls can't rape guys. . .It just. . .doesn't work…And besides, the rumors are that Ari or whatever her face is, is going out with Zim, but that's just what the preps say. . ."

"How would YOU know what the preps are talking about? And that rumor is bullshit, Ari wouldn't go out with an alien, that's just. . .stupid." he said, pausing as he tried to find a better word.

"Hey, don't blame me because your jealous, it was horribly obvious you liked her in the first place. . ." Gaz smiled evilly. "You could have made a cute couple." she sniggered, although using the word Cute was against a self rule she had set, it was worth it this time.

"Whatever Gaz, I'm going to go look for those crates of band-aids we had."

"Shhhh Dib, I'm busy slaughtering some pigs, come back later when-wait, just don't come back at all."

Dib shook his head as he went upstairs to change his blood soaked clothing and find some jumbo-sized band-aids. And his spare glasses.

-----------------------------At Jaz's Ship--------------------------------------------------------------------------

((AN)- AHHH, emotions! I CANNOT do emotions, I did my best all my life NOT to use emotions, and now I have to! Argh! Sorry if it sucks and is worse than usual. . .Warning, they're all touchy and kissy. . .Ew love.))

Red and Jaz had migrated from the couch to a more secluded spot, Jaz's room.

"You jerk." Jaz said as she kissed Red lovingly, she was pinned into a corner of the large couch like bed in Jaz's room. It was often that these little insult wars would break out between them, but they were just for fun most of the time.

"Bitch" said Red as he broke away only for a moment, his eerie two fingers ran down her back while the other acted as a rest for her head.

"Jackass" came from Jaz, followed by more breaking away, Red pouted before they continued, unbeknownst to them poor Purple lay traumatized as they made out.

--------------------------------Actually, where IS Purple???--------------------------------------------------

Umi threw the Crack-bat at Purples face. The hideous horned pumpkin sized spider with wings hissed furiously as Purple screamed through the gag. 

"STOP STEALIN MAH COOPCAKES!" Umi yelled to Purple who was now being attacked by a blood sucking monster, reeking of Cupcake and trapped by a raving semi lunatic. When he got his hands-er-fingers on Red. . .

Umi gasped as he realized that it was Purple and NOT a crazy Muffin maker man in the closet, he made a long complicated bow. His Black and silver cloak billowed as he shut his dark silver eyes, wiggling his antennae to Purple in salute.

"My Tallest! So pleased you're here! But why of all things are you in my cupcake lair? Your not a burglar, and your certainly not smelly, so you can't be a zombie now can you? YOUR NOT A PICKLED FOOT IN DISGUISE RIGHT?" Umi spazzed out.

"Great, why couldn't this be one of the days where he was sane? Well, more sane than crazy at least." Purple thought to himself sadly.

Purple indicated the gag in his mouth, speaking through Anetar in the end was the only way to get Umi to understand. Purple's antennae moved back and forth violently, the precise length forwards and backwards, sideways and down was an emergency was to communicate silently.

Umi seemed to apologize as Purple's gag was taken off of him. "Sorry my tallest, my antennae have been acting up lately and I haven't learned all of the antennae signals yet. . .ISN'T THAT GREAT?" Umi screamed happily, his overlong antennae twitched with excitement. "Lets go have a tea Party!!!!" He helped Purple up, and grabbing the noose-like rope that still hung around Purple's neck, he led him through the hallways jabbering crazily. Purple sighed and looked back at the closet hatefully to see the large orange spider-bat thing fly out and go around the corner opposite of them. He gulped.

-----------------------------I couldn't think of anything to write in this---------------------------------------

Zim's eyes fluttered slowly, what had just happened? (He looked around him to find small toys and stuffed animals adorned his bed, Gir must have been in his room again.) All he could remember was he had wandered past an alley when someone grabbed him, the rest was just blurry images of. . . Dib! Now he could remember, Dib had come along and. . .His head throbbed as he placed a gloved hand to it, feeling a large bandage wrapped around his head.

He smelled Irken pancakes. . .How was that??? He looked over and was surprised to see a plate of blue pancakes with bits of purple in them. "Computer- run a scan to check for poisons and edibility!" Zim coughed for a second, this was taking a lot of energy for some reason.

The results were announced by the electronic voice from his ceiling. " Identification-Pancakes. 100% Poison, no toxins found."

Raising a nonexistent eyebrow, he slowly reached over and ripped a piece of it off. It was still warm, which meant it must not have been there long. He popped it into his mouth and chewed slowly, the bits of purple tasted like apple to him. (Everyone likes apple pancakes!)

Footsteps up the stairs slowly perked his antennae. He craned his neck to see out the crack in the door, not knowing what he was trying to see. Slowly creaking open, Gir walked in fully functional, and looking better than ever with a smiley face band-aid on his forehead for fun. 

Smiling like a happy little moron, he pranced over, a tray strapped to his head with other Irken foods. Zim felt like he hadn't eaten in weeks, he ravenously ate most of it as Gir stood patiently by his beside.

After his hunger had ceased a bit, Gir gave Zim a happy hug and proceeded to skip out the room. Zim sighed and laid his head on the pillow behind him, but his peace was soon interrupted yet again, but this time is was by a shadow in his doorway.

"Ari?" Zim asked confusedly, temporarily forgetting why she was there. "Ari, what happened?" His memory flooded back, millions of questions inside him burned to be asked, he looked at the shadow, its fierce blue eyes burned, but seemed to soften and return to their normal mixture of dark and aqua blue.

She quietly walked to his bedside and sat down carefully on it. "Zim. . ."

Without warning of any sort, she leaned over and hugged Zim, not in a tight or painful way, but a warm loving hug it seemed. Zim looked shocked, but he didn't try to push her away.

She broke away, her eyes glassy. He didn't bother to ask what that was all about. "Ari, WHY is there a bandage on my head. . .and why do I feel like I got hit with a voot cruiser???" He paused, rubbing his hand over the bandage tenderly.

Ari's eyes darted back and forth for a moment before she answered him. Her voice wasn't its usual steady flow of words, it was quieted and sounded unlike her. "Something happened with Gir, he malfunctioned and exploded or something, he's ok now, but we were all affected by the blast. You might not remember, the explosion messed with your memory chip a bit, the computer repaired it though. . ." Ari cringed on the insides, she had lied millions of times before and she was unaffected, usually it gave her a sense of happiness that the fool had believed her, but this was different, why did she feel bad? 

"Ohhh kay then. . .Um," he bit his lip, struggling with the next word. "Thanks. . .By the way where did the food come from? You didn't poison me or anything did you?" He smiled, it eased Ari's guilt.

"Your computer gave me all these recipes, so I decided to try some alien cooking, I hope it wasn't too awful. . ." She smiled embarrassedly to Zim. 

"No, they were actually pretty good, how did you know I liked-?" he left off about the pancakes as Gir walked past the room riding a puppy wearing a cowboy hat. Ari and Zim both made wry faces at this in silence until Gir had passed and they heard a door shut.

The two looked at each other for a moment before bursting out in laughter.

---------------------------------Back to the insanity-I mean- Jaz's Ship---------------------------------------

If looks could kill, Umi would have been a zombie by now, as he sat sipping a cup of bubbling lilac looking liquid. Purple sat, retied to a chair. His noose lay tied around a nearby bedpost, and his hands were still tied.

"UMI! Get me out of this-THIS THING!" He glared hatefully at the horribly pink and frilly hat that had been tied around his head, complete with a disgustingly matching equally frilly pink dress. (I don't know HOW he got it on him, but it probably resulted in Purple being more traumatized then he needed to be)

"And let me go! I NEED to see RED! I also need a very large gun. . ." he said, sidetracking himself as he thought about how to get revenge on his co-tallest.

Umi put on a look of fake sadness. "Aww, wassamatter? Purpley no likey?" Whether he was insane or not, this started to piss Purple off greatly.

"NO, I DON'T LIKEY, ME NO LIKEY! GET THIS FRICKING THING OFF OF ME!" He shouted, rocking back and forth in his chair. Unfortunately, Umi had been spacing off, and until he heard a faraway BING, he was still spacing off.

"MY BABIES, THEY'RE BURNING!" Umi leaped off his seat as though it had been set afire. He dashed out of the room, after the scent of cupcakes. Purple stopped rocking the chair as he left, but it was too late, he had gathered too much momentum and flipped over onto his back.

The tallest sighed, when he heard an all too familiar flapping sound enter the room. . .

-----------------Jaz's room…seriously, can't we censor this or something???-----------------------------

Red and Jaz lay on the bed relaxed, their make-out session seemed to have ended. Propped up against pillows of all sorts, the two sat in each others midst, enjoying the "quality time".

"Damn he's hot. . ." thought Jaz.

"Damn she's hot…" thought Red.

Ok, so they WEREN'T enjoying the quality time, its all good.

-------------------------------------At the Massive------------------------------------------

Skoodge and Ed played "rock em, sock em Tallest" They pulled the strings controlling their arms, seeing who could deliver the biggest punch to the others face. Suddenly, before Ed could stop him, Skoodge yanked the string with all his might, Purple's fist went flying on a collision to Red's face.

The crappily built dolls head exploded off his shoulder, right after the cameras had rolled, it was the daily tallest interview time. The crowds gasped as everyone witnessed "Red's" head fly off his shoulders and hit the ground, it promptly combusted into flames for no reason. The crowd was immediately hushed in seconds as they all watched in horror. 

Someone broke the silence and screamed, "GET HIM MEDICAL ATTENTION" and the rest was uproar. No one noticed Skoodge and Ed scamper off the platform and disappeared into the crowds. When the emergency squad realized that the tallest were puppets, an immediate roar of fury arose from the crowd.

"Quickly! Send a search party out for the tallest! I want every single galaxy searched! Every planet, every black hole, everything! The Tallest have been kidnapped!

---------------------------HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!--------------------------------------

(A/n- Happy Birthday Heather, aka Jaz! September 24th! If people send her emails wishing her a happy birthday, I'll post the next chapter sooner! The more the faster! Invader jaz8642@aol.com!!!!)

Ari's figure lay asleep on the couch, Zim stood down on his lab working the controls, talking to his computer and Gir.

"I don't think the Ari human is telling me everything, I remember Dib being there, but everything is hazy. . .Computer! Recap on the events that happened here in the last week!" his sharp voice cut through the air like a knife as the computer announced it.

"Hmmm, so she did bring us back here, but that has nothing to do with Dib. . .Oh Gir? Gir come here, I need you to tell me something." he smiled sweetly as the small robot pranced happily over to his master.

"Gir, what happened when we went to the park?"

"I saw a birdy." he said bashfully, rocking back and forth on his feet. "It was a MOMMY! I got a neaty bandy aid too! See!" Gir pushed his band-aid, it sunk inwards, his antennae sunk down and his head opened up. Zim suddenly got an idea.

He took out Gir's memory disk, letting the little SIR slowly shut off, a SIR could only operate for 5 earth minutes without its Memory disk. With Gir off, the doors locked and Ari asleep, Zim placed the chip into his computer and watched the untold events unfold.

His eyes widened as Gir's video played on.

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(Remember, send heather emails saying happy birthday, sooner crappy story gets up. . .yea. Lol, I suck, I'm also very depressed lately. Man I'm BORING! Oh, go here for my favorite song in the world- http://www.esrohkkfb.com )


	9. The Crackbats have come!

Bout time, stupid chapter. This took me a really long time to get up, either cuz I'm retarded or…lets just go with the first on. "And now, on wit da fun! Ok, I'm done now, can I have my kids back?" lAhem, some JTHM there….CONTINUE ONWARDS! BLOOHAHA!

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All Zim could see was Ari and Dib talk, Ari kept pointing and nodding to Zim, but he couldn't see her expressions because Gir had collapsed in a very odd position. The sound was awful and it hurt Zim's brain to strain to hear the words that were drowned in static. Zim's lips curled as he formed an idea about what was going on.

"She's been on Dib's side this entire time! I bet she's bargaining with him for the price they'll have on my head! Flirking humans, I KNEW I couldn't trust her! I was a fool for believing she was different. . ." He sighed, hanging his head and muttering something to himself. He shook his head quickly and snarled. "Invaders need no one. . .and she's a human anyway."

He began to watch the screen again, but the elevator rang out. Zim quickly saved the movie file, shut off the tape and shoved it into Gir's head. . .It was backwards, but it didn't matter. . .Did it?

"!Daeh ruoy no annaw I !Lrig irA!" Gir pranced over, half falling half skipping towards Ari as she walked into the room, Zim tried to casually minimize the paused movie on the computer screen before she got there. Quirking an eyebrow at the robot who had begun to moonwalk, she made her way to Zim as Gir amazingly ran backwards around her legs as she walked.

He seemed to be different. . .she noticed as she talked with him about their latest plan for world conquest, it seemed Gir had eaten most of their monster files, messing up that plan. Deciding it was too much work, the two had just decided to make themselves bigger and storm the four corners of the world as indestructible giants. And it would be more fun this way.

"I was just thinking we should have some armor or something, I've been drawing some things and thinking of ideas lately. . ." she left off, noticing the uninterested look in Zim's eyes. She had seen that look before a lot, but never in the eyes of him. His bright warm red eyes usually glowed and shone when they spoke, especially about world conquest. (whose wouldn't???) But not now, they were like two cold chunks of ruby, glimmering dark and cold towards her.

"Is something. . .Uh. . .wrong?" she asked timidly, or what she had hoped was timid, she wasn't very used to it. 

"No. Everything is fine."

"Your not acting like everything's fine."

As Zim was about to snap at her, Gir tripped over a loose cord while moon walking and flew backwards into Zim's lap, causing him to spin wildly around in the chair. Zim's hand lashed out while he was trying to fling Gir across the room, it smashed into the keyboard which opened the file that was minimized. Ari only saw a quick glance of the screen, but that was all she needed. She ran upstairs quickly, Zim's outbursts about the little robot followed her.

"Horrible flirking robot! I should just-" and it faded away. Ari retreated to the roof after stuffing her bag once again, this time bringing her new black cloak, as it was autumn and the nights were longer she might need it. The time was only about 5:00, but the sun was already setting. 

Crimson rays of red and gold shot across the sky as Ari wrote in her best cursive a note for Zim. She stopped writing after a few silent minutes, Zim was probably still dealing with Gir.

"Ari! Ari where-are-you!?" his exasperated and annoyed voice rung out from the house. "I'll be in my lab, don't disturb me!" He sighed, writing that on a kind of high tech palm pilot, the message floated throughout the house as the palm pilot took off from his hand, displaying his note all over the houses computer screens where he'd usually contact the tallest. "Once she goes to sleep she'll be easy to dispatch. . ." he rubbed his hands together, but a sad expression came over his face. 

"Too bad, she could have been the one. . .And to think, I, the great ZIM, would have let her join me. . .Ah well, guess she won't need her birthday present after all. . ."He grimaced and smiled, but somewhere, next to his squeedilyspooch something twanged with unhappiness. He seemed to have bonded with the human! The mighty Zim cannot BOND with a human! "I'll have to delete that feeling from my Pak later." he walked off into the lab and locked it. 

Gir sat sadly in a large crib with a lock over the top. He squeaked his moose, but it didn't make him laugh insanely like it usually did. Call it Robot Intuition, but he had a feeling bad things were about to happen. . .

-------------------------------------Jaz and Red's Ship---------------------------------------------------------------------

Red laid on Jaz's bed, thinking of the old times when she had first met Purple.

"Please Red, I DON'T want to remember those times."

"Why not? Those were good times! Oh. . .Is it because of-?"

"I DON'T want to talk about it. . ."

"You don't have to tell me then. . .But, what was it like, you know, being a-?"

"A slave you mean? Being stripped of my pride and clothing, beaten, and made so I couldn't transform? Taken away from my home planet? I wasn't there long, thank the tallest, but still, being chained up constantly, and barely fed. That's what it was like Red." she looks away when she's saying this and sighed.

Red just stares in astonishment, surprised a bit that Jaz had actually given in and told him. It had been a while since he had bought her, back then she was a fierce looking little fox creature, locked in a cage barely her size, a scarred and bleeding guard stood by her cage.

"Hey mister, ja vanna buy her?" His voice was like a rusty whisper, quiet and hard to hear but it got the point across well enough.

That day was vivid in his mind still. He remembered how the guard said they had caught her, but she was no good and refused to eat. He gave in, thinking he could add her to his pet collection, Purple and he were actually planning on making a planet for zoo purposes only. She would make a nice addition. 

"Remember the time I first took off your collar?" Red asked curiously with a hint of laughter. 

"Yea. . ." she smiled. "It was pretty funny though, when I turned into my real form. . ."

"Do it again." he grinned slyly.

"Not now. If I'm seen, who knows what could happen! A Tanzirian princess should NOT be on an Irken made ship, especially not with their leader. . . " she crossed her arms, her hand grazing the dagger as she did so.

"Come on! He made a concentrated face for a moment, "Please?" his voice wheedled.

"Nope."

"Sniffle. Look, I'm sniffling, you have to!!!" he even attempted a puppy dog face.

"That the ugliest thing I have ever seen. . ." she said playfully before giving into his request.

Jaz sighed, then tapped the jewel on her forehead and adjusted it a bit. Closing her eyes for a bit, her form slowly changed. Her long dark and slightly curly hair came back, her antennae faded away as her fox fur replaced it. Her tail twitched as she spread her long furry bat-like wings and stretched.

"It feels good to be back in my old body." She yawned.

Trying to hide the smile and keep his regal attitude at the same time, he held a hand up to her face and stroked her cheek.

"Your still beautiful, no matter what you do. . .How do you do it Jaz?"

Shaking his head in puzzlement while Jaz blushed (although the fur helped a bit) Red turned on the TV across from her bed. His eyes grew to unimaginable sizes as he listened to what the green skinned reporter was saying.

"Tallest, Abducted or Run Off? Today we were all shocked to find out that at the city meeting about Irk's newest planet Blorch should be made into, as the parking planet idea was banned as of this morning. As people entered the auditorium, it was made clear that the "tallest" were puppet imposters! A green warning has been sounded, and planets all over the triple galaxies are being searched as we speak. This is Turi, out, now back with the mold fairy outbreak!" The picture was replaced with dozens of green shapes that darted about the room, some being lured into bags of bread. . .

Red slammed his fist into his hand. "How DARE they ban my parking structure planet idea!"

"Red!? How can you say that!? All of the universe thinks your missing! You've GOT to get back there now!" Jaz was unbelieving as she told this to Red, who just now seemed to be realizing what he had done. . .

--------------------------------------------------Back in Umi's room----------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh my Tallest. . .hey, that's me! What is. . .uh oh, I sure hope that's not what I think it is. . ." Purple laid face down, tied to his chair as the fluttering got louder.

"Feeeee-eeeeeet?" a squeaky voice rang out, although it wasn't very high-pitched it still squeaked oddly enough. "Feeee-eeet! Fee-eet! Fee-eet!" the chanting grew louder as the chair got considerably heavier.

A shape walked up towards Purple's head, he could tell because the chair was creaking under its weight.

Looking up, he gazed into the ever smiling face of a large orange Crackbat. It snickered, said Feet once more hissing and walking over to Purple's feet.

"Hey, wait a minute, THAT'S NOT YOURS!" Purple shrieked as he tugged his foot away from the blood sucking monster.

Not as if that mattered though, the creature grabbed his shoe and yanked it off. Sinking its long fangs into his ankle, it giggled maniacally as it drew blood and lapped it up. Purple lay helpless and cringed, its tongue felt like a razor against his bare skin. Suddenly, he got an idea.

Grabbing for his pocket, his long fingers stretched as far as he could.

"YES!" He peeped to himself, the Crackbat gave him an annoyed look as it chewed his foot.

He threw the object up to his mouth, and using his tongue to dial, a happy voice picked up.

"Hello?"

"HELP, 911, SAVE ME, I'M ABOUT TO HAVE MY ANKLES CHEWED OFF! LOCATE SHIP NUMBER 20523!"

"Dad?! I'll save you!" the voice said with worry and apprehension. . . Although there may have been some excitement in it as well.

"What?? Jes!? Your not the emergency hotline, damn you stupid tongue! Jes, don't worry about me, I'll-

The phone line was dead.

"Great, the batteries have run out, why don't you just explode while your at it!?

He glared at the phone, it blew up obediently. Then he remembered the latest technology craze being "explodable batteries, explode when they die!" He cursed some more.

He thought about Jes, his daughter. Well, she wasn't really his daughter, she had been given some of his DNA as an experiment when she was abducted off of Earth. She used to have glasses. . .and furry purple antennae, what was it called? Heir? Hare? Eh whatever, anyway she was weird looking. "Stupid Red, go and make me a daughter while I'm sleeping, I told him no more earthling crossovers!" he grumbled to himself. But Jes had Magic, and a lifestone embedded in her forehead, so she was an exception. Since the experiment to irkenize her nearly wiped her memory completely, she had stayed with the Tallest until her memory had come back. 

"I'm going to miss being alive." thought Purple sadly.

Something skidded to a halt outside the door. It was kicked open, Jes's gun pointed to the Crackbat. It retreated back a bit as Britt, Jes's Sir unit ran over and untied Purple completely.

"Jes! You're here? That was. . .fast." he almost said "a surprise" but the thing Jes did next made him glad he didn't.

"Oh dad! I'm so glad you're ok!" she embraced him lovingly, Purple just realizing that she must really care about him.

"Stand back, I'm gonna blow this little bastard away!" her gun made a whirring noise as the scope locked onto the spider bat.  


"What?"

'Sorry, earth swears. FLIRK YOU, YA LITTLE SCHNIT!" she shot, the Crackbat flipped over and exploded into 5 pieces.

"Jes! Where did you learn those sailor words???"

"Heh, I hang out with Jaz, remember?"

"Oh yeah. . ."

There conversation was interrupted by Britt's frantic tugging on Purple's robe. Pointing wildly to the Crackbat's dead body, only it was more than one dead body, and they weren't exactly dead.

5 slightly smaller-than-the-original Crackbats now stood, hissing furiously at them. Jes fired more shots into them. The same happened, they exploded, but then each of the severed blobs sprouted eight legs, two curved horns, the same creepy smile and wide eyes, and a pair of large wings.

"I HATE SPIDERS! EAT THIS YA LITTLE MONSTERS!" Jes screeched, realizing what earth creature they had been so similar to. She was about to blast them all away with her lifestone, but they took to the skies.

"I suggest we run like pansies." said Purple nervously, taking Jes with him as they both edged out of the room.

"PANSY AWAY!" said Jes, they both turned and ran with the creatures in hot pursuit.

------------------------------------------------------Umi sits in his closet---------------------------------------------------------

He sat there, licking his grape flavored foot. (Accident at a juice company I believe)

"Mmmmmm, foot tastin', one of my favorite past time activities!"

Umi cocked an antenna to the side as he saw something wearing frills and ribbons go by, that was Purple, something with long curled antenna that somewhat looked like Tak, that was Jes, and a robot that was almost exactly like Gir but pink instead of blue. . .

Then, he spotted why they were all running. A considerable amount of Crackbats flew after them, all chanting, "FEEEEE'EEEEEET!" Faster and faster.

A stray from the mob saw Umi holding a cupcake.

"Feee'eeeet?"

"Uhm, no, we don't sell feet here, sorry!"

Its fangs bared, it screamed FEEE'EEET! And with that, half of the group split off and began chasing Umi.

He started running, his crimson colored Sir ran with him, his bright cyan eyes as wide as Umi's silver ones.

Hallway through hallway, Umi's boots slammed into the ground with Biz's metal clinking alongside him, long antennae whipped around, he winced, as antennae were very easily hurt. Turning a corner, he saw Purple, Jes, and Britt running. Jes could read his eyes as they all leapt through the sliding door to their left, it shut with a small shleenk! noise behind them.

Red and Jaz sat on her bed, Jaz was still trying to persuade Red to leave, he was putting up a bit of a fight, as he had to go get Purple, but Jaz wasn't supposed to know he was onboard the ship…

The two blinked in surprise at the panting mass of metal and flesh that held the door shut. Britt and Biz melted the door shut as best as they could while Purple heaved an explanation.

"So-many! Red, you-flirking-moron!!! Get-us-off-ship, now!!! HUNDREDS-horrible-monsters, so-awful!" He breathed heavily as he clutched his lungs.

Before Red could ask anything, the door thudded as large dents appeared in its metal frame, the Crackbats were coming in.

Jes and Purple leapt out of the way as the door flew away from the wall where it was melted into, hundreds of football sized Crackbats flooded in. Red grabbed Jaz seconds before the door permanently wedged itself into the ships structure, ripping off half the bed clean with it where Jaz had been. Jaz struggled out of Red's arms as she whipped out her thieves knives, twirling them around her fingers.

Purple and Jes waved their arms back and forth dramatically. "NO, NO MORE CUTTING, SLICING, OR SHOOTING!!! IT MAKES MORE!!!"

Quirking an eyebrow at the blob of Crackbats that hung suspended in the air, she sheathed her knives quickly. "Then it's the blade of my energy sword you'll be eating!" she roared leaping into the crowd before they had a chance to make any attacks on her "friends". Her wings were bitten and torn at as her tail lashed in the air, her energy sword a bright flaming inferno as Crackbats were disintegrated at the touch of it, turning into a dead pile of ashes each time.

Jes soon joined in, not allowing Jaz to have all the fun. Taking something from her Pak, she grinned evilly as 50 or so of the monsters flew for her. She waited for them to be 2 or 3 feet away before turning her flamethrower on. Shrieking and writhing in agony, the Crackbats dropped to the ground as their wings and bodies burned to dust.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ETCETERA! YAY! Ok, so my story is going nowhere, I'm up for suggestions lol. Sorry it took so long, bad naughty people, not wishin my friend a happy birthday eh!? Oh well, Jaz will just be forced to slit your throats, I mean, not wish you a happy birthday either lol. And she's not a slut, just…..Jaz. Next chapter HOPEFULLY it'll get better, if not my story will ULTIMATELY SUCK! And thanks for your comments, I haven't gotten a single flamer yet, they must not be bothering to read it its so sucktacular. . .I…..guess that's good… 


	10. The Creation Of a SmeetEater

Ahoy-hoy people! Thanks for all the reviews! "I feel. . .odd" lol. Yea, hopefully my original idea for this story will come back soon before I screw it up too much. . .eh. Anyone who knows HTML please help me, I'm lost. . .In an enchanted forest, look, I'm Popeye! Wait no, I'm a bunny, now, that can't be, because I'm both! BUNNY POPEYE, AWAY!

------------------------------------------Zim's lab-------------------------------------------------

Zim glowered at the computer as he removed the Irken Pak stabilizer from his back, it was like a temporary Pak, for when you were upgrading or removing things from your ID Pak that would take more than 10 minutes. He had put his ID Pak back on, but discovered that the horrible feeling was still there.

"Computer! Why didn't you delete the flirking emotion!?" His voice was exasperated and confused sounding as well as angry.

"I'm sorry Zim, but I did delete some of it, there seems to be er. . .quite a lot."

"What do you mean? Are you assuming something about the Ari human-?"

"Uh, no comment."

"Computer!"

"Fine, I think you DO like her then! There, I said it! Hahaha-"

Zim's jaw protruded as he made a wry face at this, glaring at the mass of wires that covered his ceilings, his face burned with embarrassment.

"I do NOT like the human, can you imagine me, liking her!?" he turned and walked up the stairs, not noticing how dark it had gotten, and he had a job to do.

"I think she likes you too. . ." came the quiet whisper of the computer from the lab. Zim turned, poised to shut the door. His eyes widened just a bit when he heard this, but quickly remembered what he was coming upstairs to do.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A bruise rapidly formed on Ari's leg as she stumbled and fell onto the dusty path. Already aching and exhausted from running all day, the black cloaked figure staggered to her knees and continued walking. It was well into the later hours of the night, which meant no one would be awake when she reached her destination.

"Never thought I'd see the day that I'd be forced to do this. . ." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The looming shadow that was Zim stood before the door to his room where Ari usually slept. The doorknob seemed to throb with an unpleasant fiery sensation, scorching his fingers as they hovered above it. Pushing a small button on a black object in his hand, a kinda of black beam shot up from it, slowly going from a misty color to a solid black as it became a black sword. Biting into his lip he hit the keypad for the room settings, he typed in something in Irken and the room was enveloped in a yellowish smoke.

"This should knock her out, but I don't know if it will kill her. . ." a voice chimed into his self thoughts. "Ahh, but that's what the sword is for Zim, one quick stab, or if you need to work off some stress you can make it many stabs! One stab two stab three-" He shook his head, the heavy wave of guilt hitting him again. Why did he feel so bad? He had experimented on tons of humans before, their end much more grisly then hers would be. 

Zim recapped on that days events for a moment, Ari had been spending most of her time in that room all day since she came down to the lab. She was probably drawing again more monsters again. He really had liked her drawings and all, she was quite the artist-

"Your doing it again Zim! You've got a job to do!" screamed the voice in his head, he glanced down as the yellowish smoke that had been sitting in the room for a good 3 minutes now, was beginning to seep under the cracks of the door.

Praying to the Tallest for good luck, he wrenched open the door, the smoke started clearing out immediately as he did. Coughing, he made his way over to his bed. He could see a mass of blankets, she was sleeping.

Gripping his deadly blade tightly, his gloved hands shaking, he approached the mass of covers. The voice in his head screamed "NOW!" and with the adrenaline rushing through his veins, he swung the blade in a semicircle pointed to the bed.

His blade only sliced through sheets and fabric.

"What the-? She's not here!" He scrambled around through the blankets, looking around, as if she had shrunken down to a tiny size and was lying dead somewhere hidden.

He did find something though.

Zim held a small doll, about six inches long in his hand, it was styled like Ari's Indiana Jones doll he had so rarely been allowed to glimpse, the same scary blank wide eyes, same nubs for legs and arms, but it had odd fabric for its hair, that was almost real feeling, and it wore miniscule clothing identical to Ari's, the exact type of fire shirt and baggy black pants, it even had the two spikes of hair on its round head.

He flipped it over, something wet touched his skin as he did so, something red was on the dolls chest, if it had a neck it may have been there too, and he noticed it the ends of its arms were dipped in it too. Zim's eyes widened as he realized what it was.

"Blood. . ." it was a whisper, barely audible, even though no one was around he needed to say it.

The liquid was staining the soft cotton that filled the dolls body. He noticed the doll's chest was slit open, exposing the white fluffy cotton inside that had been stained red.

Zim made a wary face as he dipped his index finger and thumb into the slit, widening it a bit as he felt something hard inside its soft body.

Extracting it from the doll carefully, he unfolded the red stained note's corner.

It read in Ari's messy scrawl, 

See you around Zim, sorry I wasn't a good enough human for you. Keep the doll, or throw it out, doesn't matter to me. The ray is finished and fixed, the chip is inside Gir's left lens cap, I was going to surprise you but guess I won't get the chance now. I'm off to go do a common human thing now, but I'll miss you.

With Love,

Ari

He shoved the doll into his pocket as he ran out of the room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Her shoes dug into the ground as she climbed higher and higher off of the trail to her favorite spot. She cursed to herself as she fought her way through the sharp bushes and trees to get to the closed path she was aiming for. A ripping sound issued froth from her pants as the belt loop caught on a branch. She ripped the fabric chunk off her pants completely and continued on. By the time she reached the narrow path, the moon had begun to sink down into the mountains, soon the sun would be up.

"Hmmm, that means its almost. . .what like five?. . .Eh, that's alright, I should be done before seven anyway."

Brushing away some early fall icicles and holding her cloak close to her body as the chill early autumn winds whistled through the air, they were a lot stronger higher up.

She climbed over a thick branch and managed to evade the sharp needles as she found herself at her destination spot when she turned around.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Zim ran up to the roof and got into the voot cruiser, he spied Gir playing with the designer model of a sir unit's program, it would have been Ari's present, but he knew if he didn't catch her now there wouldn't be anymore birthdays for Ari.

A thought struck him. Where the hell was she?

"Look my lord! I hast madeth a beasty!" said Gir as Zim was frantically thinking about where she was.

Zim cast a cold stare down at Gir, the screen showed a cat like creature Sir with large slightly curved and pointed rabbit ears, large paws with for feet, no nose, just glaring red eyes on its cat-like face, and to top it off it had a long whip-ish tail with five spikes coming off of it in a row. The two large ruby colored eyes shone for a second as Zim got an idea.

Leaping down from the cruiser to where Gir was, he skidded to a stop at the machine.

"This HAS to work!" he muttered excitedly to himself, pressing buttons all over the keyboard.

"Whatcha doin' with my beeeeesty?" asked a curious voice in the background.

"Gir, I don't have time to explain, but-damnit, where's the skills option? Oh wait, never mind here it is- I've got to go get Ari, do you know where she went?"

Zim was tapping keys rapidly as he chose skills for the demented Sir he was hastily creating, he would dispose of it after, but for now it was just what he needed. Setting the skills on 

……………….

Senses, sight-10

Senses, hearing-10

Senses, taste-0

Senses-smell-10

Senses, touch- 0

Durability of body- 8

Defenses- Max

………………

He scrolled down through the screen, typing this and that, setting it to be the perfect tracking creature, all was well until he came to the last question.

Attitude-0100101101011 

Zim checked the time after typing in "Happy, pleasant to be around, quiet." in binary, but his dropped guard was all Gir needed to screw something up.

"Weeee! I is smart mastery!" he exclaimed and began rapidly playing with the computer keys. Gasping, Zim wrenched the robot away and began fixing the mistakes. Only one went undiscovered.

Smashing his palm into the create button, a large grid came down from the ceiling and slowly the metal structure of the sir unit was built, metal pieces phased onto its body as the shape of the creature grew. The last thing it needed was the outer skin layer, a thick yet short furred texture stretched over the body of the thing and then a chip was placed in the back of its head.

Before the Sir could speak its first word, Zim grabbed it and put it in the voot cruiser, as it was still dark he could fly it, and he probably wouldn't need his disguise.

As the voot fly into the night sky, the computer wondered to itself when the Sir;s chip would kick in, as normal Sir machine chips would operate the Sir temporarily, for about a human hour until the main chip would be activated enough to take over. Meaning that the Sir Zim had with him was really just a mindless slave with no attitude or personal anything. The computer also wondered why he wanted the Sir to be moody, quiet, hateful, wild, and obsessive with things. "He must have had a good reason or else he wouldn't have picked 0100101101012 for the attitude. . ." murmured the computer to Gir who waved madly to the speck in the sky.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ari glanced out at the mountains around her own, the cliff edge she stood on was iced over with early frost as she viewed the masses of earth and rock. This was her favorite place to go when dad was still with her.

"This is our spot. . ." she quietly spoke to herself. Sitting on the edge of the cold overhang, she pondered how she should do this.

"I've got a knife, and I've got a sword, and I've got a cliff. And if I really wanted to use it I've got my borrowed gun from Zim." More murmuring thoughts as she fondled the sharp dagger in her hands. Exposing her wrists for the first time, a strong wind kicked up and the cloak flew up with her sleeves.

Sighing at the scars that adorned her wrists she only became more depressed.

Something roared a little ways away from her, probably about 200 meters, it sounded a bit like a wounded animals cry.

"We are alike then." thought Ari. "I think I'll watch the sunrise, so I can do this on my birthday." 

And with that she laid down with her hands behind her head to wait for the sunrise.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Come on, Come on!" urged Zim, his mind racing as well as the vootcruiser, the sir was sticking its head happily out of an open crevice in the window, after sniffing the doll madly it kept staring in the direction they were supposed to go. He had been doing this for over 45 minutes and the sky was beginning to get light, he'd have to stash the cruiser and walk.

"I don't know how he's doing that if he has no nose but as long as I find Ari…" came the random thought in Zim's head.

Suddenly the Sir started hissing and sputtering, it attacked the window with such force the cruiser shook in the air.

"Quit it!" screeched Zim as he hurriedly landed in (and on) a patch of secluded trees.

Screaming with insanity the wild Sir Unit sniffed the doll once more, it was addicted to the bloody scent. It leaped out of the Cruiser as soon as Zim opened the door and began racing up a dirt path. Zim followed it blindly in the dark, trying to tell it to shut up before they were noticed, too late.

An old man came out of the house, Zim barely got on his contacts and wig before a bright light was shined in his eyes.

"No hiking' this mountain! Its closed ya hear!? We got some rabid animals up there, me thinks it's a few coon's that might've infected 'em, I hears their calls I do. . ." the old withered man trailed off looking at the mountain top.

And with that he wandered back into the house leaving a very confused and incredulous looking Zim standing there.

"Okayyyyyy. . .That was pointless." said Zim as he stumbled through the darkness trying to find the crazed Sir.

Wild scuffling noises and snapping branches stopped as Zim found the robot stock still, growling menacingly at a beaten dirt path where there were dusty footprints in the fading moonlight leading off of it. He also noticed a piece of Ari's pants, ripped and torn. He may have secretly hoped somewhere deep inside of him that she was okay. . . 

"Just like Ari, always take the harder way out. . ." he murmured to himself and the android who despite his large ears clearly wasn't listening, or perhaps he didn't care. Zim guessed the scent of blood had worn off, or he lost the scent as the Sir turned his back on Zim and walked away.

Zim ran panting through the woods, he skidded to a stop as he saw the trademark two spikes of golden hair wavering a bit in the light. A smile of relief broke across his worried face as he made his way towards her.

"Ow!" he hissed as a sharp pain jabbed into the side of his face, sharp tree needles jammed themselves into his green tinted skin.

Ari whipped around, a noise in the bushes behind her snapping her concentration, the gun clicked as she held it by her side. Her feet slipped for a split second on the cold icy ledge, she regained her balance quickly.

"Who's there?" she whispered, her breath making a misty cloud in the early morning light.

Zim stepped out from the bushes slowly, his cheek pocked with green marks where the needles had pierced his skin before being hastily ripped out.

"Its just me."

An incredibly odd look of wonder and sadness came over Ari's face, like she was disappointed but amazed he had come. She laughed to herself and hung her head, her chunks of blonde hair covering her face.

"Its not supposed to happen like this. . ." barely audible to Zim.

"Ari. . ."there was a pause, Zim's eyes gave Ari a strong piercing look. "Step away from the edge."

"Its all wrong. . .Your not supposed to care Zim." She took a shaky step backwards, bits of ice fell off from the edge of the cliff as she did.

"Ari! Please! I. . .I do care, I swear on my life. . .Why else would I come all the way out here for a stinking human?"

"You tell me." came the sullen response from the figure who stood so close to the edge, one slip and it would be a thousand meters to the cold frozen ground.

Zim stuttered for a moment, not knowing what to say. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he softly spoke one of the hardest things he'd said in a long time… "Because I think. . .I love you. . ."

Something shone in Ari's eyes as she looked up at Zim with an appreciative smile.

But that was soon replaced by a look of terror.

"Zim! Look out-!" was all she could manage to say before a monstrous creature burst through the bushes towards the two, Smashing Zim out of the way. The alien landed with his back against a tree as the creature advanced on Ari, her slightly bleeding wrists attracting it towards her. The beasts ears flattened against its head, its long claws pounding the ground as its massive furred body roared, bits of foam and spit flew everywhere as the creature's eyes rolled in its head, teeth marks from a smaller animal adorned its muzzle.

"Its rabid. . ." murmured Ari as it slowly made its way towards her, the 7 foot distance wouldn't make that a very long trip. She whipped out to her displeasure the gun, as her sword lay in its sheath away from her side.

Firing a round or two into the beasts thick fur, the recoil pushed her steps back a bit, her left foot sliding down the steep ledge, she quickly retracted her leg.

Zim watched in horror as the bear roared, icicles falling from the nearby tree branches. Drawing his black energy sword, he paused as a blue something leapt madly over towards the bear. A thing with rockets in its feet. . .

The blue and darker blue striped Sir unit viciously ripped at the bears eyes, the scent of blood urging it on again, the slashes on its muzzle bled freely and encouraged the robot on. One though was on his mind, "Kill".

The bear collapsed in pain, its head landing inches away from Ari's trembling feet. All was silent, and only the sound o the android cat tearing at the bear's flesh could be heard.

But that was soon accompanied by another more terrifying sound. The sound of the small ledge cracking under the new weight of the bear. Slowly looking downwards at her feet, small cracks appeared in the solid stone, slowly chipping and cracking into even more fragments of the rock.

One last look at Zim was all she was allowed before the cold hands of gravity pulled her body along with the bear and the Sir's down into the cold abyss of the canyon.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Worst Cliffhanger ever! Lol, sorry for the awful chapter! I'm making it up as I go with the ending in mind. That's the way to write a failure! I mean, masterpiece! Yea yea, no Jaz or Umi etc in this one, I had to get this out of the way, so nyah! Plenty of them and bad pickup lines in the next though! WooooOOOOoooo! Aw great, I have to go to jesus class, see ya!


	11. Illegal Dreams Come True

Zim couldn't believe what he just saw, one minute Ari was there, and then in an instant she was gone! He ran to the icy edge, gripping what was left of it so hard his knuckles turned pale green.  
  
"Ari!!!!!" he screamed, his voice was choking as his eyes glassed over the contacts rapidly.  
  
He didn't even pause to take a step back as he dove into the chasm after her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~  
  
"That day was hell." said Jaz as she massaged her temples recollecting the massive interviews and questions thrown at her and Red for his mysterious disappearance. Somehow he had smoothed the entire thing over, so Jaz's name was pretty unknown again. The way she liked it.  
  
"Stupid emotions. . .stupid love." she kept ranting as Umi sat in a pile of Crackbat ashes that he was supposed to be cleaning up with Biz.  
  
He whispered loudly to Biz; "Jaz doesn't like Loveeee because she theenks it makes her a weak-y-ling! Silly her. She is missing out, like, love of Striped shirts, cupcakes, feet licking, specially when mine are grape flavored, and fire hydrants! And-. . ."  
  
With this Jaz shuddered uncontrollably and decided to leave the room, having heard enough of Umi for that day.  
  
She flopped onto her bed, her vixen ears twitched, she just then realized she was still in her Tanzirian Form. The little black and gold Sir Unit popped his head up, barely reaching its eyes over the bed. A telepathic blob of information floated between the two, Shape shifter and robot.  
  
"No, I don't miss Tanzir. . .No, no. . .Hey, he doesn't have a big head!" Jaz smiled as the Sirs questions grew more and more odd.  
  
"Whatever Ember. The mission is now officially retarded. All I know is that I have to go to Earth, and like this hasn't been thought of before, make sure Zim doesn't complete his mission. Or I COULD just kill him."  
  
Jaz looked at the sir for a moment, the robot's question in her mind. "What, Zim? A life?! I don't think its possible Ember, no, I haven't met him, but his profile and reports show he's just..got too much free time on his hands."  
  
-?-  
  
"Anyway Ember, we'll arrive at Earth in about 17 days, more or less, and the ships basically fixed. . .I hope." she picked up an odd spindly glass on her bedside table and took a nice long drink from it before laying back down on her bed and wondering about thoughts that unlike most of the people's around her, made sense. -------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Neeeeeeer!" a black gloved hand held a shoe as it smashed into buildings made from floor items and ashes as Umi smashed it into one of the monstrous city buildings.  
  
"Then, SOOPER BOOT goes to get his'self some uh' dem foxy high heel girlies!" the boot then proceeded to go around the corner of the sofa. A slight Irish type accent was accompanying his conversations. . .  
  
"Hey Biz. . .Guess what I heard Jaz is gonna do when she gets tay Urth!" He whispered to his crimson Sir who sat quietly by, cupcake batter smeared around the edges of the Easy-Bake-Oven in his head.  
  
The robot did nothing but blink.  
  
"EZZACTLY! She's going to. . ." he made a swiping motion across his neck and shuddered. "and I didn't even know him. . . Ahh vell, and now, back to Sooper Boot, Leatha' Pimp, ezztraordinaire!" (multiple types of accents were used in this dialogue)  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------- Cold winds tore at Ari's face and body as the fall was slowly numbing her body, the icy temperature dropping with every second she fell. With as much energy as she could she raised her head from her chest and tried to look upwards at the land she was leaving for a last glance. The sun had risen and shone dutifully down on the icicles and snowy bits that its rays could reach.  
  
"Isn't this just great." thoughts racing through her mind faster than her heartbeat "I wonder if he was lying. . ." The nagging part of her mind spoke up now. "You're a moron aren't you? Wait, don't answer that, I already know, literally. He said it! In a kind of corner scene and all wannabe romantic like, but he still said it!" Ari took control of her mind again. "You don't-I mean, I don't. . .wait. Whatever! Do you know how many guys just say that to get action? Or that he just wants me to finish up the plans?" Now her head was splitting with questions and answers that didn't make sense. The voice in her mind was screaming along with the winds that whipped her around. "Damnit! Your mom was right, you just bottled up all your emotions, and when you hit the ground they'll all spill out and before you die, your going to wish that you could have one last f**king chance."  
  
The voice had silenced her.  
  
"Do you still want to die?" it quietly asked her as time seemed to standstill.  
  
"I used to. . . . . . ." was said out loud to herself.  
  
She looked away and noticed that a black shape loomed below her, fur and blood covered its massive body. Shaking her head to get a better focus, she noticed that a smaller and lankier cat like creature was somewhat attached to it.  
  
Subconsciously she murmured to herself, "Heh, its raining Cats and Bears and me's!"  
  
At this point the cat creature hissed or screeched, it was really both, at something above it that had cast a slight shadow upon its meal.  
  
The sound of fluttering clothing above Ari's limp body once again forced her to look up, only this time her eyes met a more likable picture.  
  
Zim was about 10 feet up and away from her, although he had done a good deal of catching up. At first she was overjoyed, but then remembered where she was falling to. A stream of tears dripped from her eyes and floated upwards away from her at this.  
  
"BASTARD! WHY DID YOU COME DOWN HERE!?" she shouted madly at him, waving her arms limply to accentuate her point.  
  
He met her eyes and smiled.  
  
"I'm saving your life."  
  
Stunned and shocked, she glassily watched Zim while at the same time trying to think of a sarcastic response.  
  
The figure of the alien took out a gun of sorts and aimed it to the sky. He murmured something about the tallest and gun recoil. Soon after that, a blast of pinkish light was shot straight upwards, propelling Zim's body a foot lower. Another blast and another blast and another and the two humanly creatures were next to each other.  
  
Zim smiled at seeing Ari's frown. "What," he sighed comically "Your not happy to see me?"  
  
"Zim! Why are you down here!?" she cried, half screaming in sadness, the other in fury, and also wondering just how deep this crevasse went before they both exploded on impact.  
  
A steely look overcame Zim's contacts, the lilac periwinkle blue became colder. "I already told you, and if I know you then I won't have to say it again." a small smile came over his face as he pointed his gun upwards again and shot downwards quickly.  
  
"Zim!? Where are you going? Stop taunting me!" she yelled to him as he became smaller and smaller, below she thought she could see the glimmers of bones and whatnot on the bottom of the floor glinting.  
  
"I just realized I don't know if I wanna die or not." she thought to herself, straining against the winds to turn her body stomach down to try and find Zim in the sea of inky blackness.  
  
Cold red flashes glinted below her which was followed by some cursing and a high pitched screech was heard, before Ari saw something she had never thought possible.  
  
Zim looking rather proud yet torn up was riding towards her on the Sir unit, rockets blasting from all four of its feet. The Sir itself was quite unhappy looking, with Zim using its ears for reigns and all.  
  
Without hesitation, he grabbed the falling body of Ari in front of him and blasted away, the three slowly making their way out of the canyon.  
  
Sooner than she thought, the two were back at Zim's house. About a mile from the mountain they had landed and pretended to be a random couple taking their odd rabbit/cat monster for a walk. No one was the wiser.  
  
When they had reached the house, the malformed Sir growled and snapped at Zim before retreating inside, probably to attack Gir. Ari paused at the doorway of his house with Zim, the door slightly open. She gently pulled his wig off and flicked his contacts away, his dark red eyes expressing an odd feeling of happiness and confusion. She looked away at the ground.  
  
"Zim. . .What you did back there. . .I. . .I want to say thank you."  
  
He smiled weakly and blushed a bit, this time he looked away.  
  
"And as for what you said. . .if its true or not. . ." she looked him in the eyes and mouthed four words. With that she kissed his cheek gently and slowly walked inside.  
  
Putting a hand to his cheek softly he smiled and followed her lead. ----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Poke.  
  
Poke.  
  
Double poke. What is the meaning of this?  
  
Jaz tossed in her sleep and wearily opened her deep sapphire eyes, and to her surprise met Umi's bright silver ones an inch from her face.  
  
"HOLY FLIRKING SHNIT! Don't DO that!!!" she fell out of her bed clutching her heart and panting.  
  
"I had a nightmare. . ." he said simply.  
  
"La dee frickin da. Go back to sleep Umi."  
  
"You died. And I died, and we all died. And there was misery and sadness among all life. . ."  
  
"Wha?" half asleep, Jaz was not good for help with nightmares. "Stop watching horror movies Umi, that's all I have to say."  
  
Umi whimpered sadly.  
  
"No. That would be look so wrong."  
  
Whimper whimper whimper.  
  
"No."  
  
Whimperrrrrrr.  
  
"Umi! Gah..fine, I'll let you sleep at the end of the bed. . ."  
  
"Yay!"  
  
Umi snuggled himself into the bottom of Jaz's bed and slowly drifted back into sleep.  
  
------------------------------Well THAT was Pointless!---------------------- ----------------  
  
"Ari. . .I know it's a bit late but. . .here."  
  
He handed her a nicely wrapped blue and silver little box, bigger than a bread box. He smiled to one side.  
  
"Happy Birthday."  
  
Ari's face was completely awestruck, an almost confused expression accompanied it.  
  
"A present. . .I can't remember the last time I got one of these. Thank you Zim."  
  
"Gee, is it me or isn't it an Earth Custom to uhm, ya know, open it before thanking me?" he gave her a smart-aleck smile.  
  
"Well fine then, guess you don't need me anymore mr. I know everything about Humanity. . ." her face broke into one of the few smiles she made that day as she pulled the soft ribbon, she stopped for a second.  
  
"Zim, I'm trusting you, this isn't going to kill me or anything. . .right?"  
  
"Uhm, no. I only did that once. Maybe twice. . ."  
  
She grinned. "That's why I love you." she kissed his cheek again and then continued to unwrap her gift. Her eyes widened as she removed the smooth box top and gasped.  
  
"Zim. . .Its. . . Its an ID Pak!" her voice stuttered with amazement and wonder.  
  
"And its all yours. . .if you want it."  
  
"You. . . You mean it!? You would make me-"  
  
"Irken? Is that what you wanted?"  
  
She weakly swallowed and nodded her head.  
  
-------------------  
  
Hahahahah! I AM LAZY! You can all thank Umi for harassing me so much to get this bloody chapter done, great, ya see? Its gonna be worse cuz ya made me rush, I HOPE YOUR HAPPY UMI! Ahem. . .doo dee do do dooo.. Oh yeah! Do any of you think Minimoose should be in this? I never really considered him. . .bet he feels all left out an' lonely.NEXT CHAPTER! Tij shows his true sides, Ari does some stuff, and THINGS HAPPEN! ::gasp:: Tune in next time, same crap-site, same crap-story! Buawnana! AND THANK YOU ALL FOR GIVIN' ME SUCH KIND COMMENTS! Go to read Lejindary Bunnies stories! Or you'll be crushed by my Not-so-jolly boots of doom. 


	12. Jes's Takeoff and an Achilles Tendon

WOOOOOOOOOOO- LOOK AT ME GO! HAHAHAHAH! Ok, that's enough of that. YA HARHAR! Everyone, look up the comic Ghost cat and read it, its SO awesome! And Mac Hall and Sinfest.net, three best comics ever. Ones about college guys, ones about a ghost cat and a scary landlord, and ones about a slut and her friends.she has a pig for a friend, and she talks to god! Heh, and Jessica, just wanted to say MERRY CHRISTMAS IN YOUR REHABILATION CENTER IN UTAH! At least you and your bro can celebrate it together, HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Now, I SUPPOSE I'll continue, or Lejindary Bunny will finish it for me..  
  
Trembling hands held the pinkish grey tinted I.D. Pak as Ari stood before Zim. He glanced at the I.D. Pak once more before placing his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes sternly. Ari noticed he was maybe an inch or so taller than her at this.  
  
"Ari, before you do this, you should sort of know something."  
  
"Zim. . .?" a suspicious voice went along with her suspicious face.  
  
"That cloning and creating the Irken race is against the law, all of the galaxies know and enforce it."  
  
"So. . .You did something illegal for me?" exasperation and monotone were used in saying this.  
  
"Maybe. . ."  
  
This argument continued over into an hour of typing so I'm just going to say they switched pro and cons back and forth.  
  
-----------------------------Woo, that was fast----------------------------- -----------  
  
Munch munch munch munch munch- Red stood snacking on a cheese dipped hotdog a few feet away from Purple annoyingly as he watched him converse with Jes.  
  
"No."  
  
"But dad-"  
  
"Nah-ah."  
  
"DAD-"  
  
"No way."  
  
"Stop that-"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Why not???"  
  
"Because, 1. Zim is there. 2. Jaz is there."  
  
"Was she the bitchy fox thing who kicked me off her ship???"  
  
Red glared and lunged towards Jes, Purple grabbed him back by his collar.  
  
"Jaz is no bitch!!! And your FATHER dragged you off her ship!" The somewhat outraged tallest made furious grabs and swipes at Jes whilst Purple attempted to restrain him. Jes didn't help the situation by sticking her tongue out and moving closer and farther out of his reach.  
  
"Nyahhh!" she said, her long curved antennae wiggled as she shook her head and gave him a raspberry. (Not the food as some people think)  
  
Red glared at her coldly. "Shut your mouth you little experiment gone wrong." he muttered. Purple punched him in the arm for this.  
  
"Jes is made from my genes, therefore my daughter, and you should do well to address her as that."  
  
"Bla bla bla, she's from EARTH! Nothing good -or intelligent- ever comes from Earth."  
  
The bickering continued on as Jes sadly left the room and joined Britt in her quarters.  
  
Sighing, Jes flopped onto her bed and thought for a moment.  
  
"I'm not an experiment gone wrong am I Britt? I mean, they chose me to mess around with, chock me full of Irken genes and whatnot, feh, Stupid Red. . She kept muttering swears about Red. Hey Britt, lets go and find Jaz, maybe we'll have a fight with her, to show Red I'm just as good as his stupid girlfriend. . ."  
  
"I dunno. . .She's from Tanzir, that planet's full of people like her, and most of the bravest Irkens don't go near it for a reason." Britt meekly spoke up as she tried to not fall off the bed.  
  
She smiled. "Yea, but currently that reason is flying in a ship towards Earth. And its not like I'm your average human anymore, I'm an Irken now. . ." she smiled and tapped the lifestone on her forehead before she sat up.  
  
"Britt, I think its time for a vacation."  
  
------------------------------------- Back at Zee Lab ---------------------- ------------  
  
"Zim, I dunno about this. . ."  
  
"Awww come on! I know this is what you want, so there's the. . .SLIGHT chance of me being found out, then I'll be carted off to jail then beheaded or else tortured until my unfortunate death or I'll-" He sort of murmured the rest and trailed off with his eyes wandering from the floor to Ari.  
  
Ari's eyes were glassy in horror, her eye twitched. As she opened her mouth to argue some more with Zim, Gir came screaming down the stairs.  
  
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJIIIBABA!!" was the terrified sound of Gir running as fast as he could, his antenna was missing as he leapt into Zim's arms and huddled into his shirt. Following a mere 3 seconds behind was a war call accompanied with the mechanical monster Zim had made last night.  
  
"BAAAAAAAA-JAAA!" It screeched, its digital call low (like Spike's from Cowboy Bebop but a LEETLE digitalized) as it made its way down the stairs.  
  
"SWEET BAJESUS!" Ari yelled as she dove out of the way, grabbing Zim's hand and pulling him down with her. The robot pounded the floor where the two, now three, were standing seconds before. Its large slightly separated paws padded the floor, metallic claws hidden inside them clinking as it walked menacingly towards the group, the five spikes on its tail bristled like fingers with minds of their own.  
  
"Zim. . .You said his battery would run out a few hours ago!"  
  
"I was making a guess! He SHOULD have shut down by now. . How come NOTHING I make ever comes out right!.Zim muttered to himself as the monstrous beast stood before them.  
  
"Get up." its voice issued. . .a command?  
  
"He talks. . ." said Ari flatly looking at Zim.  
  
"Uh, he's not supposed to!!" Zim was more puzzled, this Sir was supposed to be plain survival skills, not a conversing creature with actual intelligence!  
  
"I said-" his neck dipped down as he cringed in somewhat pain "Stand."  
  
Warily standing and drawing her sword, Ari walked up to him.  
  
"What is your name?" she glanced at him, his body covered in short blue fur, his two foot long ears swiveling every so often as his cold ruthless eyes narrowed.  
  
"I am a Temporary Intelligence Unit," he coughs. "Although I prefer to be called Tij." This sentence seemed to cause him great pain, as he was forced to sit and cough sparks.  
  
"Um. . .Why are you. . .here-still?" Zim said annoyed while trying to pull Gir from his shirt.  
  
Tij growled a smile. It was eerie, seeing his jaws silvery white glint in a creepy grin. "That's your own fault." He said this as he walked over to Gir and grabbed his leg, pulling the robot away from Zim and curling his tail around it. Gir was happy at this, until Tij jabbed his tail spikes into his back. Sparks flew as the two robots stood still. '  
  
Suddenly, Gir leapt forwards, Tij's tail still in his back, although Tij's sinister voice issued from his mouth.  
  
"Zim you fool, you created me only for your own selfish desires! So badly you wanted to bring back that worthless human that you created me? I am no Sir, and I have no pride to call me own thanks to you. I am a monster not worthy of life, yet you used me anyway." His cold cruel voice emanated from Gir's mouth.  
  
"Last night, when the two of you retired to your bedrooms, I with only an hour or so to live due to your unkind ways found my way to where you keep your power core, the back up sir parts, and that miserably failed attempt at Santa Claus suit remnants. Well seeing this, I took it upon myself to make sure that I would ruin your life as you have created mine. I combined the power of your house with sir parts, making me a functional robot in most ways, then the fun came. I was accidentally doused in your horrible experiment, remaining Santa Claus liquid! I was covered in it, never had I ever felt such pain before . . .But I have discovered I cannot destroy myself now, it has bonded with my wires, making them attract to each other- "  
  
"Bla bla bla, So you may have gotten into a storage room, why should I care. . ." Zim interrupted.  
  
All the while Tij was talking Gir's body was moving and making hand motions while Tij smirked. It was really quite amusing, Gir being the cute puppet and Tij being the grotesque puppeteer.  
  
"Ha ha, yes very funny. I was merely trying to get to the point where I slit your throat, using the body you so purposelessly created!" screamed Gir in Tij's voice.  
  
Ripping his tail out of Gir's back, inch long bluish metal claws shot out as Zim's beast leapt for him. Weaponless, he leapt back and was pinned while Ari drew her sword.  
  
Tij's muzzle was inches from his face, where what should have been teeth was a row of connected steel in jagged triangles. His breath reeked of blood and oil as his artificial lungs pumped fresh oil and liquids through his body, forcing air to slightly circulate from his mouth. He licked Zim's cheek, with a thin sheet of metal for a tongue it acted as a razor drawn across his face.  
  
Zim put a hand to his face and smiled before a bluish sword was jammed through Tij's back.  
  
"KREEESHAAA!" The Sir screamed as it writhed, oil and blood from its earlier meals leaked from it as the sword was removed.  
  
"Oh that's so not right. . ." Ari muttered cleaning her sword, giving a glance to the robot laying motionless on the ground beside her. Zim stood up and made a queer face at Tij.  
  
"Ari. . .Back away." he murmured as the body twitched.  
  
She looked at Zim, human nature was to investigate, not to listen. Obediently she slowly moved her foot away from his gaping mouth, but a moment too late.  
  
Metal jaws snapped and locked onto her ankle as the hole slowly disappeared, filling with a horrible blackish liquid and becoming part of him once again. He swung his head to the left, dragging Ari down to the ground.  
  
"MONSTER!" Zim began smashing his foot down onto the head of Tij in an attempt to free her bleeding ankle.  
  
"Please don't let my Achilles tendon snap, please don't let that stupid tendon snap. . ." was all Ari could think of. Guns and Robots were two things some should never have screwed with. . .And her she was facing a thing that was both.  
  
Relentless stompings made Tij open and unlock his jaws, giving Ari a chance to wrench her leg free. Not giving the creature a chance to retaliate, Zim grabbed his metal skeletoned tail.  
  
"Eat this bastard!" he muttered, shoving his tail into the electrical socket next to him.  
  
----------------------------Do do do-I just watched the Fugitive! Woo!------ -----------------------------  
  
Jes hummed a tune as she and Britt clambered into their Voot Cruiser.  
  
"We're going to Earth! Yay for us Britt! Just like my perfect sister Tak, but different purpose." Jes frowned a bit at Tak's name, the two were so alike it was scary. But different personalities entirely.  
  
"Isn't your dad gonna be mad???" Britt asked suspiciously.  
  
"Nahh, he's good. I'm just. . .showing him that I'm old enough to do things on my own."  
  
"Are you sure this isn't out of spite. . ."  
  
"Of COURSE not. . ." she said happily in her faint accent. (also inherited like her sister)  
  
"We'll be a few days off from Jaz if we take the Void near Blorch. . ." she murmured to herself looking the map on her screen while the two flew through space.  
  
"Awww, but those rat people are so. . .slaughtery."  
  
". . . . . . . . Yea. Hence the name slaughtering rat people."  
  
-------------------------------------------ZOOM ZOOM ZOOMVOO---------------- -------------------  
  
It was really an odd scene now, a smoldering body of what looked like it was once a large cat rabbit mix, A girl blankly looking at it with a bleeding ankle, and an alien standing slightly taller than her. Both watched it for a moment in silence.  
  
"Is it. . .gone?"  
  
"I think it short-circuited." he said, bending down and moving its paw. "I've never seen a Sir do that before. . ."  
  
"He really was a Sir? He looks nothing like one. . .Is that his disguise?" She cocked her head to one side to get a better look at this beast of technology.  
  
"Nope, this is the actual body of the Sir, Gir designed him after all, what would you expect?"  
  
". . . . . guess your right. Speaking of which, where did he get to?" The two looked around for Gir's body, Ari stepped backwards and tripped due to two things, her damaged ankle and she had discovered Gir.  
  
"Eep!" she murmured quickly as she put a hand out to catch herself from the floor. She didn't need to though, as her body never touched.  
  
Zim grinned at the confused girl as he held her up with his arms .(No, with his feet. . .)  
  
"How did you get behind me-?" Too confused to blush she shot him a quizzical look as she turned her head around somewhat to look at him but stopped. ". . .Never mind, heh it must be your alien charm." she added with some laughter.  
  
He stuck his tongue out at her and lifted her back up under her arms like you would a child. "I should have dropped you." he muttered in an annoyed yet teasing tone.  
  
"Ha ha ha, you wish. I would have brought you down with me then so nyah!" Ari said in a playful way despite the not-really-funny-in-any-way-possible- situation they were just in.  
  
The two joked around for a while some more, like old friends would. It was nice, interaction some a thing that speaks your language wasn't one of Ari's strong points in life. Minutes of long lost happiness passed slowly before Ari sighed and looked at her leg.  
  
"Hmmm. I suppose I should go get some...gauze or something, I don't want to get blood all over the floor...some more." She made a face as she looked at her bloody ripped pant leg, her four-times-larger-than-usual-now-red- instead-of-white sock and her dripping shoe.  
  
Zim felt embarrassed, but he didn't know why, it was like he was compelled to take care of her. . .What was this new horrible feeling!? And why are there so many!? Why does he need a new feeling for everything nowadays! Humans. . .they bring nothing but trouble sometimes. Many thoughts were running through his head as he walked over to Ari and nodded.  
  
"!?" a confused and surprised noise issued from Ari's throat as she felt her legs come out from under her, it took her a minute to realize that Zim had picked her up in his arms. She wiggled a bit, as this was a first.  
  
"What are you doing Zim???" Her eyes were wide and curious but quickly changed into a questioning look.  
  
"I'm being nice to a human. Even I'm surprised, now stop tensing up or I'm gonna drop you." His voice was somewhat calm and controlled sounding, very different from his usually sarcasm filled one.  
  
Ari shrugged and supposed she had nothing to say against him. She only muttered;  
  
"Your pampering me . . .I'll get you for this." she whispered sullenly.  
  
Zim grinned and stuck his tongue out at her which she did likewise and crossed her arms pouting.  
  
------------------------------------------lalalalalalal--------------------- ------------------------------  
  
THE END! Of this chapter. It was lame and purposeless wasn't it. . . . I wish I could write, I really truly do. Oh well. Heh, if the characters in the story live to see New Years, we'll all take a break and cellybrate. And I'm gonna update my zim Elfwood fanart pagey thing with tij pictures, and jaz hopefully, and umi, and all of them. And SORRY for the other char lackage!!! I couldn't think of more plot to shove into them lol. Ya know . . .I don't think there IS a secret entrance, I mean, I don't think this chapter had any purpose in ANY way. . . . Well I'm just gonna go now and draw some scary pictures of Tij. BAI! Oh, and LejindaryBunny? What quotes would you use? I dunno if I've got any good quotes in this here crapblob-I mean- story. . . 


	13. Itching in Foreign Regions and Holland

Hello All, thanks Ravwrin and NeverAgainTruth, and Multiple Lilys and EVERYONE who bothered to read this and review it. I feel warm and fuzzy. It is disgusting. HI LEJINDARY BUNNY! ::Waves insanely:: I'd love to do a cameo for Kiir! She sounds neato cool, is she tall? She seems tall to me….I finished reading your fic! Then FF.net chose to die. . .Hmm, some good songs to listen to while reading this story or doing ANYTHING Zimmish for that matter are- Tears of Pearls by Savage Garden for Ari, Head Like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails for Zim and Dib, A Million Miles away from Home by Dune for…I dunno Zim I guess…..Dun make fun o' my selective musical tastes, or I'll shove a fish up your- ahem.

--------------------On Zim's Couch Upstairs--------------------

Ari was teasing Zim as he snapped Gir's chest plate back on.

"All done. Worthless little robot. . ." He muttered standing Gir up.

"You know;" Ari said flipping off her shoes and pulling off her socks. "Ever since I met you I've gotten attacked. . .one. . .two. . .three-" she began to count off her fingers and Zim cast a mutinous look at her. Gir squeaked as he was turned on.

He took one look at Ari, surveying her up and down and pausing on her bare feet. Throwing his hands to where cheeks would have been in mock expression, he screamed in horrified excitement, "PORNOGRAPHY!"

This caused Zim to look over and immediately blushed a darker shade of green, he looked away and fumbled for Gir's off switch while Ari looked completely blank faced.

Gir flung his arms behind his back and screamed in a somewhat threatening way, "I'M GETTIN' THE CAM'RA!"

Zim slapped a hand to his face and seemed quite embarrassed as he made a grab for the wild giggling robot who had turned and run into the kitchen.

"If I wasn't so confused I'd be terribly embarrassed. . ." Ari thought to herself as she coiled the bandage above her ankle tighter. 

-----------------------------::jaws music starts playing::-------------------------------------

The dark shadow inched slowly along the corridor. Its robes silently fluttering as it's shadowy hand snaked its way to the doorknob. Effortlessly the door swung open instead of sliding, as so few did aboard the massive. The figure stalked along the walls, tumbling and rolling, its main target was in sight.

Red was oblivious to the shifty character rolling and tumbling from one side of the room to the other as he flipped through a magazine with the TV slightly murmuring in the background.

The black shape paused before continuing its quite purposeless rolls and ducks, slowly making its way to the beanbag resembling chair sat its target. The poor unsuspecting fool, he could not be aware of the screaming horrible pain about to be unleashed by his pursuer!

Once again, only inches away from the soon-to-be victims head snaked the hand, and then it flashed out, striking him down.

"AGGGGHHHH! PURPLE, YOU FLIRKING- AGHHHHHHH! I'LL KILL YOU- GEEEEAAAAAHHHH!"

Red screeched in agony as he held his antenna that had just been flicked.

"Hah ha ha, not likely Partner! That's for putting a dead. . .thing in my bed!" he triumphantly announced.

"You deserved it after switching my soda supply with liquid pig toes!"

"But that was only because you glued my slippers to the floor!"

"Heh heh heh, yea I did." Red smirked to himself before Purple hit him in the back of his head before walking off.

Red growled to himself. "Note to self, hire boxer eating wood nymphs and hide in Purple's closet day of big interview. Heh heh, yea that'll learn him."

And so the prank war began, due to the idiocy and overall stupidity of Tallest Red, peace on the massive between the two would not be a thing easily accomplished. Ever again.

----Bow down before he one you serve, your going to get what you deserve----

It took a while for Zim to spit out the feet explanation, and by then Ari had just about been ready to ask if anything else mind scarring and life changing could possibly be in store for her that night. First a failed suicide, then a dream come true from Zim, A malformed Sir attack, and now a theory on how sandals were the equivalent of lingerie. Great, just peachy.

She yawned and stretched, glancing at her digital watch.

"Zim, are you aware that its 1:42 AM?" She sleepily glanced at him as his skin slowly faded from its green blush. He returned the look with some surprise to his voice.

"Really? Uh, by Earth time I'm guessing that's-"

"Late enough for human wormbaby's such as myself to be sleeping. Another one of our oh-so-plentiful weak-"she yawned "-nesses. Zim it just occurred to me, but I've never actually seen you sleep, except for that. . .time." she trailed off slowly murmuring the last bit. Ari really didn't feel like bringing up what happened in the alley way, after all it has started all of this. . .

"We really don't need it, but it is nice to catch a few hours every now and then." Zim's eyes met with the floors for a bit and he stifled a small laugh. "You really kicked the shit out of Dib. . ."

Ari laughed a bit, though embarrassed a bit. "It wasn't that hard actually. . .You must be pretty ashamed though, having someone as worthless as me saving the life of someone like you. . ." there was something that sounded like truth and admiration almost in her voice.

Zim didn't say anything for a while, his ruby eyes shone with something, but it wasn't embarrassment, that was for sure.

"I'm not ashamed. . ." he said quietly, more to himself then to her, but she caught it.

"I'm going to go to sleep. . ." she began to sit up and slowly advance on the elevator with Zim watching her. Something was nagging at his mind. . .

"Sweet shnit!" his mind rang out as he ran up to the elevator and caught up with her.

He couldn't let her see the room like that, not after all that had happened that night. How he had told her he loved her, and then she sees her room with stab marks and ripped everything?! He began to think of an excuse for her not to sleep in that room, but suddenly his excuse made a loud smashing noise from the lab.

Ari's ears clearly heard the crashing, and her heart definitely wanted to investigate, but her brain was persuading all with its appealing "No care, just sleep" idea. And with that she hit the button to go to the second floor.

"Uhm, Ari. . .Maybe you should sleep in. . ." Zim had just realized, unlike most normal houses, that he in fact did NOT have a guest room. "Uh. . .My room tonight." It was a good thing he was too worried that this would work to blush or he may have disappeared with the dark green wallpaper behind him.

Her response was a suspicious raised eyebrow followed by a yawning sigh.

"Alright Zim, whatever you say." came a sleepy late reply.

---------------------------------------

THWAK!

Jaz smiled. Late night blade throwing always was a good thing to do on sleepless nights. Or when Umi is having a reoccurring nightmare about singing feet and mushrooms. . .

THWAK THWAK THWAK!

3 more blades imbedded themselves in the Irken shaped dummy, two between the eyes and one in the squeedily-spooch.

One more zinged through the air as it sliced off both the wire antennae as its deadly curved blade made a boomerang shape in the air. Concentrating for a second at the knifes approach back, Jaz carefully leapt a few feet in the air and grabbed the handle. She grinned, last time she tried it she nearly cut her hand off.

She twiddled the odd knife in her hand and put it away, replacing the one in her hand with a small dagger. As she paused at the doorway, she threw it casually over her shoulder.

THUNK!

She bemusedly turned around and glanced at its spot, which was right in between the legs. She laughed to herself.

"Whoever he is, he doesn't stand a chance. . ." before walking back down the black inky hallway. (And its true, he doesn't. . . )

Strange noises echoed off the empty walls of her ship, she raised a nonexistent eyebrow and peered into the room to her left. There sat Umi looking quite enthused with the TV. He slowly turned around and looked Jaz in the eyes from his spot on the floor.

"I am from Holland! Isn't that veeeird???"

Jaz gave Umi an odd look as she watched the words "Goldmember" roll across the screen for a commercial break. Umi was in hysterics all the while.

"Umi, what are you watching. . .?" came the reply that stopped Umi's crazed laughter.

"Tis GOLDMEMBA! AN HEES FRUM 'OLLAND! 'AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Jaz was a bit confused at this point, although she retained the spark of sarcasm in her voice when she said "Ok then Umi, answer me this. 1. Where is this show broadcasting from, 2. What is Holland, and 3. What's with the accent???"

"Uhm. . .Gee Jaz, Oi 'honestly dunno! Oi finds it playin when me turns un tha teeveh, an 'ere tis! Loik MAGIC! Oi watched it yesterday too!"

"Uh huh. I guess we're picking up broadcasting signals from Earth."

Suddenly a commercial for shoes came on, long black boots and nearly nothing shoes came on, women slipping feet into them. Jaz recoiled and fell backwards onto the couch.

"UMI! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!!"

Umi kept staring at the feet wiggle from shoe to shoe.

"Woah Jaz. . .They're PINK!"

"Oh great, wonderful." murmured Jaz as she looked away and grabbed the remote and turned it off. The TV made a beewoop! Sound as it shut off.

"Aww, just when it was getting good!"

Jaz said nothing and shook her head slowly to the sides.

"I'm going to bed." she turned and left from the room. Umi grinned and pressed the on button again, only nothing happened.

"AND I'm taking the remote with me." came the faint reply as Umi realized too late that all the TV's onboard were controller operated.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

-----------------------Oh man, I just failed a science exam----------------------------------------

Zim inconspicuously tapped a few buttons on the wall as he and Ari slowly walked through the slanted hallway. His antennae twitched as he heard the computer start changing room 14 around, which happened to be Ari's. In the morning, its rushed makeover would be complete. . .

Zim paused for a moment as he opened the door to his rarely used room.

"Uhm. . .You can take the bed. . ." he murmured.

She did nothing but smirk.

"Oh but Zim, It wouldn't be kind for me to take your bed, where would you go?"

He shrugged then motioned to the huge unnoticeable at first armchair that sat in the corner of his room.

"Deal." she grinned, knowing how to manipulate people to give herself the worse end. Another common part of true loyalty damnit.

She walked over and leapt into the armchair, curling into a small ball and leaving Zim behind to frown.

"That's not. . .wait. . .so I? Hmm…CURSE YOU HUMANS! Your always screwing with my mind Ari!"

She lazily opened an eye and looked at him. "Call it talent. Now go to bed."

Zim looked confused at her mothering words. A slight smile slipped across his faint trace of lips as he climbed into his bed. Ari victory smiled to herself as she heard the bed creak with Zim's added weight for a moment. Until an fluttering sound made her eyes snap open too late. She scrambled around as the thing started suffocating her and fell out of the chair.

FWOOMPH.

She yanked the blanket down off her head that Zim had thrown to her, but before she could speak any daggers, a pillow met with her face.

"Mmph!" she squeaked before the pillow collided with her. She threw that onto the chair behind her and stood up to see Zim laughing his head off.

"Shut up!" she tried to stifle a little laugh as she faked her anger. "Good, I'm keeping them now. Whatcha gonna do about it?"

"I'm going to ignore you and go to sleep." his grinning face disappeared beyond the mounds of blankets on his bed.

"Feh." And with that she clambered back into the chair and went to sleep with the new pillow and blanket.

----------------At the Massive-Say there's a few hours time difference ok?------------------

The rug folded and slid as Purple's new slippers seemed to run in place, with Red in hot pursuit.

"I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU PURPLE!" Red yelled, his hands making a strangling motion as he caught up with his robed companion. He lunged.

Purple stopped running and Red slammed face first into the wall. Purple grinned like an idiot before he started running again.

The enraged Tallest pushed himself pushup-style and clenched his fingers into a crude fist.

"YOU'LL REGRET THE DAY YOU PUT ITCHING POWDER IN MY UNDERWEAR! AND YOU KNEW WE HAD THAT HUGE INTERVIEW TODAY TOO!" And that having been said, he took off again, stealing one of the guard's next to him's staffs.

And itching himself all the while.

---------------------------------Mmmmm Puffed Rice--------------------------------------------

"COME ON YOU FLIRKIN IDIOTS, IT'S A STUPID HOLE! YA EITHER GO THROUGH IT OR JUST GO AROUND IT, YA DON'T STAND HERE FOR 6 FRICKIN' HOURS LOOKING AT IT!"

Jes had had most unfortunate luck with some foreign aliens. They obviously weren't accustomed to Irken Transportation systems, and had been throwing random stuff from their ships into the black hole. 

"O' for crying out loud…" Jes murmured, tapping some buttons and gripping a rather oddly large lever.

"Mistress. . .Uhm what are you doing?"

"We're 7 ships behind those idiots, I intend on being first. I CAN'T wait ANY longer. The Irken space patrol isn't here, and I bet there's some law that says you can do this. . ."

"Wait-what are you doing-?!" Britt asked desperately as Jes's fingers twitched.

"AND WE GO!" Laughed Jes as she grabbed the lever back, the jets on the back and bottom of her voot exploded into life. Britt was flung back a bit from the force, but Jes leaned into it, biting her lip a bit as she swerved in an out and between ships. 

"And a little welcome gift to the newcomers . . ." a jet of bluish silver liquid shot out from one of the cannons on the back of her ship, splattering all over the foreigner's ship window as Jes warped into the Black Hole.

--------------------------Woo, I don't think this story gets more pathetic than this------------------------------

Ari shivered. Somewhere, there must have been a window open. . .Or maybe Irkens didn't need heating, after all they didn't need much sleep after all. . .Either way she was freezing, not to mention the creepy sounds she kept hearing from time to time.

She bit her lip, if anyone saw this. . .Oh well.

Giving in to her own foolish idea, she silently slipped out of the chair and paused when she reached Zim's bed. He looked so peaceful, his large eyes shut in a world of bliss and happiness, it was hard to believe these were the same eyes that were the cold cruel ones that would take over Earth. . . But that could wait, as it must have been around four in the morning and she wasn't thinking clearly enough as it was. Ari skillfully climbed into Zim's overlarge bed and snuggled into the pillows, she could still feel his body heat from them. She was glad Zim was a heavy sleep so it seemed, and the fact he had its back to her anyway.

As she was closing her eyes and letting herself get swept away into a world of sleep and dreams, she near silently whispered to herself, "I'll be gone before he wakes up. . ." 

Zim opened an eye for a second and smiled.


	14. Memories and Operations

Ok readers, teehehehe, I changed the beginning to the very very old idea I had, ya know with Ari just comin to the new class and all, that's uh, the simplified version, I got down to the more detailed parts, eh heh heh heh. . . I AM THE QUEEN OF RUN-ON SENTENCES BECAUSE I ROCK SO BAD THEREFORE CAUSING OTHER SENTENCE ENHANCING QUEENS TO FALL TO THEIR KNEES AND BOW TO MY MIGHTY TYPING FINGERS! Hehehe, I just read Dibario and it was muy funny. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------  
  
Ari gasped as she sat up, it must have been at least noon! Instinctively looking to where Zim had slept, hoping somehow he was still asleep- but no, the bed was empty of all but her.  
  
"Damn my biological clock!" she hissed to herself before noticing the figure leaning in the doorway.  
  
"Are you finished yet?" he said simply, his eyes giving a half opened amused expression.  
  
Ari blushed furiously, before she could find a somewhat decent excuse to have snuck into his bed for the night, the blankets next to her exploded as Gir put his face right next to hers and screaming "ITS ONE IN DA NOOOOON!"  
  
This resulted in Ari flipping out, and off of the bed. Zim snickered as he watched Ari rip the blankets off of her and stand. She grabbed the cheerful robot by the neck, but as he didn't have the need to breathe, this really was quite unthreatening. She narrowed her eyes, trying to overcome the intense look of happiness on his face with her scowl.  
  
"Never do that that again. EVER." She accentuated the last part to the giggling ball of robotic jolliness.  
  
Gir looked sad for a second, traces of what may have been tears in his eyes glinted, Ari's expression slowly softened before a big chunk of raw bacon was flung into her face.  
  
"I MADE BACON!" and the android exploded in cries of laughter once more.  
  
Ari soon muffled his insane laughter by shoving the bacon into his mouth and grabbing the blanket he was sitting on's ends together. She quickly tied them together and spun it around in circles for a while with Zim watching oddly. His quieted screams of delight could still be heard as Ari dropped him to the ground.  
  
"Well that's a method I've never used before. . ." his eyes turned to antagonizing slits. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Master, she sleeped with you, wouldn't you know?!" came Gir's muffled voice, before Ari casually shoved him under the bed, blanket and all with her foot.  
  
"I was COLD."  
  
"Heh heh heh, yea sure. You just can't resist my suave." he grinned in a cocky way.  
  
Ari tried to look serious, but it really didn't work. "Yea, that's it Zim." she yawned and stretched. "So what have YOU been doing all day, besides watching me sleep."  
  
Zim made quite an odd face at this question, like worry and anxiety mixed into one. (Like, Worriety, or Anxorry. . .yea)  
  
"Nothing worth reporting er, telling you. Besides the fact that I went down to the lab and that. . .Sir thing was. . .not there anymore."  
  
"Tij is gone???" She blinked in disbelief, out of the corner of her eye she watched the blob of blankets slowly wriggling out from under the bed.  
  
"Uhm, if that's his name then yes."  
  
Ari shook her head and sighed. "D' you think he's still in the house?"  
  
"I ran a scan a while ago and upped the security systems, the scans showed no TIU presences at all, he must have gotten out when we were asleep." What may have been a teasing grin slipped across his face for a moment. "Are you planning on eating anything today?"  
  
She gave him a shrewd look, but her stomach responded before her mouth could. She blushed a bit and followed him out of the room, wondering how he could switch from a serious topic to a totally random one so easily. . .  
  
Leaving Gir all alone in his hamster ball of blankets.  
  
"Master? IT SMELLS LIKE YOU BUT I DON'T SEE YOU! Meeeeee!" was all that he said as he struggled to free himself of his Zim-scented prison.  
  
--=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+At Dib's House+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=--  
  
"Gaz, have you seen my goggles?" Dib asked, searching in the couch cushions.  
  
As he wasn't worth her opening her eyes to glare at him, she merely frowned and said "I really couldn't care less Dib. . ." Little bwoops and bleeps could be heard after she voiced her heartwarming thought.  
  
"Thanks a lot." he rolled his eyes before donning a look of victory as his hand brought up the missing goggles from under the couch.  
  
"I can't believe its been almost 2 months since Zim's been out of school! He MUST be plotting something horrible!"  
  
"He could have died." Gaz said simply, causing an eerie silence between the two for a moment.  
  
"As much as I'd like that Gaz I don't think so. HE'S SCHEMING!" He ended with an outburst, causing a small explosion sound from Gaz's Gameslave.  
  
Her eyes shot open and one twitched as she exclaimed, "You KILLED me!"  
  
He sighed. "Gaz, I don't have TIME to be beaten up by you now! I've been planning a final sneak attack on Zim tomorrow, and I'm still not ready!"  
  
"Your such a stalker. . .If I didn't know you any better I'd say you looked like a perv, sneaking around people's houses and whatnot. . ." she snickered as her game emitted the regular bleeps of pig-killing.  
  
He frowned and made a slight noise of protest and annoyance. "Why don't you go find Ari, I'm sure she'll play gameslave with you, oh wait, THAT'S right, she's been missing for 2 months as WELL. Gee Gaz, don't you think it's a little odd? Its OBVIOUS she's helping him! HOW COME YOU DON'T CARE?"  
  
"Shhhhhh not to save point yet. . ." she said quietly.  
  
Dib threw his hands up in exasperation. "Your hopeless. . ." was all he said as he wandered back up to his room.  
  
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-Back at Jaz's Oh so Interesting Ship-:-:-:-:-:-:- :-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-  
  
Jaz slipped into her silky robe as she looked forwards to a nice hot shower, after not getting much sleep last night and the Goldmember ordeal. She opened her door and fell flat on her face as she had tripped over something large and warm.  
  
As she struggled to get up the blob moved and wiggled its long antennae.  
  
"What the 'ell?" she moaned as she sat up and rubbed her antennae tenderly. "Umi???"  
  
His bright silvery black eyes glinted as he sat up in front of Jaz. "REMOTAL POWER, CLICKY WISDOM, CONTROLLER OF TV!!!!! Gimmegimmegimmegimmegimmegimmeeeeee!" he whined.  
  
"Did you sleep at my door!?" she asked incredulously as she stood up dizzily.  
  
"Will you give me the remote if I say I didn't?" Jaz groaned in esasperation and shook her head. "You are pathetically obsessed. ."  
  
"It's a tingly feeling, yes?" He asked happily, his eyes darting around for any chances that Jaz could have been keeping it in the pocket of her robe. .  
  
"Uhm, yea that's it. . .Ember!" she called her gold and black sir out, its two antennae that laid behind its head twitched as it silently arrived at Jaz's standing point, saluting.  
  
Umi made a questioning noise as the Sir's eyes narrowed, the gold Z? on its forehead shone as it smiled.  
  
"And smiles she why. . .???" he asked.  
  
Jaz sighed at his odd speech, not an uncommon thing for Umi. "Because I hid the remote in her head. NOW GO EMBER, RUN UNTIL YOU CAN'T RUN NO MORE!" And with that, the overly obedient Sir exploded off half running and half flying. Umi shot Jaz a confused and astounded look.  
  
"That's cruel! EMBER, WAIT UP!" He said before scrambling to his feet and sliding around the corner out of sight.  
  
"FASTER EMBER, UMI HASN'T BEEN WALKED LATELY!" She called after them and going to enjoy an uninterrupted and actually peaceful shower.  
  
--=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=At the Massive+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=--  
  
"Hey Purple. . ."  
  
"What." came the none too happy voice of his co-leader.  
  
"I call Truce since we have to make plans for the annual ball. . .thing."  
  
"Red, its not a ball, it's a. . .group thingy. . .of all the Invaders and Past Invaders, bla dee bla dee bla yea."  
  
"Yea that, its in a few months and our uh-what are those guys called that tell us what to do?"  
  
"I don't know but keep talking." said Purple boredly as he flipped through a magazine, dipping a cheese crunchy in a peanut butter like substance from time to time.  
  
He frowned, "Anyway, we have to go to a meeting on it and approve their ideas and. . .stuff."  
  
Purple groaned at hearing this. "A Meeting??? I thought we banned those until further notice."  
  
"Ummm nope, its not here on the list of all things banned. . .  
  
"Shnit, what happens if we add it really really fast, like scribble it in now?" He wrung his hands as he tried to think of ways to avoid this meeting.  
  
"Aw come on you wuss, all we have to do is decide where it'll be, and a way to keep Zim from coming. . ."  
  
"Ahem, Jaz. AND the fact that it's an Invader-who-actually-conquered-their- planet thing."  
  
Purple grinned. "Ohhh yea, hope the traffic's not too bad, heard that some foreign guys from Zenaria started a battle at one of the black holes."  
  
Red shrugged before sighing as he stood. "Well lets get this stupid thing over with. . ."  
  
--=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+That was Fast..Oh well+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=--  
  
"Aaaagh! It hurts!" Ari was holding back the scream of pain as wires spread themselves all throughout her body. It felt like needles dragging themselves along her bones as the thin electrical cables wrapped around her bones and aligned themselves with her veins. When it seemed as though she was about to collapse, it stopped.  
  
"Well the first parts done. . ." came Zim's non too assuring voice.  
  
Ari panted quietly like a dog in the summer, her spine was tingling in an uncomfortable way, as it should be since two thin metal rods were jammed into it. Although whatever "human-safe" drug he'd injected into her was numbing her body almost completely.  
  
"Now. . .I'm going to have to put you under eh, completely."  
  
"I dunno if I trust you with me if I'm unconscious. . ." she smiled at his reaction.  
  
Zim got flustered and his antennae flew back as a peeved expression conquered his face. "I wouldn't do anything human."  
  
"Oooo back to calling me Human are we? A bit ironic considering what we're doing." she gave him a teasing grin which slowly dragged a smile onto his annoyed face.  
  
"Shut up and lay down already." he held up a large needle full of a bluish silver liquid. "This is capable of putting you out for at least an hour and a half." he paused a took a deep breath. "You realize that. . .that in this type of. . .procedure that anything can go wrong." She kicked her feet as she hopped onto the examination-resembling table.  
  
"Yes. Yes I do. . .Wait-can you clone me?" there was too much eager anxiety to that question.  
  
"Ehhhh yes. . ." he made a suspicious look at Ari.  
  
"Neeeeeeeet." she said to herself grinning.  
  
"Just because I CAN doesn't mean I WILL." He said with an annoyed look on his face.  
  
She paused and stopped to think about this for a moment. "But you COULD."  
  
Zim shook his head, his antennae wiggling as he sighed a bit. "The only reason I can tolerate you more than other people is because your weirdness level-"  
  
"Matches yours?" was the reply he got, accompanied with a grin.  
  
It took Zim a few seconds to get this. "What-HEY!!!" He took a deep breath and decided it was the drugs or her retort-ful side talking. "Just lie down already!" he said, a bit of his enormous temper seizing him for a moment.  
  
Ari shrugged, not all there anyway, and laid stomach-down on the non-too- comfortable table anyway. She folded her arms and rested her head on them, watching Zim twiddle the part that was soon to be "installed" into her spine. Zim said it would allow her ID Pak to function and connect, as it contained everything she would need for her new life-  
  
"Iip!" she squeaked in surprise as Zim had placed the thin needle into her neck. Ari glared playfully almost at him and murmured drowsily, "Good thing I trust you. . ." before letting her head collapse into the safety of her arms.  
  
Zim smiled at this, wondering how many people she had said that to before as he proceeded to carry out the operation.  
  
--=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=That was equally Fast..+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=--  
  
Dib sat on his bed, surrounded by sketches and plans. He had spent the past hours memorizing and perfecting his strategy to get in Zim's base. He let out a deep sigh, it was lonely now. Last year, last year he wasn't lonely.  
  
He glanced over at the phone. The last time he had used it was last year as well. . .Dib closed his eyes for a moment, trying to pretend that she was still here, that he could just pick up that damn phone and dial her number, and he'd hear her voice one more time.  
  
She must've been the first friend he'd ever had that actually seemed to like him, paranormal experiences, the trench coat, everything, Even the not so 20-20 vision.  
  
Dib sighed and swallowed, his eyes would start to glass over if he kept thinking about this. But as he was prone to doing so, he did anyway. That night was still pretty fresh in his mind. He had called her house, no answer. So he had decided to go walk to her house, she didn't live that far away from him. He wanted to talk to her about the large comet he had seen earlier that night, and having nothing better to do he set off.  
  
And there she was, her violet hair and glasses were askew as he saw the large ship in the sky, a bluish beam was sucking her up, she was being taken! Just like her parents. . .Dib had called out to her, she looked at him once more before disappearing into the ship as it vanished.  
  
This memory was far too vivid, Dib choked and laid his head on his arms, once again renewing his vows of vengeance.  
  
"Don't worry Jes. . .I'll find you." 


	15. Cartwheels and Walls

Ohhhh please, someone kill me, put me from my misery! Aghhhh! I have the WORST diseasey type thing ever, I can't breathe.Actually I'm in danger of sneezing myself to death. I haven't been in school since Monday, and since its uh, Thursday that I'm writing this, eh heh heh heh. Before I forget, My Elfwood fan art account thing should be updated! Woo, anyway I think I'll be out for a while, but hey, I check Email everyday, send me something to draw! COME ON! Fanart, anything! ---Can't draw but eh---- Amanda's quote for a while- "Watching Fantasia while sick will NOT make me hallucinate mom! Now get out of here, all four of you!"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------  
  
Bubbles floated rapidly through the watery liquid, each one struggling to reach the surface like birds to the sky. Something underneath the slightly tinted blue liquid thrashed. Suddenly, Jaz sat up coughing and gasping for air. She was breathing heavily and immediately looked at her hands, twitching her finger tips.  
  
She sighed and laid her back against the black tiles on the bathroom wall. "Great . ..its getting worse. . . Damnit!"  
  
Jaz's train of thought derailed itself as Umi pounded on the door.  
  
"JAZZZ, WHERE'R THE BATTERIES!? I KNOW YOU GOT EM!"  
  
She grinned as she reached out of the bathtub, her arms still shaking slightly as she pulled 3 little batteries from her robe pocket. Twiddling them in her palm, she called back "I don't know what you mean Umi. . .Heh heh heh."  
  
"Alllllrighty then, guess Biz'll havta BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!"  
  
Jaz scoffed, "That SIR can't break down MY bathroom door." She looked over to see smoke rising up from under it.Umi's voice was heard again.  
  
"Heh, did I say break? I meant BURN. FASTER BIZ FASTER! EEEHAHAHAHA!"  
  
The shape shifter scrambled about in the water, coughing as the smoke curled around the ceiling fan lazily. Jaz grabbed her robe and threw it on with some slippers. When she opened the near destroyed door, Umi met a sharp cold glare from her deep blue eyes.  
  
"Fetch." she growled, tossing the batteries with a flick of the wrist, they flew through the long hallway, bouncing around, and by the sound of it they didn't want to stop.  
  
Umi made a surprised look at her ability to torment him further.  
  
"I'll get you my prima, AND YOUR LITTLE SIR TOO! EEHEEHEEHEE!" Screeched Umi wildly as he ran to get the batteries which were ages away by now.  
  
"....." Jaz knew better than to try and provoke his crazed wrath, which usually ended chocolate flavored, as she went to change from her robe since her shower had ended so abruptly.  
  
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-*-*-  
  
Twitchy twitch.  
  
Well that's basically all she was doing every five minutes, he'd just have to wait until the effects of the serum totally wore off-  
  
"ACK!" Zim yelled in surprise as one of Ari's legs flew out from under her in he curled position, landing a kick where his stomach would be. Collapsing to the floor in pain, his first thought was revenge, then realized it was Ari. The thought of revenge was still slightly present on his mind as he sighed, still clutching a hand to his middle. He muttered to himself quietly, grabbing the edge of the table Ari laid upon above his head.  
  
"Stupid tweaky human beast. . .Mutter mutter mutter" His gloves tightened as he weakly stood up, still a bit winded as he stared at the floor. When his eyes rose, they found themselves looking into the eyes of Ari, and none too happily.  
  
"I'm not a tweaky human. . .I just twitch a lot." And human she was, in appearance anyway. . .  
  
"!" Zim was surprised at her calm response before dusting himself off, he knew he'd get hell from her for this but eh, it was say for her own good. . .  
  
"Hey Ari, Look over there!" he said dramatically, wiggling an arm to emphasize it.  
  
As the dumber side of her took over and gave in, Zim grabbed a power cable and jammed it into her newly attached Pak. Zim backed away a bit, watching her Pak blink at the power charge. It sounded like everything was working as planned, if you ignored Ari's slight aggravated noises at being somewhat electrocuted. But what she didn't notice while in suffering the aftermath of her surprise attack was that her pigment in her skin was rapidly changing from a light tan to a light green. Not to mention her hair was quickly shrinking back into her skull, it seemed to melt away and un-grow. And now, her fingers, what Zim was most worried about, but the bone seemed to slide back into her hand somewhere and the extra skin just went and sort of absorbed itself until their were only two fingers and a thumb. Zim made a mental note that he should probably unhook the cable, but the blue electricity around her was mesmerizing. . .  
  
It kicked in a bit late but he ran back and ripped the cable from her Pak in time enough to leave a now much greener Ari. She whirled around and twitched.  
  
"What was that for you back stabbing-!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
She slowly retracted her hand from its accusing pointing as she gazed at her hand, twiddling and moving her fingers slowly. Ari sank back, her knees weak as she collapsed into a sitting position, the greatest look of wonder and amazement omnipresent on her face.  
  
A slow smirk crept its way onto Zim's face, not showing the relief that was filling him. After all, this was his first time at doing something this illegal and he was winging it.  
  
Meanwhile Ari still was speechless, but by now she had put a hand to her head and was feeling one of her antennae. Closing her eyes for a moment, either in determination not to make this a sappy moment or because she was so blissfully happy. When she opened her slightly almond shaped blue eyes, they seemed to be glassed over a bit more. Then out of sheer happiness she leapt off the table and latched her arms around Zim.  
  
This wiped the smirk of his face. . .but in a good way.  
  
Ari was mumbling it slightly, but he caught it all the same.  
  
"Its just like a dream come true. . ." she smiled and stopped her hug to look him in the eyes. "And if it is a dream, I sure as hell don't wanna wake up."  
  
Zim made that cocky smile of his. "You may look Irken but you still have the same humany attitude."  
  
"Mrrrrr thanks for ruining the moment." She cracked her back and growled. "Why didn't you just tell me you were going to shove an electrical cord in me? It wouldn't have been so painful. . ."  
  
Zim scoffed as he started walking out of the room. "Nah, it wouldn't have been as funny to see your expression change. Besides, you'd get all tensey." He wiggled his fingers at the last word and walked out of the room, or rather, marched.  
  
Ari watched him walk out of the room, then realized she was one of the most feared races of all the galaxies and skipped out of the room after him, he antennae swaying behind her.  
  
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*In Dib's Room*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-*-  
  
Dib sat on his bed, pulling on a boot with some effort. After a moment where it looked like he would lose the battle, he emerged victorious.  
  
"Hah, human race ONE, stupid non-fitting boot ZERO!" He laughed to himself as the funniness of the joke slowly ebbed away. It wasn't very fun to laugh at something all alone. . .He sighed as he slung his utility backpack on and adorned the rest of his spy gear.  
  
"Today Zim. . .Today I expose you for the hideous creature you are!" he smiled halfsidedly, giving him a rather crazed expression. Gaz snorted as she laid against the frame of his door.  
  
"Gee, the spandex really goes with your obsessive compulsive disorder." was all she said.  
  
"What!? Its not spandex-hey wait, I don't have obsessive compulsive disorder!" he protested angrily.  
  
Gaz sighed, not wanting to recap on any of his past conversations. It was obvious Zim was on his mind much more than usual, and he'd been snapping at everyone if they even hinted at saying something paranormal/zim related. . .the poor weirdo.  
  
"AGH, I'm late! I've only got another 14 minutes to get through the gnome fields before my deactivator runs out! Eeeeeeee-" and with that he scurried out the room.  
  
Gaz shook her head and meandered back into the living room to eat pizza and watch TV.  
  
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*In Jes's Ship*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-  
  
"BRITT!" Jes's voice echoed with happiness as her pink eyed Sir popped its head up above the control panel.  
  
"What is it." she said none too amusedly.  
  
"We're only 4 days from Earth!" she then made little excited noises.  
  
Her Sir gave her a shrewd look, as she'd been doing this EVERY other hour for the past week. "And if we travel HOW fast?"  
  
"Eh, top speed!" Jes gave a cheeky look to her Sir who may have rolled her eyes, it wasn't really an easy thing to tell. "Hey, at least I'm not singing 99,999,999 bottles of Alka-Seltzer!"  
  
"Yea, but you HAVE been saying, 'plop plop fizz fizz Ahh what a relief it is, Alka-seltzer!' for the past 5 hours and-" she check something on her chest plate, "32 minutes and 46, 47. . .48. . .49. . .50 seconds-"  
  
The Irken blinked. "I could have SWORN I was humming it half the time. . ."  
  
Britt knew this was not going to be a very fun road trip. . .  
  
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-At the Massive-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-  
  
Irkens scurried in all directions, those of higher rank were working on their bad pickup lines, everyone was trying to find someone to invite for the Irken Alumni Invader Ball thingy, as it had been dubbed. They all knew that you looked like a square if you come alone, and no one wanted to be a square right?  
  
"Mmmrrrmph."  
  
"Mmph?" came a confused sounding reply.  
  
Basically the scene was the two Tallests sitting on their asses seeing who could fit more doughnut holes in their mouth. So far, Purple was winning by the looks of it.  
  
Suddenly, Zim's face popped up on the screen, Red choked by Purple coughed into a bag.  
  
"ZIM?" came the unhappily surprised exclamation.  
  
"The one and only!"  
  
The two sighed, obviously Jaz wasn't there yet. "What do you want now Zim? We told you your request for vomiting space slugs was denied a while ago."  
  
"What! WHO DARES DENY ME MY SLUGS? I mean, I was just wondering if I conquered Earth before the Invader Alumni thingy that I could eh. . .come?"  
  
The two tallest struggled to hold back snickers, the irony of this would be that Zim would not longer exist by the time it arrived anyway, so why not?  
  
"Sure Zim, you can come. As long as your planet's conquered somehow." said Purple rather sharply.  
  
Zim did nothing but grin at this, which frankly scared the Tallest a bit more than he usually did.  
  
"Oh you'll see my leaders, I have a beautiful plan. . .MUAWHAHAHAHAHA!" His laugh deepened into a sinisterly evil growl.  
  
Purple raised a concerned eyebrow as he gave Red an uneased look. Red shrugged back and continued to watch Zim smirk and snicker to himself.  
  
"Uhh Zim?" Red finally voiced.  
  
"Hey what-?! Ohhhh heh heh, I thought I hit the transmission, bye my tallests! MUAWHAHAHA!" And the screen went black.  
  
Meanwhile, Ari was doing cartwheels around the lab in her sheer happiness.  
  
"Wow, its like I'm all limbery like, I never could do a cartwheel before without hitt-"  
  
WOOMPH!  
  
"Owwww.WHO IN HELL PUT A WALL HERE!?  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------  
  
Sorry for the shortness! HAHAHAH IM IN DISNEY WORLD WITH JAZ! WE'RE DOING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!EXCELLENT! 


	16. A Collision Course and the Not So Geat E...

Hey. My life is dying, rapidly. I found a bottle of sleeping pills. That's good. Almost "accidentally" overdosed because of family stupidity. God, if only you all could see what I see and do what I do. But then again, the world would be a much worse place if you did. Anyway, sorry for the lack of update in a while. I truly, truly am. -----------------  
  
Before Zim could snicker at Ari's newfound concrete friend, an alarm rang out.  
  
"Warning-Intruder Found on Base Grounds, proceeding to underground entrance Number 6!"  
  
Zim growled to himself as he leaped from the chair and ran past the body of Ari laying dazed on the ground. He snarled the word "Dib" before dashing out of the room and to the elevator.  
  
Tapping his foot impatiently as the elevator's tingly music played, ruining the mood for a chase altogether, Zim issued an order to lock down all other entrances and begin searching for Dib. Soon, a little blob of body heat was located down in sector G.  
  
"THAT'S MY FAVORITE SECTOR!" Came the squeaky voice of Gir.  
  
Zim double took after shouting in surprise. "Gir? How did you- Eh never mind. NOW, go and fetch me the Dib!" he said ecstatically pointing out of the elevator. The robot flashed its eyes a shade of red before wildly screaming and skipping off to catch his prey.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Dib nervously looked around, a horrible screeching noise could be heard, and it was getting louder. He ducked behind a trashcan of sorts and whipped out a small black ball. Tossing it into the little robots' path, he ducked low as Gir's footsteps paused.  
  
"Girrrrrr. . . . GIRRRR. . . ." He said in a spooky long drawn out voice.  
  
The robot continued to space off, holding the ball in its hand.  
  
After several more attempts, Dib gave up. "Oh for crying out loud, GIR! Yea, you, little robot!" he exasperatedly said as Gir looked paranoid and transfixed himself to the black ball.  
  
"Mmmmmmyeeeeessssss???" was the late answer.  
  
"Take the shiny ball to Zim. He will uh. . .reward you for it."  
  
Gir looked excited beyond all reason. "Con taquitos y las orejas de los cercos gordos!?" Switching languages was a bad result of him watching the new show Nickelodeon had decided to air, Muzzy. Dib looked puzzled, but he had no time to waste, as Zim's footsteps were growing closer.  
  
"Ehh Si, con botas y el nariz de una jirafa! Ahora, andale! Andale!!!" Dib tried to quiet his voice as Zim rounded the corner at a run.  
  
"What was that noise? And what's this Zim hears about a jirafa!?" he said, panting as Dib huddled behind his Trashcan of Salvation.  
  
Gir merely smiled and shoved the ball close to Zim's face. Dib grinned at his look of confusion and smashed his fist into a small control panel clutched in his hand. Zim's outburst was ignored as a large flash issued from the object in Gir's hands. Zim gasped and stumbled backwards as the Dib grabbed the black ball as it rolled towards him.  
  
"Aghh! What WAS that!" he hissed, rubbing his eyes, unaware of his long time enemy standing before him.  
  
Dib smiled evilly as he stepped from behind the trashcan. "It was just a neat way of temporarily blinding you and snapping picture of your ugly green face at the same time Zim."  
  
He paled at the sound of Dib's voice so close, but he was right. Zim's eyes weren't functioning, that flash definitely messed with his optic implants or something. His antennae twitched as he tried to sense where Dib was, but the pitter patting and beeping noises that were echoing in the lab weren't helping.  
  
"DIB! Get out of my lab! Before I'm forced to set my minions on you!" he glared around, unable to see still, but things where getting better, vague dark shapes were appearing. Zim's antennae twitched once more.  
  
Dib glanced down to Gir, who was drooling stupidly as he squeezed a moose toy repetitively.  
  
"Your going to use HIM to attack me?" his voice was shrewd and unwavering.  
  
Zim smiled. Not a sheepish smile, or an embarrassed one either, the kind of smile that someone gives you when they know something you don't. His teeth lined up in a Cheshire cat resembling grin.  
  
"What are you smiling about Zim." came the sneered reaction to Zim's smile.  
  
"I wasn't thinking of using Gir."  
  
Even though Zim couldn't see Dib's face, he knew what it must have looked like as Ari came up behind him, putting an arm around his neck and holding him there.  
  
"Aww Zim, were you thinking of me?" was what broke the short silence.  
  
That was very familiar, but he couldn't figure out who it belonged to. . .Dib tried to turn his head to see his captor, but their grip was too tight, breathing itself wasn't an easy task.  
  
Zim grinned, his sight was returning quicker now, the optic implants must have rebooted almost fully by now. "Yes yes, be flattered. What do you say we bring him to the lab and experiment on him?"  
  
Dib gagged as the grip convulsively tightened for a second or two. Before Ari could respond, Dib ripped himself from her grasp as he writhed and thrashed.  
  
Ari subconsciously reached for her knife, but gravely remembered that Zim had told her to take off all her weapons before the operation. Oh well, just another fist fight then. Ari's antennae wavered on their own as Dib stood gazing at her and Zim in an old fashioned stare-down.  
  
He nearly ordered the question, saying his enemy's name with spite. "Who's this Zim?! Call for help from your home planet?" There may have been a slight bit of a sneer in his voice as he said the last part.  
  
Ari snarled, her lip curling as she tried not to rip him to pieces, he was well out of leaping range, so pinning him and beating the life out of him wasn't an option. Somewhere in the back of her mind rang that tinny annoying voice, "Don't kill him, Don't kill him, he's your brother he's your brother-" She shook her head savagely like a dog when its wet, blinking slowly as the voice faded out. Zim was smiling again.  
  
"Need me to introduce you to someone you already know? You humans really ARE as stupid as she says. . ." Zim nodded to Ari who smirked and took over, the look of surprise and confusion on Dib's face was priceless.  
  
"Don't you recognize me Dib? It really hasn't been that long since we last talked." Ari sneered, her antennae flying back as her eyes narrowed.  
  
The unsuspecting human's eyes widened in shock, finally recognizing the voice, not to mention the sneer was a bit familiar as well.  
  
"Ari!?" his voice was full of disbelief. "What have you done?" it wasn't really a question directed to Ari the way he looked back and forth from Zim to Ari.  
  
"I improved her." said Zim simply.  
  
As if what Ari had just said was now getting through his big head, he may have done a slight mental twitch. "Talked!? Last time you nearly gutted me! Like a salmon!" Dib's hands were outstretched fists, his fingers twitching as he remembered what had happened. Zim looked rather amused at this and thought to himself, "I wonder just how badly she did kick Dib's ass-" he shook his head at the human term "Eh, I mean, inflict damage upon him. . . Yea." His mental conversation ended when Ari started snickering.  
  
"Hehehe, Yea. . .But I could've done worse things to you. Much worse."  
  
Dib gave her a shrewd look and a blatant response. "Like what."  
  
Ari had to think for a moment, "Just because I can't think of one now doesn't mean I couldn't then." she crossed her arms and looked away from him.  
  
Dib scoffed, the cloud of terror in his mind lessoned enough for him to make a snide remark. "I think you've spent too much time with Zim, he's rubbing off on you."  
  
Zim glared before the thing cable snaked down from the ceiling and wrapped itself around the 14 year old boy's humanly body. Zim seemed to mutter something about his computer's late intruder reactions as he walked up to be face to face with his long time foe. Ari figured she'd let them be alone for a moment, not wanting to ruin the moment with her presence. . .That happened a lot with her. Her footsteps faded as he turned and walked off to find Gir.  
  
Dib wiggled and squirmed, but like an electric python the cable squeezed him at every escape attempt he made. Dib stopped after a few futile tries and shot a venomous look to Zim and hissed, "You'll never get away with this Zim, no matter how hard you try." he glanced over as Ari left and narrowed his eyes, a smile flitting across his face. "Or how low you stoop for that reason."  
  
Zim's antennae flew back as his eyes widened when he got what Dib meant. "I have not 'stooped' to any low, she admits she's a worthless human and was able to help me finish off my final plans on destroying you and your stupid planet." Zim smirked at the thought of the earth of fire with people running and screaming.  
  
"Wait, your TRUSTING a human? And somehow by your standards that's not sinking to a new low. You don't make any sense Zim, you never did and you never will." Dib looked away, trying to slip his hand into his pocket.  
  
Zim growled and restrained himself from hitting Dib, being the good chance he'd miss and hit the cable and somehow with a massive amount of unfortune free Dib by mistake.  
  
"Silence you pathetic creature, I tire of your stupid dribble of conversation attempts. Besides, she's an Irken now, not a stinking human anymore." Zim seemed to add the last bit on quickly, as if trying to make a bad excuse for trusting her.  
  
Ari found Gir sucking a tube of honey in the elevator by now, and decided to carry him back to Zim for no apparent reason. She arrived just in time to hear what Dib had to say. "That's your excuse?! She is no Irken, she's a human, Just Like Me. She'll always be a human, she was born a human, she'll live her whole life as a human, then-"  
  
"I will probably die a slow painful death, and in my last agonizing breaths I will have the honor of knowing that somehow I helped the greatest species ever to exist in destroying this god forsaken world we live in."  
  
Dib has paused when he saw her enter holding the for once silent Gir. The human made a twisted face, as if trying to figure out what the hell Ari really was. All he could say in response was,  
  
"Your sick Ari. Somewhere along the way you got messed up," he looked down for a moment, trying to figure out what to say next, "and I don't think anyone can ever fix you." He shook his head as if it were a pity.  
  
Zim was really just sort of sitting there in the background now, watching the events unfold as Gir sat next to him playing airplane with a toy moose and a duster.  
  
Ari closed her eyes for a moment and made a small click, like a tsk but sadder. "Dib, did you ever think that some of us weren't meant to be fixed?"  
  
Dib had almost gotten an arm free by now, he squinted an eye in confusion.  
  
"What? That doesn't make any sense! You don't make sense!" his face contortioned as he strained his mind for the right words. "You-you speak in riddles or something! Why do I get called crazy when people like you exist!?"  
  
"Heh, now who's speaking nonsense?" She smirked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Exactly." A cruel smile and a narrow of the eyes, maybe she truly was crazy, maybe just weird, but as Ari had always told herself growing up, she was just different. Never special, never unique, hell no. She was different and that was about the only thing she really knew about herself.  
  
Zim smirked as he watched Ari play mind games with Dib, although the quick nonsensical retorts were starting to make his head hurt.  
  
The alien yawned and decided to make things a bit clearer for the human. "Ari, tell him why you think all the humans should be dispatched. Maybe it'll be a simple enough explanation to get through his big head."  
  
Ari sighed and bowed to Zim, an act she'd taken a liking to.  
  
Before Ari could begin her reasons of woe, Dib interrupted.  
  
"Look Ari, I'm not too proud of what my uh, species has done and all, but that doesn't mean you have to help obliterate it!" He sounded like he was trying to achieve a convincing tone but then failed horribly. But while his persuasive attempts were failing, his hands weren't. The computer must have spaced off, as now his arm was almost completely free behind his back.  
  
"Pah! Why can't you accept the fact that the human race should fall!? This worthless planet is just a breeding ground for vermin now! Mankind has completely screwed himself over, and I for one am sick of it." Ari stepped away as Zim motioned for her to step down. "Its time for the human race to fall Dib, and the Irken Empire to rise."  
  
----------------------------In Jes's voot cruiser--------------------------- -------  
  
Buttons were frantically being smashed in vain, controls whizzed and whirred out of control. Britt was in the background screaming her head off as the curly antennae Irken in front tried desperately to regain control.  
  
Sparks flew from Britt's head as the atmospheric damage took place, Jes wishing she'd still be alive to see her next birthday-but at the moment couldn't quite remember when it was. All too soon, -CRUNCH!  
  
------------------------------------At the Base----------------------------- ------  
  
Zim's death glare and traditional speech of victory was over before it begun as his legs quaked. Something had struck the Earth not more than a mile from the base.  
  
"Ari! Bring up what just happened on the computer monitor!" Zim commanded.  
  
Obediently tapping the controls on the keyboard, a smoldering black thing was soon on the screen among the wreckage of a former house on Zim's block. She could just barely make out the Irken Symbol on the scorched left engine.  
  
"Hey Zim. . .Its an Voot cruiser." she said oddly, squinting at the picture.  
  
The vengeful alien looked a bit unnerved and surprised, angry that his speech was ruined but also curious. Was the Armada finally coming?  
  
Dib wrenched his other arm free, scraping it up a bit but it didn't matter now. Pushing himself out like a cork in a wine bottle, he fell to the floor and took off running for the nearest exit he could remember. Zim's yells to the computer sent wires and cables shooting after her like tentacles, but surprisingly enough he reached the emergency escape route he had planned out. After a few minutes of dark space and storage compartments, Dib finally found the way to the sunlight. He grinned and congratulated himself as he reached for the black camera ball, only to find it was nowhere to be found.  
  
Gir sat unnoticeably in the corner of the lab while Zim fumed and took off running with Ari, chewing not so silently on the black toy that Dib had dropped. It flashed once or twice in his mouth, giving it a tingly feeling. He giggled insanely, which ended up in his little robot jaws clamping down on it and spraying film all over the place.  
  
Jes groaned as she stood from the wreckage of her ship. She whistled and a rather tipsy looking Britt popped out of the junk pile. She stared at her ruined ship for a moment, not remembering to put on a disguise. A panting noise became louder as Zim's lilac colored lenses met her dark colored eyes. A slight gasp for a moment, or maybe just an extra oxygen intake was heard.  
  
"Who-Who are you?" he panted, having given up the chase for Dib and deciding getting to the Irken Ship was more important anyway.  
  
Jes made a smile and looked away. "What's the matter with you? Can't you recognize an old friend when you see one?"  
  
-----------------  
  
Bum Bum bum! Next chapter! Ari may get jealous! Jaz will be in it! Sorry about that, bit of a rush to get the story-not sucking as much level so I had to shove some info and bla bla bla in it. Anyway, I think the next chapter should have baloney in it. Mmmm. And you know Dib'll do something, cuz I'm the author of this junk and I control him. Oh, HUGE alice in wonderland roleplay over the week, I drew Muchos Picturas for it, I'll upload them onto my fan quarter account soon! Yay! 


	17. Sunglasses and Paris Sights

Agh. . .sorry. --------------------  
  
"Finally!" Jaz was ecstatic as she peered down through the ship's front window.  
  
"I see the earth! The horrible ball of blue and green! We're FINALLY here!" she was grinning, her long though not curled antennae wiggling as she grinned. "Its about damn time."  
  
Umi was balancing a biscuit like thing on an antenna as she said this. "That's good, because I used allele of the last of the cheese flavored gruel up."  
  
Jaz twitched and slowly turned to face him. "And HOW, pray tell, did you use 3 and a half TUBS of the stuff???  
  
He just grinned and used an odd shifty tone. "Oh you'd be surprised at all the uses one can find. . . .for gruel." This was ended in a crazed grin while Jaz back away from her cousin.  
  
"Yeeeaaaaahh. . ." her hand was absentmindedly moving to the open airlock button so as to rid herself of the crazed Tanzirian. "Ignoring your odd tone of voice and shifty looks, I'm going to do my best to land on that pitiful thing those creatures call a planet. . .Ember, lock landing controls onto destination."  
  
The black and gold sir bounced obediently to the controls and set coordinates for Zim's supposed location. Umi peered over her shoulder and watched, playing the "hit random buttons when the Sir isn't looking" game. A classic.  
  
Unknowing to what Umi just did, Jaz issued her orders. "Ember! Enable the cloaking device and land on Zim's house. And if you can't manage that then try and aim for a field or something.. ."  
  
Umi giggled madly, imagining what it would look like if Zim's house was suddenly crushed into a million little pieces whilst Ember silently pulled a lever or two.  
  
The ship lurched forwards a bit before zooming off towards its destined landing spot. . .  
  
-----------------------------At The Mighty and Confused Zim's House--------- -----------------  
  
Ari blinked, an antennae twitching on its own accord every now and then as Zim and Jes ecstatically reminisced about old times.  
  
"It's been so long. . .Is it just me or are you a tiny bit taller?" She asked, cocking her head to the side to look at him better.  
  
He grinned. "Planet's atmosphere helped. Not like I wasn't before. . ." Jes snorted and rolled her eyes. "Oh yea Zim, you were clearly in danger of becoming the next Tallest."  
  
He gave a wry look. "Why're you here anyway?" Zim gasped, "The Tallests aren't replacing me are they!? Not when I'm so close!" He started panicking.  
  
Jes waved her arms and tried to calm him down. "No, you've got it all wrong. I'm sick of Irk, Red treats me like a piece of shnit. . .calling me the abducted project gone wrong and whatnot. . .I wanted to come home."  
  
Zim blinked. "Oh. . .That makes more sense I suppose-Eh?"  
  
Jes had kneeled a bit and hugged him tight. "I really missed you Zim. . .But, I gotta go! There's someone I want to find! See you later Zim! You'll have to introduce me to your friend anotha' time!" And she took off, her hologram blinking on as she grabbed her Sir under her arm.  
  
Ari blinked before dousing her voice in shrewd curiosity. "Who was THAT?"  
  
Zim shrugged and waved her question off. "Old friend. Now hurry, I've procrastinated enough! The week for domination is. . .This one!"  
  
"This WEEK?! Are you craz-" she sighed. "As you wish."  
  
Zim laid out his plans to her, how he had completely forgotten about his Labor Slaves, the massive machines used in the failed Santa idea. He'd use these eventually, somehow shoving them into his plan.  
  
The plan he had created now was to unleash his wave of diseasey brain sucking parasites, although now he had shrunk them down to the size of a tick. Already he had been launching tubs of the creatures into the oceans where they were tainting the waters, making them deadly for mankind, and those who didn't have access would catch the disease sooner or later. He also had some DoomLaser involved along with an army of Sewer-Gophers, but they were just his backups.  
  
He grinned in pride at Ari's confused expression. "I wonder how many times the plan for world conquest has been changed so far. . ." she murmured before snapping to attention again.  
  
"Now my Irken partner, go down and ensure that the computer has the antidote for the Brain sucking parasites, I do not wish to be felled by my own creation!. . .Again."  
  
Ari bowed and ran off, her antenna bobbing as she skidded along the halls. The alien laughed to himself. "Soon, once I have tapped into the worlds broadcasting system, ALL SHALL KNOW OF ZIM!"  
  
--------------------------------At the Membrane Household------------------- ---------------  
  
Dib sighed dejectedly, his plan had failed again.  
  
"Sometimes I'm no better than Zim. . ." he sighed again and rolled over, face down in his pillow. He looked around his room, tabloids reading "Man Captured By Bigfoot Tells All" and "Paper Plates or Saucer Demons?" adorned his floor while his computer made soft bleeps from the screensaver.  
  
Before he had a chance to depress himself, the doorbell rang. He leapt out of his bed, his nerves still rather tensed from being caught by Zim. He slid down the banister and hit the door, reminding himself that he needed to work on that.  
  
He muttered, Zim had probably come to rub it in his face how he had failed once again at exposing him. Fun. Opening the door he found a girl around 14 with choppy violet hair to match her dark blue eyes. He gaped, his mouth open as she grinned. Taking her hands out of her trench coat pockets, she wrapped them around him in a hug.  
  
"Jes?! What, no, how-?! You're gone! Wait, that doesn't make sense, because you're here! But you were before, but you aren't now, but how did you-" he was classically rambling.  
  
"I missed you."  
  
Before long the two had stepped inside, and Jes was once more forced into intricate (because it was Dib) detail on how she was abducted by an Irken Planet Scout Ship, experimented on, basically seeing if the human race was close enough gene wise to turn Irken.  
  
Dib gasped and widened his eyes at all different parts of her story, before she had finished he growled, "Those HORRIBLE aliens! I can't believe what they did to you! Evil monsters-"  
  
"Ahem. . .Uh Dib, I think there's something you should know. . ." Jes pressed the button on her "watch", her hologram flickered off.  
  
Dib's eyes widened the most at this part of the story.  
  
----------------------------------------In A Mighty Cornfield--------------- ------------------------  
  
"I can't BELIEVE this. We land in a field of vegetation approximately what, 20,000 earth miles AWAY from the destination? WE'RE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME COUNTRY!" ranted Jaz.  
  
"Sacre Bloo Jaz, joo 'ave got too leeve a leetal!" Umi said, downloading the Human language. He was busy tapping buttons on the costume maker, a cyan spiky haired boy with sunglasses, and at this point was looking pretty waldo-ish due to the country's fashion.  
  
Jaz blinked and snorted back a laugh. As a human form, she brushed her deep red hair out of her face, herself now clad in black garments and a little French hat, just to blend in.  
  
Sighing, she gave one last look to the near useless ship before grabbing her cousin's hand and walking away. About 20 minutes later, the ship had been given its command to self destruct.  
  
"Come on Umi. . .We have a longgggggg way to go."  
  
-------------------------------------The Next Day-wooo---------------------- ---------------------  
  
They odd pair had done something truly different now. Breaking into a closed for holiday (tapioca-day) news station was by far the weirdest thing Ari had ever done.  
  
"Am I on? Ari? Ari are you listening to me?!" Zim blinked, peeved. He grabbed a toy moose and chucked it at her, squeaking as it met her head.  
  
"Oh, what? Oh sorry Zim, hehehe I spaced off. . ." She shrugged her shoulders cheekily.  
  
" -.- " was basically his expression. "Just finish changing those cables, we should be able to tap into this human broadcasting channel before their news programs come on, then all shall be known to Zim. . .Ari, be ready for the backup plan-"  
  
"I DON'T wanna wear this." she protested.  
  
"Do it Ari, you need to look innocent and lovable. . .Even I don't think your capable of pulling it off."  
  
She stepped out of the shadows wearing a bright blue shirt with a big happy face saying LIFE ROCKS! And a pair of blue jean shorts with other random signs of happiness on them.  
  
"I loathe you at times."  
  
"Fine fine, are you done yet?"  
  
Ari checked her watch. "You're going to be on the air on channel 5 in 4 seconds."  
  
"What!? Alright-dim the lights!" He spat as he ran to face the camera.  
  
"Ahem, my fellow earthlings! A horrible plague of brain sucking parasites is infecting the whole world. . .We think it's probably from. . .ehh. . .Paris."-Zim ignored the 'God that was lame' that was murmured in the background- "No need to worry though, as long as you drink plenty of ocean water and play in sewers, you'll be fine. Oh, I almost forgot the mention that the brain sucking parasites enjoy the taste of wheat, and human flesh. Bye bye! IRKEN ARMADA FOREVER!"  
  
Ari looked at him with a shrewd look. "You needn't have put that last part in there."  
  
"Yea but its my planet for conquering and I felt like saying it. So nyah." he stuck his tongue out at her.  
  
"Oh whatever. . .Now all I suppose we have to do is wait for it to spread. . .Some more."  
  
---------------------------------------2 DAYS AFTER THAT-------------------- ------------------  
  
"Well, the human race is actually dwindling and all the wheat fields are gone. Asia and Spain are nearly desecrated and Japan's taking it as we speak. Australia and Indonesia seem to be the only ones really putting up a fight against it. It's spread halfway across the US and is still rapidly heading towards us. And still the human scientists cannot seem to figure out the cure. . ." Ari finished shutting off the TV.  
  
Zim was pacing. "Its taking too long. . .Alright, you know what you have to do."  
  
She froze. "Oh no, I don't WANNA. I despise that outfit and what your forcing me to do in it."  
  
He tapped his foot impatiently, it was around 4 in the afternoon and a hot June day.  
  
Sighing, she grabbed Gir's paw and a random balloon. "I hate you for this Zim. . ." she murmured as he fixed his wig.  
  
"That's ok I forgive you. Now hurry and grab your box for soap and let us begin!"  
  
"-what!? Forgive ME-agh whatever." Ari moaned and grabbed her soapbox and balloon while Zim attached a leash to Gir.  
  
Soon, people were crowded around Ari and Zim, Ari on the soapbox, hair in pigtails.  
  
"My fellow people! Have you not heard of the disease!? This brave and handsome boy here has the answer!"  
  
Random people shouted out, "A cure?" "A new holiday?" "Shunning?"  
  
Ari blanked. "Uh, no! Just like in the movies, he has built a maggggical space ship-or seven- to take us away to a far away planet! Called. . .Snickers." The crowd ooo-ed and awed, none seemed undaunted by this crazy idea. If only Dib had been there to stop them. . .  
  
"NOW, If you'd all kindly step into the air conditioned Labor Slaves,-which on planet Snickers means happy happy fun time ship- we can begin the countdown to a brand new happy life!" She ended with waves and blown kisses along with Gir who helped.  
  
"Let us all madly stampede into the Happy Happy Fun Tim Ship!" yelled one man who was trampled with the crowd as they ran up the ramps. As the doors shut, all of the downtown city was inside.  
  
"Now. . .would you like to set the destination point Ari?" he asked, controller in hand.  
  
She sat on her soapbox and sighed. "No, I would rather watch."  
  
And the two of them adorned sunglasses, as you should never look directly at the sun.  
  
-----------------------------------BUM BUM BUM------------------------------ ----------------  
  
Yes, I am rather evil. I am also incredibly late in updating. Sorry for that. Mmmyep. I have a new art account though, many pics of Tij. I love him. So does Eeveesama, but in a different way. Heeheheh. I like candy. Art account, here-  
  
  
  
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I am so lonely. 


	18. Tij's Part And The Possible Mutiny?

Mmmmmmm Klondike. --------------------------------------  
  
The Earth was an alien world to Gir, fat humans no longer romped the streets or lazed about in the sun, suddenly his neighbors had packed up and left for a place untouched by the disease, animals ran wild unaffected by the plague, nearly two thirds of the city he called home was abandoned, wrecked and showed signs of riot.  
  
Was this still the Earth?  
  
The robot peered out a window, sitting on his friend Pig to gain some height.  
  
"I'm gonna go get some pizzzzzza!" he said excitedly, immediately forgetting about the desolate land he was staring out at. "AyehopeBlooaty'sisopenPig!" Merging the words together quickly, he grabbed the pig over his head and ran off, not feeling the need to disguise himself.  
  
Think. If this had had an effect on Gir, no matter how small or how short, think of what it did to Dib. . .  
  
--------------------------Speaking of which-------------------------  
  
The human boy, a hero countless times, had failed. He stood in his doorway devastated. Rats and dogs ran freely though the streets and into empty houses, windows and shutters left open like dead eyes.  
  
Jes wasn't taking it as hard as he was, but she definitely was shocked.  
  
"He. . .he's actually succeeding. . ." she murmured, looking at the tire tracks in the streets and the trash that littered them.  
  
"I can't believe it Jes. . .HOW?! He must have been doing this project all along, and all the others that I screwed with weren't even the right ones!? I can't believe it! He must have been plotting this for months! And all with the help of my own species!? How could she do this!? How is someone so evil!? HOW!?" He was ranting, nearly breaking down on the inside it seemed. After all, nearly the entire city had been diseased, moved, or been unfortunately launched into the sun. Dib sank to his knees in the grass outside his house.  
  
"I'm sorry Dib. . .At least your family hasn't been affected by the disease. . .I suppose all we can do now is to try and find a cure. . ." she said, knowing she was skating on thin ice by changing the subject slightly.  
  
He leapt to his feet. "YEA! Its not too late, maybe we can find a cure and persuade people to try it! But quickly! Were losing time! TO MY DAD'S LAB!" Dib regained his hope and dashed back to the house, Jes following and making sure to lock the doors. Dib ran down the steps to his basement, where his father's lab was. He looked around and didn't see him, typical. Even in Earth's time of need he was too busy. . .While Dib was pondering these thoughts, he sifted through the shelves, gathering gloves, beakers, goggles, and other things he thought would be necessary. He and Jes had a lot of work to do. . .Not to mention he was also dealing with the immense load of shock, first his assumed dead best friend reappears on his doorstep, then turns out she's the same race as his arch nemesis, THEN Zim actually SUCCEEDS in ridding himself of the human race!? It was INSANITY!  
  
As the boy's mind raced, he shut a heavy cabinet door on his finger, dropping the beaker he was removing from it. He kneeled and sucked on his finger a bit, wondering slightly what was taking Jes so long, probably locking the windows as well. The lab was silent, except for a soft ticking noise. . .Wait. . .there were no clocks in the lab.  
  
Dib looked up and quit babying his finger. A soft nearly inaudible hum of. . .gears was down in the lab with him. . ."I never heard a machine like that down here before. . ."  
  
Suddenly he realized that alone in his fathers lab made him uneasy, the shadows the tall filing cabinets and odd beakers cast strange shapes on the floor. He spun around slowly, in circles, turning his head to identify what direction the sound was coming from.  
  
Before he knew what had happened, something hit him from behind and knocked the poor kid to his chest on the floor and grabbed his trench coat and pulled it over his head. Now whoever his attacker was was sitting in front of him holding his trench coat over his head, not allowing him to move much.  
  
In a slow calm, whisper he heard, "I'll help you. . . if you. . .help. . . Me."  
  
Dib gave a muffled "Alright!" before scrambling backwards and flipping his trench coat up.  
  
The confused and slightly asphyxiated boy sat up and brushed his hair out of his eyes, trying to get a good look at the person in front of him.  
  
"MONSTER!" was what directed his attention to Jes, standing on the stairs holding her gun, the shadowy figure was shot multiple times, its body being flung limply into the shadows of the lab.  
  
"JES WAIT-. . . . . " He raised a hand as if to warn her and winced. "Never mind. . ."  
  
Jes walked down the stairs putting tossing her gun behind her in distaste. "What. . . .?"  
  
"I thought you didn't like guns. . ." he gave her a questioning look.  
  
"I don't. But I wasn't in range of a close attack on. . .whateva' that thing is. What is it?" A growl was heard as the figure sat up on his haunches, its dim red eyes giving a rather pissed expression.  
  
"I'd appreciate. . .it if you'd stop calling. . .me and it." he winced and stepped into the light.  
  
Jes and Dib were stunned that he was alive. "How did you. . .?"  
  
"My name is Tij. . .And you now have a deal to uphold."  
  
---------------------------------Back at Zim's Lab-------------------------- ------------------  
  
The alien was smirking to himself as he cocked a large Vortian gun. "Come Ari, we must make the final rounds of this worthless city! I don't want any remaining humans in it, and I KNOW that Dib isn't going to be taken out by the disease as easily as the others. . ."  
  
Ari grinned as she was tossed a gun by Zim. She turned it over and examined it, "You know I dislike using guns, they're so much cheaper than combat with blades. . ."  
  
"Too bad Ari, the human race isn't going to take their annihilation easily, and most normal humans don't use swords. . ." he tossed off his wig and contacts. "This charade ends now."  
  
The used to be human girl blinked slowly, seeing a different side of Zim lately. Not to mention herself, having the weight of helping destroy the human race on her shoulders? It was just a dream before, but now she was thinking. . .maybe it should've stayed that way. . .But she'd always correct herself and the hatred would boil up inside of her again.  
  
Her eyes unglazed themselves as Zim's voice popped her thoughts again. "Ari, are your going to stay Irken now? Your human disguise is no longer needed."  
  
She clenched her jaw as she shook her head. "Not yet. I'd like to see the looks on their faces as a human if you don't mind."  
  
He shrugged. "Fine, but let us move now! Before the sewer gophers roam the streets!"  
  
Ari smirked as she cocked her gun and heard the satisfying click as it began to charge up. "Let us go."  
  
----------------------------------------In France somewhere----------------- ----------------------  
  
Jaz recoiled as a man came up to her frothing, screaming, "ITS NIBBLING MY BRAIN!" and collapsed in front of her.  
  
"We've been on this planet 5 days and I LOATHE all its inhabitants already. . ." Umi walked behind her, now wearing a fake French mustache and wearing a black trench coat to hide the many pastries he had stolen in his pockets.  
  
"Jaz, I am disturb-ed by the many frothing people in these streets. . .Where are my beautiful women!?" he whimpered, chewing on a sticky bun.  
  
Jaz shot him a quizzical look. "Umi please don't do my the honor of giving me mental images. . .besides they're not even our SPECIES."  
  
He shrugged that off, "We'd work it out."  
  
Jaz sighed in exasperation as she threw some people out of their jeep. "Get in Umi, this motor thing should get us farther. . .Wish I knew what they ran on though, its annoying having to just switch every time it dies. . ." The shifter yawned and hit the gas, the dark purple jeep screeching off into the distance.  
  
---------------------------------At the Membrane Household------------------ --------------------  
  
"Wait, so what do you want in return?" Jes asked warily, not trusting the "T.I.U." After all, it was a creation of Zim's and had just nearly suffocated Dib. . .  
  
He growled in displeasure, more speech. "I need a part from your voot as it's painful for me to speak."  
  
Dib gave a confused look. "That's IT? You'll get us the antidote for THAT!?"  
  
Tij snorted and hissed, "I can easily make it more."  
  
Jes was still untrusting of the blue furry robot. "And if I get this to you, we'll make a trade and you'll be on our side?"  
  
"I will take no one's side. I suggest you get me that part or I may change my mind in helping you." he paused and smashed through the basement window and sat on the ground outside. His face appeared in the window, "Have it by 6:45 pm, no later. Or I'll eat it, then kill you both."  
  
Dib paled a bit and nodded. Tij disappeared from the window and Jes made a wry face. "I don't trust that thing one bit."  
  
Dib sighed. "I don't either, but as long as he keeps up his end of the deal I couldn't care less. Lets go to your ship and try and find the part. . ."  
  
Jes nodded and teleported the two to the wreckage of her voot.  
  
"O.O Wow, what did you DO to this thing?!" "IT CRASHED! Thanks to Britt-speaking of which where did she run off to?"  
  
Dib shrugged, he only remembered the robot giving itself a faint introduction before wandering off around his house. Ignoring the absence of the SIR, the two began shuffling through the remnants of Jes's ship, hoping to find the one tiny piece that could help them save the world.  
  
--------------------------------------God that last line was corny---------- -------------------------  
  
The robot slinked through Zim's lab, the artificial skin folding back over its now three acid filled spikes, melting a hole in the lower wall of Zim's house required some work. Tij wasn't worried though, firstly because he really wasn't programmed to, and secondly because they were already at work reforming.  
  
Snooping around, he constantly snorted in disgust, the scent of Zim was surrounding him like a horrible cloud.  
  
"Sickening." he muttered to himself, his throat sparking on the inside.  
  
After a few minutes of crude searching, with the help of some partially working X ray scanning of the base, the robot found an odd room that was temperature controlled and locked.  
  
Making an annoyed and exasperated noise, he made his way slowly down the halls until he came to the comically large door reading, "Parasitic Plague of Diseasy Doom-Antidote Inside."  
  
He quirked a brow and opened the door. Inside were three large vials of antidote in a cooling container with some syringes on a table next to it. Ari and Zim must already have injected themselves with it. He snorted again and grabbed a vial, making sure the stopper was in place before grabbing it carefully in his jaws and leaving the cold room.  
  
------------------------------------  
  
Jes popped up, surrounded by partly melted and unusable machinery from her voot, which now lay completely taken apart in pieces around her. Dib popped up too, he had had no luck in finding this alleged piece.  
  
"Get it??" he asked, pulling back a slightly ripped sleeve to glance at his watch, it said 3:16 PM.  
  
"Yep!" She grinned and brushed purple hair from her face with one hand while the other gripped the part tightly. Dib peered over her shoulder and blinked at its size.  
  
"THAT'S it?! Its. . . . . .really small." Blink, blink. Jes sighed. "I don't care if it was the biggest part of the ship-although that may have made it easier to find- wonder what he wants it for?"  
  
Dib shrugged and began wading out of the pile of discombobulated machinery around him. "I dunno, what IS it anyway?"  
  
"I'm not really sure, I know its part of the ships voice program, but that's about all."  
  
Dib made a soft thinking noise before sitting on the ground and emptying out his boots, spare Voot parts fell from it as he did.  
  
Then he heard it. . . .the ticking noise had returned! He nearly fell over in the process of turning around, but it was all too late. The boy was pounced by the metal beast.  
  
Jes made a short surprised yip and whipped out her gun, reminding herself to watch Dib closer. Tij grinned through silvery teeth before prowling off his body. Dib made an annoyed face and felt all his ribs, positive he had heard a crack.  
  
"Why do you- never mind. Did you get it?" he asked eagerly, like a little boy at Christmas time.  
  
The robot shot an annoyed glare to him and spat the vial out onto the grass. "Happy now." He really wasn't asking a question, more like a command with a hint of unsure-ness to it.  
  
Before Dib had a chance to answer, he had walked over to Jes and was now giving her a musing expression. "Do you have it?" Another wannabe question but not.  
  
She nodded and held it out to him, which he took via his mouth. Jes's hand trembled a bit as the creatures steel-looking jaws carefully took the part from them. He sneered an ugly look to them both before grinning madly to himself and running off.  
  
-------------------Diamonds and guns! With some downplay on the diamonds!--- -------------  
  
Ari was quite familiar with the noise of her gun charging up, it was now quite warm due to use. Zim was a few meters away from her, boredly picking off humans who hadn't caught the virus yet.  
  
Grimacing with an odd sort of glee in her eyes, she let loose all the hatred that had been kept inside her, for all the times she was different, for all the things man kind had done, to show the superior that they were not immortal. Ari fondled the trigger with her finger, looking around for more humans. More waste to be cleared away.  
  
A hand gripped her shoulder, a man who was wearing a suit and glasses stared into her eyes as she spun around. His eyes widened, years of age showing in them, his brown hair looking as if it had been the sole survivor of a whirlwind. He grabbed her shoulders tightly and smiled as he studied her face.  
  
Ari was shocked. This man was touching her. . .yet why wasn't she objecting? There was something disturbingly familiar about him, a cloud of déjà vu seemed to wrap around her mind. . .He brushed some hair from her face and he whispered, "Genevari."  
  
It was like getting slapped in the face by the hand of realization. She knew this man. She knew him well. He was most definitely, Luke Jones.  
  
"Don't you recognize me Ari? Didn't you read the newspapers? I'm back! I missed you so much, but now its ok, we'll find your mother, and then we'll be a family again! One big happy family!"  
  
Ari flew backwards and ripped herself from his grasp. It wasn't true, not possible. . .Or was it?! Her father had been presumed dead after he had gone on a trip into the woods with some coworkers of his, one came back but he was mad. Stark raving mad. Ari snapped back to reality and looked into the confused man's eyes, drawing a shuddering breath.  
  
"No. . . " It was barely a whisper. "Its too late. . .Its too late!" Unwanted tears were welling, her eyes began to glass over as another shuddering breath was taken. "You left us. . .And now its all wrong." Her grip on her gun was so tight her knuckles were turning white.  
  
He was confused, his mouth hung open a bit as he tried to figure out what she could be talking about. No hug? No long lost now found moment? Instead, his daughter was standing there holding an odd gun in her hands, tears slipping down her skin?  
  
"Ari? What's the matter-"  
  
"STOP IT! You're not real. You're dead. . ."  
  
He gave her a crushed and puzzling look. How could this be the same girl?  
  
"Ari-!?" Zim had come walking around a corner of a building and spotted the pair. "What is this!? Mutiny!?"  
  
Ari didn't know what to say, she stared between the two, making short shuddering gasps.  
  
"Kill him."  
  
The man straightened up and looked frightened. "What do you want!?" he looked to Ari and instinctively stepped in front of her. "Don't hurt her, please!" Did he not understand?  
Ari backed away from behind the man, the command from Zim said Kill him. But her loyalty and code, no killing family! She'd sworn never to hurt those she loved, even though they sometimes did to her. And she'd always say she'd die for her family, no matter what. What kind of sicko would she be? It was either a death wish and mutiny to save her father, or go against her code and give into her large amount of loyalty and obedience to Zim. If she disobeyed Zim, not only would she be killed along with her father, but it would be like spitting in the face of the person you loved most, like throwing away all her hopes and dreams.  
  
"Zim please. . .don't make me. . .He's my father!" she pleaded and sank to her knees, tears still dripping down her cheeks.  
  
Zim scoffed, exchanging a look from Ari to her "father"  
  
"Ari. . .I feel your obedience to me is wearing thin. . ." he shot a look to her with cold red eyes, showing the ruthless invader that he was.  
  
Her eyes widened at this remark, she shook her head slowly, this was all a nightmare. . .  
  
She found herself raising the gun to the man's forehead, his wide eyes looking over her like a wounded puppy that she had just kicked. He murmured, "Kumari. . .No. . .Please. . .What are you going to do to me?"  
  
Wide eyes that were glazed over, she spoke slowly and with a hint of insanity,  
  
"You're dead. Now be dead."  
---------------------------------------  
  
Dude you don't know how are it was to write this chapter for me, I love my dad to bits, bout the only difference from me and Ari really. Sad eh? I don't usually want reviews but today I think might appreciate them more. . . 


	19. The Car Crash on Memory Lane

Happy birthday to me. Ha ha ha. -----------------------------  
  
The trigger clicked.  
  
The gun was dropped, but the noise it made as it hit the ground was muffled out by the thud of the man's body.  
  
Zim smirked and turned, motioning with an airy wave for Ari to follow him.  
  
Her eyes were completely glassed over, it was hard to see now, but she could just barely make out the still form of her father's body. Something inside of her broke that day, something that to this day really hasn't yet been found, or maybe doesn't exist. Whatever it was, it changed her just a bit. . .Her mind was racing with empty thoughts, her mind nothing but a white void full of static noise.  
  
Her throat stopped functioning as she stood up, she hadn't even shot him while on two feet. . .She had become one of those villains on TV, who killed the innocent and the defenseless. Both of which her father had become.  
  
Her hands ached from gripping the gun so hard, but now her fingers twitched, begging her to stoop down and grab the gun, and place it somewhere where it belonged. . .Except the only place she could think of was to her head.  
  
She thought to herself, "I'm such a wuss. . .I'm a murderer!!!. . .I can't back out now. . .I'M A FILTHY ROTTEN KILLER!. . .Its for Zim, I had to obey. . .COLD HEARTED BITCH!. . ." They, being the voices in her head, rambled on over and over, she found herself walking over to catch up with Zim, the past cannot be undone. And she wasn't going to try and change that.  
  
Her chest hurt as she angrily wiped the tears from her eyes. No one would ever be close to her again, ever. She smiled. She couldn't help it, the muscles in her jaw were glued there it seemed, so instead of fight it, she laughed to herself.  
  
Zim quirked a brow towards her and continued her walking. She grinned to herself a little wider this time, running to catch up with the only person who mattered in her life now.  
  
----------------------------------------In the fourth car that day---------- -------------------------------  
  
"FOUR THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED TWENTY TWOOOOO GRAPES IN MY GUT, FOUR THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED TWENTY TWOOOOO, I SWALLOW SOME DOWN, AND MUSH 'EM AROUND, AND THAT MAKES FOUR THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED TWENTY THREEEEEE GRAPES IN MY GUT!" Screeched Umi, rocking his head back and forth to the side as he sang.  
  
Jaz's grip on the steering wheel tightened again, the higher the pitch the tighter she grabbed. Finally, she snapped.  
  
"UMI! DO YOU HAVE TO SING THAT IDIOTIC SONG!? BESIDES, IT'S SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN, DOWN! NOT UP! SO IT CAN END BEFORE I AM FORCED TO RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR-" The car swerved off the road, as she had been peering at her cousin too long. The two screamed as the car skidded madly on the black asphalt, Jaz frantically lunging for the wheel and trying to correct the metal beast's path.  
  
After a frantic squeedily-spooch racing moment or two, the car was back to driving along the road.  
  
Jaz had narrowed her eyes to the point where they were in danger of disappearing off her face, unless she crashed the car first. Umi grinned cheekily, his tongue sticking out. The girl at the wheel made a fist while the other hand grabbed the wheel. Closing her eyes to perhaps soothe the migraine coming on, she took no notice of the large energy ball forming in her hands. Umi blinked a bit unnerved as Jaz blatantly opened her eyes and kept driving, the ball slowly getting larger.  
  
"Uhm.Jaz?" he peeped quietly, not wanting to have his neck wrung.  
  
She narrowed her annoyed eyes at the road, not looking towards Umi, or the still growing ball of pain in her hand.  
  
"Ehh, Jaz? Prima? Cuz?" he squeaked, edging away from the large ball and pressing himself against seat of the jeep.  
  
No response, she must be really pissed.  
  
He coughed. Nothing from Jaz. The ball spiraling and floating over her hand was now beginning to glow brighter, changing from an orange-ish color to a bright icy blue.  
  
He huffed. "MAHINA!!!"  
  
Jaz twitched and turned her head quickly towards her annoying cousin, and got one quick glimpse of her face before realizing she had been spacing off and forming a ball of death in her hand at the same time.  
  
The human looking girl screamed in surprise and launched the ball of energy behind them, stomping her foot on the pedal. Umi turned around to watch as a small explosion took place behind them, giving the jeep an unexpected burst of speed and enveloping a gas station in flames.  
  
Jaz looked around sheepishly. "Ehh. . .I'm sure no one'll notice. . ." -Looking like this--- ^__^;;  
  
Umi was gaping at her and crossed his arms, scoffing. "And they say I'M crazy."  
  
---------------------------------------------The Way back to Zim's base.some more-----------------------  
  
Ari had been quiet so far, forcing herself to forget the look her father had given her, and also trying to make the voices bickering back and forth in her head shut up.  
  
As Zim marched, she looked around, wondering why these streets were so familiar seeming. . .The answer slowly came to her like sinking into a warm bath, this was her neighborhood.  
  
She sadly glanced at the cracking houses, concrete walls that were being torn down, benches smashed and windows broken, her own house was looking in need of some major repairs. She looked up from the ground from which she gloomily stared at to clear her throat.  
  
"Zim?" she asked, her voice still a bit unsteady and wavering.  
  
He stopped and turned. "What. . .?"  
  
"May I go inside my house for a moment? I can't help but want to. . ." She pleaded innocently, putting her hands behind her back.  
  
Changing his expression to a rather bored yet slightly quizzical face, he shrugged. "Fine, but be quick. Remember what I've said about the gophers!"  
  
Ari let a tiny smile break through the mask of her face and did a flourishing bow, one of which Zim enjoyed every time it was given. She turned and ran up the stone walkway, noticing the front door had been ripped off. Zim looked as if he was about to stay outside and wait, but he too had reminded himself of his threat about the gophers and scurried inside, jumpily holding his gun ready.  
  
She sighed, looking at the peeling blue wallpaper and the empty food containers still waiting to be taken to the dumpster. Something rustled in the next room, causing Ari to jump and peer inside it, nothing but an open window near a tree. A shadow flitted behind her as she shut it.  
  
Running her hands along the wall, she made her way to the room, still a bit unnerved from the shadows that had begun to sneak their ways into her house, sunset was approaching, fast.  
  
She stared longingly at her mothers door, the last place she had seen her for a while. She creaked open the door slowly, layers of actual dust slowly filtering themselves through it into the dark room.  
  
Coughing at the sudden barrage of microscopic dirt floating in the air, she could have sworn as she jerked her head forwards involuntarily due to the coughing a pile of blankets shifted quickly.  
  
Suddenly the room's appearance was no longer warm and inviting, it was cold and desolate. Soon it became nothing more but a reminder of what she had done to her own family. What was worse was the fact that he was not the first.  
  
As she staggered backwards out of the room, she broke into a crazed run, one thought on her mind-get away from the room. She turned her head to look, to check to see if she really was gaining distance away from her parent's abode when she met face first with evidence. Hard wooden evidence.  
  
She fell backwards, nose sorely bleeding. She stared up at the wall in front of her, the end of the hallway. She remembered never liking this hallway for some reason, perhaps it was the odd bluish wallpapering, which she had noticed was beginning to peel downwards. She grabbed a strip in anger and tore it, revealing a dull brown.  
  
Brown?  
  
Ari wiped a nose with a sleeve and curiously grabbed another piece. She had thought that thump was pretty soft for a wall. . .After a few meticulous minutes of peeling and cursing her short fingernails, she had managed to rip off a large portion by luck. A dull brown wooden door was behind it.  
  
"That's odd. . .I remember a door being her before. . .A long time ago though. . .Maybe it was when we we're touring the house, then it got painted over with wallpaper by the time we bought it. . ." she softly muttered to herself, whipping around as a soft scuffle issued behind her. Once again, her eyes met nothing but emptiness. Childhood memories were few, the few details she could remember had been brought to light due to the unfortunate incident with the brain pulsing machine.  
  
Un-strapping her dagger from her ankle, she stabbed into the door, trying to find where it ended and the actual wall began. Soon enough to rotting wall paper, she found a large discolored streak which her dagger plunged through. Pulling it down, she struggled to rip the gargantuan papering away from the secret door. Giving up, she decided she would have to at least cut the bottom papering as well. A minute more of slicing and stabbing of walls and carpet and soon enough she had peeled a good enough amount of it off the door. Clutching the sticky handle due to wallpaper residue, she placed a foot against the wall and pulled for all she was worth. (which at the moment, she reminded herself, wasn't much.)  
  
The door didn't give at all the first try, but around the 3rd and a half try it emitted a large puff of dust that swirled around Ari's loose pant covered ankles. This tiny crevice gave Ari new hope as she tugged harder, wondering how long it would take for her ankle to eventually snap in half from the pressure on her foot.  
  
Finally, as if the door had just given up, it slid backwards with unknown speed into the wall slot.  
  
"Damn sliding doors. . .I never liked them. . ." Ari muttered random thoughts out loud as she dusted herself off, having fallen on her ass.  
  
Standing up, she stared into the small room, it must have been about 7 feet by 7 feet at the largest. Inside was a large crib, adorned with dust riddled designs and pictures. Blocks littered the ground, it looked as if the room had been suddenly abandoned and sealed off for no apparent reason. Ari walked slowly over to the crib, extremely confused why she had never known about her family owning a crib, or anything else in this room for that matter.  
  
Then it hit her like a brick in the face. Memories came flooding back as she bent down to pick up a block with the letter J on it.  
  
She had not been an only child.  
  
"Jason. . .How did I forget about him!? How the hell did I do that. . ." first she was struck with curiosity, then wonder at how she could forget her own brother, then more self hatred.  
  
It was a suppressed memory for a reason.  
  
Ari heaved a large sigh, her hands involuntarily fondling the block she held in her hands, tracing the letter J over and over again. Her thoughts and memories were unnaturally clear to her as she reminisced.  
  
Ari was young, probably around 6 or 7 years old, she was never good at remembering numbers. For some reason, whether it was jealousy of affection or her natural dislike for children, Ari had gotten rather mad at Jason. Although she generally was all smiles when he was around her, the bubbling cooing ball of youth and innocence, fury and loathing were strong in this memory.  
  
Jason was premature, a month or two, and his immunity system wasn't working very well. Ari knew this, and didn't agree with the medications she saw her parents happily cramming down his throat. Natural selection was how the world should be ruled in her opinion.  
  
One day, she snapped. She let all the anger she had for that poor kid out one day. Placing his favorite toys in a neat arrangement that lead to the stairs, Ari placed his favorite one at the very bottom. Jason sat at the top of the stairs, still unable to speak full words. Unknowingly, he amused himself at the top of the stairs for a while before noticing his prized toy down at the stairs. Like any intelligent kid, he went down backwards, one stair at a time.  
  
Until he slipped.  
  
He suffered from multiple bruises and one too many hits to the head as he lay there next to his favorite toy.  
  
Halfway through his tumbling Ari realized her stupidity, and made an attempt to catch him but it was all too late.  
  
So she turned tail and ran. She left him and ran to her parents. He died on the way to the hospital, foaming and having seizures. All her parents knew was that he had been left unattended and had gotten out of his crib and somehow fallen down the stars, Ari saw him and went for help.  
  
Nothing more.  
  
And to think she was holding his favorite toy.  
  
Too sad to weep, to cry, to even shed a tear, she silently stood up and placed the block down on the ground from where she had gotten it. Stepping back, she murmured, "Genevari my brother. . .Forgive my soul if I have any left."  
  
She turned on her heel and left the door open, it was a secret she would no longer hold. She was a killer, and she was obviously getting good at it.  
  
As she walked through the halls again, a shadow flashed past her into he room. She pursued it, leaping madly after it.  
  
"DAMNIT FACE ME YOU DEMON!"  
  
She snarled as she searched her room, finally giving up and collapsing on the ground. Sighing, she murmured, "I give up." In the moment of silence, a snuffle was heard.  
  
She looked up and reached towards her dresser. Ari's hand shot out and dragged out her stalker by the leg. 1 of 4. Kicking and scrambling, the white-tinted ball of fur hissed and scratched until it realized who was holding him.  
  
"Skitzobunny. . .I can't believe you came back. . .You're supposed to be living wild in my backyard!" she placed a finger to his noise, looking into his crazed blue eyes, the left one having a large black ring around it. He snuffled again, a low sort of sneezing cough and shook his head, his "cripple ear" (it was permanently waved) flopping and twitching.  
  
Ari hugged him again. "I missed you. . ." That rabbit had grown up with her, being 9 years old now. For the first 5 or 6 years of his life he had been deemed a rather girly name, since that's what everyone had thought him to be. . .Until a surprise visit to the vet proved them all wrong. A little while after that he seemed to go crazy, and would often run into walls, run and flip and twist midair, and other peculiar things.  
  
Her cuddly moment was interrupted by sort of annoyed noise. She turned and looked at Zim with mildly innocent eyes. Murmuring softly, more to herself than the alien,  
  
"You surprised him."  
  
Zim scoffed lightly. "I would expect even earth creatures to be able to detect the presence of superiority when they see it. . ."  
  
Ari stood, clutching Skitzobunny to her chest as she did so. "Animals aren't like mankind Zim. . .we are all equal to them. Or at least we used to be. . ." she trailed off.  
  
He did nothing but quirk an eyebrow. "You're saying that THING would see me no different than a HUUUUUMAN?!"  
  
She nodded and shrugged at the same time, while her rabbit wiggled in her arms.  
  
"I am finished her Zim, may we return to your base now?"  
  
Zim nodded and shivered, the sun had definitely set by now, the last rays of sunshine spacing out over the thing layers of clouds.  
  
---------------------------------And to finish it off----------------------- -----------------------  
  
Dib was trying to ignore the images of needles and syringes that danced in his head, rubbing a hand sorely over the spot where Jes had so kindly injected him with the formula Tij had given them. Jes too rubbed a spot on her arm, only it had been much harder since Dib;s hands were shaking too much and she was forced to give herself the shot.  
  
Britt wandered over to Dib and sat down in front of him, blinking.  
  
He blinked back, and basically that's all they really did.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------  
  
Ok, I am EXTREMEMLY tired, its 2 AM, I need some frickin sleep. SLEEEEP. SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP. Ari is crazy neh? Sorry for the lackage of characters and stuff, I'm makin it up as I go, remember that. I just read some awesome stories too, One by InvaderNak called Dawn of Terror, pretty good if you ask me, except I now look like a poser because I used an idea of killing family members which I didn't know had already been used in a zim fic damnit.SLEEP. DUDE-Now I have 141 friggin reviews!!! YOU GUYS AMAZE ME. I mean, you're bothering to take the time to type words just so it can make me feel better? Or perhaps your just wondering if you'll get a prize if you're the something number reviewer eh? Oooooo secrety. Hehehe I'm not making sense to me anymore.woosh. 


	20. Skitzobunny's Victory and Blue Ear's Lis...

Ok, Exams suck. AND THANKS for the reviews guys! Ashsema, joo kick ass, now UPDATE! ----Hypocrite----And quit buttering me up ^__^ You'll feed my nonexistent ego. Alright Alright, here's the pity party invitation. My comp isn't working, for a full description read my journal at my art site, http:// arijones . deviantart. com Just take out the spaces. I can't upload any new art due to my comp and printer and everything ganging up on me, sorry. I'm trying my best to be inspired. . .its hard. . But since I love you guys so much for reading this piece of shiza, I'll upload a new one. But it may be the last one I do. . . . .

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-At Zim's House-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Ari sat quietly in the odd shaped window, stroking Skitzobunny, who to Zim's repulsion had been brought home with her.

"I swear he'll be good!"

"No WAY! That creature is FOAMING!"

At which point Ari retaliated by saying, 

"He's the only thing from earth that matters to me anymore Zim……PLEEEESE?!?" Switching last-minute from sentimental guilt trip to downright begging.

Zim rolled his eyes. "Fine, but if that thing gets eaten by Gir don't come eye-vomiting to me." He crossed his arms and "hmmphed." As they walked home.

The flashback ended, fading in Ari's mind, making her feel grateful, although she didn't know why, and didn't at this point care. Skitzobunny merely twitched and chewed on her shirt in response to her pause in petting.

In a content sigh, Ari felt the urge to stop watching the ravenous sewer gophers attack the remaining citizens, their screams of anguish dampening her happy mood. She hopped to her feet, putting the shivering mass of fur and claws on the ground. His needing-a-trim claws clicked as he ran off, probably chew more wires or eat dog food, either way it would annoy Zim.

The newly- irken girl stood there quietly, feeling she was becoming a bit of a nuisance to her alien idol. She sighed and walked to the elevator under Zim's rancid green couch and boarded it.

"I wonder what he's up to. . . . " she softly murmured to herself to try and take her mind off the eerie elevator noises.

As the elevator lurched to a stop, Ari hopped out and wandered around looking for her favorite green skinned friend. Although at the moment it really seemed like she should've said master, but either way she was loving it. Ever since she was a small kid she thought it'd be great just to always have someone bigger than you, not literally in this case, but it was a comforting thought to her. Even if she was a slave it wouldn't bother her, it was just in her demented nature.

She spied her prey, sneaking up behind him. Her relatively short antennae bobbing as she leapt slightly, putting her arms on his shoulders and spooking the poor guy.

"EEAGHH! What the- Oh, it's just you, for a moment there I thought it was that wretched Dib. . ." he growled under his breath at the mere thought of him. He turned to go back to his work.

"You dwell." was the simple response that was given to him as Ari sat in a swivel chair that had randomly popped out of the floor.

"! I-THE MIGHTY ZIM DOES NOT DWELL! Especially on such stupid things." he finished curtly.

Ari gave an unconvinced look. "What are you planning to do now?" her voice filled with curiosity, after all it was her planet's fate and whatnot.

He shrugged his shoulders simply. "Well, after I inform the Tallest that I've FINALLY conquered this HORRIBLE stinking DIRT mound, they'll have NO choice but to give me an invitation to their. . .ceremonial. . .meeting. . .thing. Then I'll come back and rule over whatever horrible organisms still remain here, maybe I'll make it a zoo. . ." he trailed off pondering.

She blinked and spun her chair around in circles. "Why's it so important you go to this. . .meeting thing?" Finding a more intelligent way of wording it had proved more difficult than she had thought. 

He nearly gaped. "Because-it gives the GREAT Invaders a chance to talk about how they conquered their filthy planets, and show off what the inhabitants look like, some of them keep them as pets. . .Zim shuddered at the thought of an overfed lethargic drooling mass of stupidity being his "pet". 

Wide eyes took up most of the space on Ari's face. "Can I come too. . . . . ?" It was just barely above a whisper but a flick of his antennae could show he understood her.

Ignoring the fact he was planning on bringing her anyway, he gave a long taunting "Hmmmm" which Ari took quite seriously.

Her fingers linked themselves together, her hands palm to palm in a pleading pose. "PLEASE Zim! I won't say anything! I can pretend to be a mute! I'll wear whatever you want me to, pigtails, skirts, high heels, a leash,-" 

The alien merely sprung an invisible eyebrow. She seemed pathetically desperate yet strangely determined on coming with him. He finally ended her rant by saying, "Alright alright, but on one condition. You'll have to stay in your Earthenoid form until I say. Is this a deal?"

Ari's eyes must have swollen to the size of grapefruits, they were watered over and shining, giving her a cheesy almost anime look to her. She nearly pounced him, after being down on her knees before it was a relief when her body met his in a soft yet somewhat very loving hug. Her forehead laid on a part of chest and a part of shoulder, embarrassingly enough he seemed taller than her, although it was true, he HAD grown at least 2 inches on his entire time on Earth. After all, a failed two years seemed enough didn't it?

Not as surprised by this as Zim thought he would be, he mentally congratulated himself. Either it was for wooing a female of sorts or just thinking himself such an expert on humans he could predict her next move, most likely the latter.

Ari gave a rather content squeak without opening her mouth, as she moved her arms to his shoulders and, being too happy to blush, she planted a soft kiss on whatever alien lips he had.

She stood back and gave a long flourish of a bow, never minding his form of bewildered surprise.

"When do you plan on going? Where is it held? Do you need to write a speech? What will you have to wear? How do you get there? How long with the trip take? Will your leaders be there? Will I get to see them? Do I have to wear a collar? Am I allowed to go pack now?" She was sub-consciously bobbing up and down on her feet with pure bliss.

Zim merely brushed off the look of surprise, before closing his red eyes and thinking.

"As soon as the human race has dwindled to one thousand remaining, on the Massive, er-No I don't think so, By voot- wait I mean formal Irken dress, THEN voot, Not too long, The tallest will be present, If your lucky, They'll decide that, and Yes." he panted. Stupid curious human beings.

Ari's squeak of joy was interrupted as Gir came screaming into the room, glue and what looked like a guinea pig was all over his face while he clutched feathers in each hand and chanted.

". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." Zim and Ari gave each other confused glances before Zim proceeded to tell Gir off and sent him to wash himself off and detach the wildly screaming guinea pig from the side of his face.

"GIR get that DISGUSTING thing off of your face!"

"What thing?!" he said in an excited paranoia.

". . .The earth beast that you seem to have fused to your head."

"WHERE IS IT?!"

Zim pointed bluntly. "Right there."

Gir madly swung his head to see, but as the guinea pig was stuck to it, it too was swung, A few silent moments passed as Zim and Ari watched the robot frantically swing his head side to side to glimpse it but with no luck. Eventually he paused, and ran back upstairs chanting again.

". . . . Is Gir-"

"Never."

-----------------------------------At the house of the Membrane Boy----------------------------------------

"Come on Jes. . .THINK! We've got to come up with SOME way of defeating Zim, ONCE and for all. . .This is our last chance to save humanity! Mankind's future DEPENDS on us! We cannot afford to fail!"

Jes was sitting on his bed attempting to balance a pencil on her nose, vertically. "Dib, has it ever occurred to you that mankind might deserve this? You know. . .karma and all."

He looked at her with a tired and scrutinizing look that mingled with confusion. "What?! What has mankind ever done to. . . .everyone else?"

She gave an annoyed look as if it couldn't be more obvious. "Well, they did cut down the rainforests, wipe out entire species, start wars for the stupidest purposes, created machines that polluted the world, which if I'm not mistaken eventually lead to global warming. . ." She trailed off giving him a slightly accusing look.

He blanked and brushed it off. "It was for the better of the world!. . . . . . . Ok, so mankind has done some pretty stupid things, but getting wiped off the face of the EARTH!? Its like the dinosaur era all over again!"

"Ahh yes, the horrible gluttonous beasts that ravaged the land without mercy, then were wiped out by an unknown cause, paving the way for an even better world suited for more intelligent creatures. . .I see your point.:" she smirked. Annoying Dib this late at night was fun.

Dib sighed and gave up. "I guess you're right about THAT part. . .But I will NOT let the Irken race win!" he stood up from his chair he had been sitting in, knocking papers with ideas on how to spread the antidote fell from the desk as he yawned.

"So is Zim doing this all on his own?" she asked, catching Dib's yawn.

Dib shook his head as he rummaged for pajamas to wear, an old tradition that he would never let die.

"Nah, he's got this maniacal girl from school helping him."

Jes sat up. "What kind of stupid person goes to HELP the threat to Earth?!"

"Ari does. Did you see her around when you crashed near Zim's?"

She shook her head, purple holographic hair realistically swaying. Dib had told her it was best if she was kept unseen, although she missed the point of it. "I didn't see any humans around him. . .unless. . ..What's she look like?!"

Dib was a bit surprised by the anxious tone. "Eh, I dunno, blonde hair, blue eyes, about. . This tall." he showed her a few inches below him. Jes's eyes went wide.

"Oooooo Zim's going to get KILLED for that! I can't believe it! And it actually worked?! Amazing really, didn't think it was possible, especially not for him-"

"Do what!? Tell me!" he said, new information to him on this was like a dog bone to an underfed puppy.

"Well I'll just say she's not human anymore. . .And Zim's done an extremely illegal thing by making her so."

Dib pieced it together mentally until his eyes shot wide with realization. "So THAT'S why she helped him. . .Stupid girl! She's so selfish! Sacrificing the WORLD for her own. . .happiness!!! But wait! What will happen if anyone ever finds out what he did?" a new glimmer of hope had begun to flicker in his eyes.

"Well, it's Irken law that the one who commits such an offense as this would probably get the death penalty. . .or maybe just get a few thousand laser shots, I'm not good with the law and all. . ." she stretched and yawned, flopping over onto Dib's bed. 

"BLACKMAIL! Of course, that's it Jes, we'll threaten to . . .tell the Armada what he's done, and get him. . .whatevered so he can't kill everyone off! Or. . .something similar to that idea involving blackmail!!!" He looked so happy saying this. . ."I'm going to go change, the guest bedroom's down the hall and next to the statue of my dad. . ." he grabbed his pajamas and a toothbrush that was in a pencil jar on his desk as he left, murmuring future plans.

Jes smiled, seeing as how she hadn't brought any clothes with her she was borrowing one of Gaz's night shirts, it was a creepy black with a jagged purple swirl on the front. As she changed, she made a note to herself that the window needed to be closed, as she was shivering and a cold breeze was coming through it.

As she slipped the gown on, she turned around with her arms outstretched to shut it when suddenly she realized the breeze had died down due to something in the window. A very large, black outlined red-eyed something.

She shrieked a bit and stepped back. "Don't DO that-hey wait were you WATCHING me?!?"

Tij merely laughed and leapt down from his sitting position into the room, his heavy metal paws skidding a bit on loose papers and magazines. He give a disdained look at the mess around him. The first thing to notice about him was that the lighting in the room suddenly looked a lot less bright as the cold hateful red eyes met hers. The second thing though, was that his front paws were covered in what looked like flaking rust 

"No, I wasn't for your information. . .speaking of which, how's the little 'save the world' escapade going? It doesn't seem too successful if you ask me."

"I didn't." she glared. He was NOT one of her most loved things to see this late at night, especially when she was alone and weaponless, although she was hoping he didn't know that.

"Touchy aren't we? You don't speak so confidently when your gun isn't on you." he smirked.

"Just because I'm physically weaponless doesn't mean I can't kick your ass, why've you come here?" her patience was running out.

He gave a placid yawn, then with a taunting tone, "Its dreadfully cold outside, and I'm afraid I've not made the best of impressions on the dog owners on this block-" his speech was interrupted by the sound of gunshots in the air, with the barely audible cry of "We're-a gonna find that dog-eatin' monster!" and whatnot.

Tij gave an innocent look at the ceiling as Jes realized that most certainly wasn't rust on his feet, it was dried blood. How lovely. 

"Look, Tij," she said his name with annoyance, "I'm not letting you stay here, besides you don't DIE I've gathered that much about you. Anyway this isn't even my house its Dib's-"

He strolled into the room with a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

"Yea Jes- EEEAAAA!" he cried out, the toothbrush dropping from his mouth as he recoiled. "What are YOU doing here. . .again?"

"I won't repeat myself. If you really are that desperate for an intelligent conversation, I'm going to be downstairs on your couch." and with that as his final statement he left a very shocked Dib and an annoyed Jes as he sauntered down the stairs, mechanical gears chiming as he did.

"I'm not going to sleep at all tonight knowing that thing is in my house. . . . . ." Dib murmured as Jes stood up to go to the guest room.

She turned and looked at him. "What'll your DAD say?"

He shrugged. "He hasn't been here in a while, he's working on the antidote, which I have yet to show to him. . ." Dib almost seemed to have found a smug little smile placed on his face, was it because he had in a way, bested his father?

Jes sighed a bit and turned for the guest room, making a turn into the door at the dramatically posed statue of Dr. Membrane.

--------------------------------------At Wooshlines Airports-----------------------------------------------------

"I can't believe it Umi, these people have no clue what a ship is anymore, I mean, you say the word old fashioned sailing ship and these idiots say 'Pirates.' I guess we'll be taking this crude air-machine as a plan B." Jaz frowned at the large luxury plane in front of her, she had heard these things were fast, but she needed to get there SOON. And Umi's cram-as-much-airport-food-into-his-mouth-game wasn't helping.

"Come on Primah! We're gonna misth the flighth!" he said, his cheeks bulging a bit from the cookie he had previously shoved in it.

Jaz sighed, for once he seemed to have said something of slight sense.

"Yes. . .that would be a pity. . .Well grab the Sirs and hurry up my eccentric cousin, and this time, make sure they STAY deactivated, got it?" Lately Jaz was emitting an air of superiority, of a cold determination, Umi could feel that Jaz was already tensing up, she was becoming a lot faster in her reactions and her eyes never lingered on the same thing for more than a moment.

. . .But to Umi this just meant his ability to annoy her was simplified greatly. . .

It was no more than 17 earth minutes before Jaz began her colorful habit of cursing underneath her breath, her long disturbingly well defined near-talon-resembling human fingernails drummed the arm rest perplexedly. "DAMNIT what could be taking the idiots so LONG?!" she stood up from her chair and growled to herself, making Umi wonder if he shouldn't have started pegging her with airplane peanuts as they were boarding. . .

By now the large plane was taking off, its ugly colored purple nose pointed towards the sky, as flight attendants scurried around the scarcely populated ship to rant about seatbelts. 

A flustered flight attendant scurried up to Jaz with an astounded look on her face.   


"Please er, miss, you MUST stay seated during th-" That was as far as she could get before getting absentmindedly shoved into the side of the plane. She was obstructing Jaz's path, what else was she supposed to do???

Umi laughed as he always did, her antics amusing him more than usual.

Jaz ripped back the old fashioned curtains the pilots were sitting in, they both turned in their swivel chairs to look at her. She gripped one around the neck collar and lifted him off the ground. His fat grubby hands clawed at her arm, trying to get her grip to loosen.

"You! You're a pathetic pilot and you fly too slow for my needs. . .your services are no longer needed." she grinned, chucking him out of the small pilots room. As she turned to the other, a long lanky man with spindly fingers holding a rather shaky gun, she merely grinned oddly lupine teeth and dealt him a quick uppercut to the nose.

"Now. . . . . Umi set the flight controls and prepare the engines, if you can't do that at let's PRETEND you can! We're making this an express trip!" 

"YESSAH MY COUSIN, now, FREE THE SIRS! EEEEHEEHE! And quickly my robot friends, RAID THE FOOD STORAGE! AND FIND MORE FRENCH GIRLS! Auh hau hau hau!" he ended in a disturbingly accurate French laugh.

The shape shift shuddered and made it a point to threaten to have Umi neutered if he didn't behave better on the trip home. . .

-----------------------------------------------END---------SO FAR-------------------------------------------

Uhm…yep….what a let down chappy eh? I mean…NOTHING happened….. Don't worry, the NEXT CHAPTER-hopefully! If I DO make it, Jaz and Zim, duel to the finish! Umi finds yet ANOTHER love interest! Tij. . .well actually I don't know. . .What he does in this story yet, he sorta decides himself, and ARI. . . .gets a space banana or something, I dunno. . .whatever. I LOVE YOU ALL! And look, my comp is fixed!


	21. I'm Sorry You Guys

Dear Readers-  
  
You probably all came here expecting another chapter, but I have chosen to disappoint- or otherwise delight- you by depriving you of it. This month, week in general, has not been a good week. Many bad things have happened and I will hopefully end up getting a job. This means that Ari's Story may come to a rather rushed close, or maybe lay unfinished for quite a while. It's a sad sad time.  
  
Which leads to the fact that I don't think this is going to have a very happy ending. . .  
  
See you all around, hopefully.  
  
And you can all bitch at Jaz, who got to read a part of the chapter that I haven't written enough of to post, but I assure you it's going to be the longest chapter by far.  
  
Maybe I'll make it a tragedy, ya know? What do you guys want, a tragedy, or a happy ending? Or something else entirely? Like a lame twisty ending?  
  
So, until next time, this is Amanda, the loser who types too much, saying goodbye.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
Bye. 


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